Warrior Week: 'She' May Be The Film You Can’t Forget…

by Ben Bussey

“I have mastered your god! Accept me! NOW!”

As film fans in the 20teens, just how often nowadays do we truly feel like we’ve made a discovery? Here in the wonderful world of cyberspace – with IMDb, Wikipedia and the proliferation of blogs and fan sites of which your beloved Brutal As Hell is but one – it seems that everyone and his dog can be a movie nerd now. With just a click of a mouse you can find out all there is to know about every weird, silly and obscure film under the sun, from every last plot detail to the names of the best boy and the key grip. Pah! In my day you had to earn your nerdiness! You had to venture out to obscure corners of town in search of musty comic shops and film memorabilia flea markets, where shelves bent under the weight of pirate VHS copies of outlawed European horror films! You had to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with over-or-underweight men riddled with acne and humming with body odour, trawling through magazine racks in search of strange and enticing publications with lurid names and mostly-naked pictures of Brinke Stevens on the cover! None of this new-fangled Google and Netflix malarkey…

Okay, now that I’ve got that ageing geek Luddite diatribe out of my system, back to the point: discovery. That sense that you’ve found something amazing which the masses are not aware of; it’s so pivotal to the cult film experience, and it’s something we seem to be losing nowadays. But hear me, brothers and sisters, it is not gone completely. I can say this with authority, as I have recently had the pleasure of seeing for the first time a film that I hitherto knew nothing about, only to discover one of the most entertaining low-budget fantasy films I’ve seen in a long time; this is a film so gloriously unhinged and outlandish, I’m truly astonished it doesn’t have more of a reputation. I’m talking about writer/director Avi Nesher’s 1982 post-apocalyptic action adventure extraordinaire, She.

(Cue the outcry of umpteen film geeks older and more knowledgeable than I, decrying me as a young pretender for not having seen this film sooner…)

On adding She to my Lovefilm list (alright, so I do Lovefilm, guess I’m not that much of a luddite), all I knew was that it starred Sandahl Bergman – true love of Conan/tyrannical lesbian nemesis of Red Sonja, whose virtues I have already sung here – and that it was said to be a futuristic variation on the classic H. Rider Haggard novel which previously formed the basis of the 1965 Hammer film with Ursula Andress. True enough, Nesher’s film opens with a quote from Haggard and cites the inspiration of the novel in the end credits; however, beyond that the connection is so tenuous, it borders on non-existent. The eponymous She (actually called Ayesha in the novel and the Hammer film) is worshipped as a goddess and is allegedly immortal, the secret of which immortality is bathing in a magical power source, a pillar of fire in the novel, a rock-lined hot tub here (thereby providing the requisite excuse for a nude scene). And… that’s about it. I’ll admit it’s been a while since I’ve read the novel, but I’m buggered if I can see any more of H. Rider Haggard in Nesher’s narrative. And Haggard isn’t the only conspicuous absentee; there’s also the matter of logic, good taste, and restraint…

The plot, such as it is, goes a little something like this: at an unspecified future date, ’23 years after the Cancellation’ apparently, nomad siblings Tom (David Goss), Dick (Harrison Muller) and Hari (Elena Weiderman) – yes, you read those names correctly – find themselves under attack from a tribe of neo-barbarians called the Norks (heheheheheh!), who tend to dress in curious combinations of S&M gear, suits of armour and sports clothing with swastikas drawn on. Hari is promptly stolen away by the Norks (heheheheheh! It doesn’t get old) to their distant kingdom; meanwhile, the shell-shocked Tom and Dick unwittingly drift into the province of She. Naturally, She and her matriarchal military rule with an iron fist, and the daily duties of the populace comprise of standing in what looks like the National Portrait Gallery, bowing and chanting the name of She while chained men in loincloths wait for She herself to emerge and pick one of them as a sacrificial subject. Or something along those lines; I don’t know, it’s never really explained, much as how it’s never explained what The Cancellation was, or why She is venerated as a goddess. Anyway, Tom and Dick cross paths with She and her warrior women, which as you might expect doesn’t work out too well for the boys: Dick gets chained up with the pigs, whilst Tom gets forced to walk blindfolded down a path strewn with big metal spikes, which scratch and stab at his rock-hard abs. However, once they learn that She is the only one who knows the way to the realm of the Norks, they set about abducting her and forcing her to help them rescue Hari. Surprisingly, once She is in their custody they find the goddess/dictator quite forthcoming in offering her assistance, at least in part because it seems she has the hots for Tom. And why not; he’s a beefy, blonde, He-Man-looking kinda guy. Anyway, with She’s right-hand woman Shandra (Quin Kessler) tagging along to make it a foursome, they set off across the wilderness to Norksville.

And what manner of misadventures do they encounter along the way, I hear you ask? Well, there are mutant lepers, vampires, a telekinetic god-king, a Frankenstein robot, and a big burly hairy guy who appears to be a bit gender-confused… and that is to name but a few of the colourful adversaries our heroes encounter. They will do battle, face torture, get magically spun upside down, be imprisoned, don disguises, break free, do battle once more… and so it goes for just over an hour and a half of episodic, swashbuckling, dystopian fun. Most of said action plays out to the sound of early 80s fist-in-the-air hard rock, and synths from none other than the progmeister Rick Wakeman. And from the look of things, it’s all done on a budget slightly less than Kevin Costner’s hairdressing expenses on Waterworld.

No bones about it, She is an extremely silly film; but it’s the greatest, rarest breed of silliness, the kind that, just when you’re sure the film has got as absurd as it’s going to get, it proves you wrong again and again. There’s a madcap, make-it-up-as-we-go-along feel to proceedings that will surely convince many viewers that She is unknowing trash, belonging in the so-bad-it’s-good category at best. Not so, say I. Look at the character names Tom, Dick and Hari. Look at the unrepentant valley girl mannerisms of Quin Kessler, and the goofy antics of Harrison Muller. Take the extravagant theatricality of the supporting cast, from the mutant lepers to the toga-clad romantics to the mad scientists and beyond. Then there’s the laugh-out-loud bridge confrontation that could quite easily have substituted for the Black Knight scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. If anyone sitting down to watch this thinks those involved were unaware of just how ridiculous the whole enterprise is, more fool them.

This, of course, is not to imply that there is nothing here of serious intent. Case in point: Sandahl Bergman. Let no mere mortal question, this woman is 100% serious about KICKING ARSE. If I’ve got the chronology right, she actually made this film before Conan the Barbarian (though it seems to have later been sold on that association, with posters declaring ‘Sandahl Bergman tempted Conan and now she is ready to take on the world!’); prior to this her film work had been primarily as a dancer in All That Jazz and Xanadu (the latter of which featured another notable urban savage, Michael Beck of The Warriors). As such, it was She that really started her on the path to becoming one of the great big screen warrior women. Bergman is one of those rare actresses who truly warrants the description of statuesque, and her dancing background must surely have been a benefit to the fight sequences; check out the early cavern confrontation (embedded below), in which she takes on no less than six opponents single-handed. Sure, the overall treatment is cartoonish, but Bergman clearly means business, leaving even the more (in every sense) cocksure men in the audience in no doubt that she could wipe the floor with them… which is, in itself, rather a turn on. Factor in how scantily-clad she tends to be for the majority of the film, and we’re really onto a winner. Nor was this the last time director Nesher would stir the loins of nerds worldwide, given he went on to douse Drew Barrymore’s boobs with blood in Doppelgänger. (I’m sure other stuff happened in that film as well, but somehow those details slip my mind…)

So, the question remains – why isn’t She a widely acknowledged cult classic? Well, a decent DVD treatment wouldn’t hurt; the 2003 edition from Pegasus is in 4:3 with – if you’ll pardon my technical jargon – really crappy sound and picture quality (you can blame them for how murky these screenshots are), and no extras aside from a negligible image gallery. If Arrow or Shameless could get their hands on She and give it the treatment it deserves, I for one would be very happy. But on the other hand, perhaps the naffness of the sound and picture is part and parcel of the pleasures of a movie like this. It’s a low-rent production with poor photography, creaky sets, cheap-looking costumes; to experience such a film in glorious high definition and crystal clear surround sound might be to lose some of that bargain basement charm.

Either way – if you are as unfamiliar with the unique, exotic and insane delights of She as I was, I urge you to make that pilgrimage, track down that goddess and accept her, NOW! I can’t promise that it will be everyone’s cup of tea, but I should hope we can at least agree that there are very few films quite like it.

Warrior Week: Indonesian Epic 'The Warrior' (1981)

by Keri O’Shea

Movies released on the eponymous Indonesian label Rapi Films were nothing if not a pleasing fusion of East meets West; playing with recognisable genres, yet distinctly Indonesian in theme, you could always be sure of a mix between the familiar and the batshit insane. The Warrior is probably one of the best examples of that mix – coming as it does straight out of the golden age of Indonesian cinema, and what’s more, proving that the Far East could be ahead of the curve too: The Warrior made it to screens a year before Conan the Barbarian did, but anticipated some of its themes.

Without further ado, let me introduce you to our hero and the ‘warrior’ of the title. Meet Djaka Semboeng (or indeed Jaka Sembung – the spelling varies). The plot takes us back to some point in the nineteenth century, and to the Dutch occupation of Indonesia: Jaka, alongside many others, has been captured and put to work for his part in an uprising against the foreign invaders. Soul-crushing labour ensues – but you can’t keep a good man down, and Jaka leads yet another rebellion, Dutch muskets be damned. This time, he escapes, and the Dutch put a bounty on his head – Dead or Alive.

…And who should see one of these Wanted posters, but a local hard-nut, shaven-headed wizard? Kobar is the type of man who can breathe fire and wrestle cattle to death, and he fancies his chances at capturing Sembung. He offers to work for the Dutch – Sembung is bloodily victorious – but the Dutch have obviously taken to the idea of hiring black magicians to work for them, and so they engage a couple more (Indonesia obviously has its fair share). Cue resurrections, explosions, showers of boulders, imprecations to Allah, severed limbs, rudimentary transplants, bodily transformations, oh, and more explosions. Not to mention revenge, and lots of it!

What’s obvious from even the most cursory glance over all of that is that Rapi Films saw no problem with encompassing a fair few genres within one genre film. Here we have a blend of historical drama, fantasy and martial arts (though martial arts seem to be a prerequisite in anything from romance to horror in Far Eastern cinema, to be fair). As ‘busy’ a film as it is, though, The Warrior has more than enough about it to hold these elements together. It moves at a good pace, it’s action-packed, and it has a few minutes which are, to be fair, pretty shocking, considering where and when the film was made, let alone the no doubt limited budget. To balance out the copious use of fireworks and dry ice, The Warrior doesn’t flinch from women being violently beaten, eyes being gouged, and torture aplenty.

Of course, one of the film’s strengths for us Western audiences is the fun to be had from culture shock, and The Warrior has a lot to offer on that score. For a start, howsabout the depiction of Westerners themselves? It’s interesting to see how colonialists could be imagined by the local populations they planted flags amongst, and the Dutch here are our unequivocal bad guys. The only European with a heart is the daughter of the evil Commandant, name of Maria (though she’s played by an Indonesian woman, as there are only a handful of real live white folks in this movie). And, Maria’s sympathy for the native people seems to be a tad influenced by the fact that she has her beady eye on a nice bit of Jaka – which doesn’t do her much good in the end. The rest are ugly, hairy (with a few of the actors getting into role by dyeing their hair and beards an unconvincing blond) and of course arrogant. And their religion? “To hell with those Christians!” exclaims one of the (Muslim) rebels, a phrase which would go down like a cup of cold puke in many parts of Europe and America these days, as would the idea of a good Muslim boy as the hero. Whilst, interestingly, black magic seems to co-exist with Islam in The Warrior, it’s those pesky Dutch who employ it against Jaka, and when Jaka needs assistance, he gets his divine intervention from Allah. Invaders, infidels and conspirators, there’s not much good to say about Jaka’s persecutors here. Well, it makes a change for ‘us’ (perhaps unfairly assuming that the majority of BAH readers are American or European) to be the Other, eh?

As for Jaka himself, he’s intriguing, because he’s a folk hero on-screen played by a folk hero off-screen. Barry Prima, star of The Warrior, is a legendary figure in his native country; see all of those mad martial arts skillz? All genuine, after the star developed a fascination with Bruce Lee as a kid and, instead of just thinking ‘I wish I could do that’ like a lot of us might, he actually learned and learned really bloody well, too. His powerful presence was felt in a number of Indonesian genre films made throughout the 1980s (The Devil’s Sword being another stellar example), and part of the reason that the films are so successful is that, like so many genre film actors, he plays his roles completely straight. There’s camp in The Warrior, sure, but never deliberately so, and Prima always maintains a seriousness which means that you can laugh at a fair few things in the film, but not at him.

So where is Prima now? Well, according to the Mondo Macabro release which brought this remastered Warrior to modern audiences and also according to IMDb, he’s recently been back in front of the camera after a decades-long hiatus. He seems to have moved away from the freedom-fighting and into light comedy, but that’s by-the-by; it’s still good to hear that he’s still around and still making movies. And, hey, there’s only so much mass Dutch death you can perpetrate…

An epic film and a love-letter from Indonesia’s gloriously lurid film heyday, The Warrior has to be seen to be believed. On a sadder note, Indonesia’s political situation in recent years has meant a real downturn in their film industry, and current censorship laws would probably prohibit something as OTT as The Warrior being made today – see this film, then, and be grateful that Rapi Films did what they did when they could.

Warrior Week: The Days of High Adventure… 30 Years of Conan on Film


by Ben Bussey

Between the time when the ocean drank Atlantis and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of… a time when there was a conspicuous lack of movies featuring muscle-bound swordsmen doing battle with hideous monsters and black-hearted warlocks whilst quivering, nubile, near-enough butt naked women gripped feverishly at their calves. Then on May 14th 1982, Conan the Barbarian was unleashed on American cinemagoers, and things changed. It is in honour of the thirtieth anniversary of John Milius’s film that we declare this the first day of Warrior Week at Brutal As Hell, in which we will pay tribute to all manner of sword-swinging, limb-lopping, manly-smelling action adventure bloodfests. And what better way to kick things off than a look back at the big screen history of Conan?

We should get one thing out of the way first, however: I must confess to knowing very little of Conan beyond the films. To date I’ve read but a few of the 21 stories written by Robert E. Howard, and none of the later stories by Bjorn Nyborg and L. Sprague de Camp. I’ve heard murmurings that none of the films to date really get to the heart of the character as conceived by Howard, much as how few, if any, of the Bond movies reflected Ian Fleming’s creation until Casino Royale. This is a valid question, but it’s neither here nor there for my purposes. I suspect the filmmakers behind the Conan movies were ultimately less concerned with capturing the spirit of Howard than that of Frank Frazetta, whose justly famed paintings adorned the Conan paperback covers, luring many a casual bookshop browser with their grandiose blend of horror, musculature and sex appeal. These were very much the same visceral thrills offered by the film which kickstarted the sword and sorcery craze of the 80s, and launched the career of one of the most – how to put it diplomatically – singular Hollywood stars of the last three decades…

Conan the Barbarian (1982)

In a nutshell: when a Cimmerian village is devastated by an attack from an enigmatic horde, the young and newly orphaned Conan is sold into slavery. However, the arduous task he is assigned – pushing a massive heavy wheel for some untold purpose – proves better than a gym membership and a shit-ton of steroids, as after some years of it Conan grows into an absurdly big and beefy man (Arnold Schwarzenegger, of course). From here he’s sold or part-exchanged from the wheel-pushing trade to the gladiator industry, where he proves a dab hand at battering other big beefy men to death. Samurai sword school follows, which of course he also takes to like a duck to water. Before long Conan finds himself a free man, and there is only one thing on his mind; to hunt down the evil buggers who wiped out his people, and introduce them to the pointy end of his sword. And if he has to shag the odd witch, skewer a giant snake and spill a few gallons of blood in the process, then by Crom, that’s what he’ll do.

Impressions: I recall being less than taken with Milius’s film when I first saw it as a teenager. It all struck me as utterly pompous, overblown, overlong, and taking itself far too seriously whilst seeming to have no sense of its own inherent absurdity. Just goes to show, sometimes you don’t know shit when you’re young. To complain that both the movie and its leading man are impossible to take seriously or relate to on a real, human level is to completely miss the point. This is arch melodrama, played out on an epic scale, with suitably epic performers; nuance and subtlety is not the name of the game. And sure, it’s outwardly played straight for the most part, but there’s certainly no shortage of understated wit here. Schwarzenegger’s deadpan delivery came to be his trademark, and while he doesn’t quite have it down to a ‘T’ yet it’s still in evidence. And please don’t tell me we’re not supposed to bark with laughter when, whilst crucified and being pecked at by a vulture, he bites the fucking bird in the neck.

Of course, given that I have of late been musing on the problematic relationship between film and politics, I feel duty-bound to address the political overtones of Conan the Barbarian that have long troubled critics; specifically, there are those who condemn the film as an endorsement of fascism. Now, there is plenty here that runs contrary to my leftie pacifist leanings, but even I think it’s a bit of a stretch to call it a pro-fascist film. Many, I suspect, have haphazardly classed it as such immediately thanks to the opening quote from Nietzsche – that old, “that which does not kill us makes us stronger” chestnut – based on the common misconception that Nietzsche created Nazism. Yes, Nazis were influenced by Nietzsche, but so too were Anarchists, and in many respects Conan the Barbarian has stronger echoes of the latter philosophy, emphasising as it does that its liberated hero lives a free life without masters. In contrast with Conan’s free will and steely resolve, witness the disciples of Thulsa Doom (an agreeably Shakespearean James Earl Jones), portrayed as deluded fools who have given up all individuality under the thrall of hypocrites and charlatans, in what feels very much like a thinly veiled stab at guru-worshipping, soul-searching hippy culture. Conan’s stance would appear to be that a free life must be defended by force, and to lower your defences is the greatest folly; unsurprising, given that his father instructed him to trust only his sword.

But once again – being against violence in real life does not mean you have to abandon the fantasy of crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, hearing the lamentations of their women and all that jive. Conan’s the kind of man that all men daydream about being from time to time; a take-no-shit, take-no-prisoners type who does what he wants when he wants with whoever he wants, and dismembers anyone who tries to keep him from doing so. On top of which, I daresay all men from time to time wish they were built like Arnie, particularly as he is here with his pro-bodybuilding days not long behind him. As hard as it may be to believe, he actually slimmed down quite a bit for this film, to make him more physically suited to the athletic requirements of the role. While he doesn’t actually spend the duration of the film wearing nothing more than a loincloth (as he would in the sequel), his imposing physique is unavoidable, sending every male viewer into fits of inadequacy that invariably result in a few press-ups on the living room rug and a pledge to start a proper exercise regimen the next day. No, I don’t believe that’s just me…

However, if Arnie looking uber-buff was all it took for a movie to achieve instant cult status and inspire a slew of imitators, then we could just as easily be talking about Hercules in New York right now. To at least scratch the surface of the enduring appeal of Conan the Barbarian, we have to mention Ron Cobb’s beautiful sets, Basil Poledouris’s rousing score, and of course writer-director John Milius. His ear for a memorable turn of phrase, long since proven by such writing credits as Jaws and Apocalypse Now, really gives the film its teeth. From Mako’s gripping narration (note the opening speech delivered over a plain black screen, which surely inspired the prologue of the first Lord of the Rings), to Arnie’s unforgettable first line, to Sandahl Bergman’s militant declaration of love: “all the gods, they cannot sever us; if I were dead, and you still fighting for life, I’d come back from the darkness, back from the pit of Hell to fight at your side.” Sigh… and the most us boys usually get to hear is, “it’s not you, it’s me.” Yes, on that note, Sandahl Bergman (pictured above) is hypnotic as Valeria; not only does she brandish a blade and put boot to arse just as capably as Arnie, but she’s far more comfortable delivering that kind of colourful dialogue. No, she doesn’t take the spotlight as much as the Austrian Oak, but she’s every bit as pivotal to the film, and it’s a crying shame she didn’t go on to greater success as a leading lady. (Keep an eye out, though, as this is not the last time we’ll touch on Ms Bergman in Warrior Week...)

Significant addition to the Schwarzenegger repertoire – Arnie’s sex face. This is actually one of the few films in which the future Governator has sex scenes, apparently as he found them uncomfortable. One instance of the art clearly not reflecting the artist, I suppose…

 

Conan the Destroyer (1984)

In a nutshell: evil Queen Taramis (Sarah Douglas from Superman 2) asks Conan to go on a quest to steal some magic jewel thing. He does. She double crosses him. Fighting ensues.

Impressions: first of all, is it just me or does Arnie look strangely like Jason Mewes in the still above? “Noinch, noinch, noinch, schmokin’ weed, schmokin’ weed, crushin’ enemies, drivin’ ‘em before you, hearin’ the lamentations of the bitches…” Anyway, it seems my younger self wasn’t the only one concerned that Conan the Barbarian had taken itself a bit too seriously. Much as how the second Mission: Impossible movie was deliberately dumbed down after criticisms that first film was hard to follow, this sequel abandons the more sombre, operatic tone of Conan the Barbarian in favour of Saturday matinee theatrics. The result is a film that’s fairly good fun, but in no way, shape or form a worthy successor to Conan the Barbarian.

It’s perhaps inevitable that Conan the Destroyer (not the most appropriate title, given how mild the action is) feels closer to a 50s/60s B-movie than an 80s action-fest, seeing that Milius’s vacant director’s chair is filled by Richard Fleischer, the man behind such time-honoured classics as 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Fantastic Voyage, and one of the all-time greatest adventure movies, The Vikings. His approach here is considerably more workmanlike and surface-based than his predecessor. Where Milius aimed for a certain verisimilitude, eschewing the excessively fantastical, Fleischer seems determined to make things as over the top as possible. Perhaps most notably, whilst Conan the Barbarian sported a relatively slimmed down Arnie, Fleischer actually instructed Arnie to put weight on for his role here, making him more ridiculously pneumatic than ever. As may be reflected by the presence of Conan comic writers Roy Thomas and Gerry Conway on script duties (though their draft was rewritten, to their displeasure), Conan the Destroyer seems intended as a live-action comic book, rather than a timeless myth. Nothing wrong with that per se, but the real crux of the problem is that the producers caved to pressure for a more family friendly film. Net result: sex is completely out of the picture, violence is turned down several notches, and goofy humour is shoved in to fill the void.

Really, beyond the name of the character and the presence of Arnie and Mako, there’s very little here to relate the film to the original. Sure, there are a great many sequels in which this is the case, but it really stings here as there’s no avoiding the sense that the character and his universe have been severely short-changed. In the retrospective documentary on the first film’s DVD, Oliver Stone laments that at least a dozen Conan films should have been made, a new film every few years, James Bond style, paving the way to the grand, final story of Conan becoming a king. While references are made here to the big C’s prophesied future, as well as to his lost love Valeria (sorry Grace Jones and Olivia D’Abo, you don’t come close to filling Sandahl’s sandals), these moments feel very tacked-on; they’re feeble attempts to create a sense of continuity that simply isn’t there. Take also the use of music from the original’s temple orgy sequence in the climactic sacrifice scene, which makes no real sense given the absence of any connection between Thulsa Doom’s cult and Queen Taramis; it might be intended to give the impression of an organic link between the films, but it feels like laziness, using what was already available because it was easier to do so.

Still, if you don’t have too great a connection to the first film and enjoy a bit of silliness, Conan the Destroyer is still perfectly passable as a simple sword and sorcery adventure. There’s very little plot to follow, and plenty of cartoonish action along the way, with plenty of magic and monsters, all realised in a simplistic fashion. Apparently Andre the Giant fills one of the rubber suits in question.

Significant addition to the Schwarzenegger repertoire – Arnie’s drunk face. Conan the Destroyer has one of the all-time worst drunk scenes ever put to film: “The promise I was kingdommed!” “Lot on your knife!” Crom almighty… even Martin Lawrence on ecstasy in Bad Boys 2 wasn’t as embarrassingly awful as this.

 

Red Sonja (1985)

In a nutshell: not unlike young Conan, Sonja (Brigitte Nielson) is the sole survivor of a raid on her village. Not that she gets off too lightly, as she is gang-raped and left for dead. Visited by a goddess – or, if you prefer, suffering delusions in her near-death state – Sonja is imbued with the strength to fight back, and vows never to let another man touch her unless he can best her in combat. Off she goes to learn the way of the sword. Years later, her sister Varna (Janet Agren – okay, so I guess that means Sonja wasn’t the sole survivor) is a priestess in a temple that guards a magic talisman with the power to destroy the world. The power hungry Queen Gedren (Sandahl Bergman) – who, funnily enough, was responsible for the attack on Sonja’s village, and tried to have her own wicked way with Sonja – ambushes the temple, steals the talisman and takes it back to her kingdom. Mortally wounded, Varna heads off to seek Sonja’s help. Along the way she meets Kalidor (Arnie), a big muscular long-haired sword-swinging type (sound familiar…?) who locates Sonja for her. So begins Sonja’s journey to Gedren’s kingdom, where she will battle to both save the world and avenge herself against the bitch that wronged her.

Impressions: Okay, so officially this isn’t a Conan film. Despite featuring another Robert E. Howard creation and being made by the same team behind the existing Conan films, rights issues prevented the old Cimmerian appearing here as had originally been intended. However, much as the Godzilla of the 1998 US version is known by daikaiju purists as GINO (Godzilla In Name Only), we might very well refer to Kalidor as CIABN (Conan In All But Name)… okay, I’m not holding my breath for that to catch on…

Apparently Arnie calls this the worst film he ever made, but I have to disagree. While I’m sure this is partly down to sentimental attachment – I have fond memories of seeing it as a child – I do find Red Sonja much more satisfying than Conan the Destroyer, and certainly a more competent effort from returning director Richard Fleischer. I suppose as the narrative is that bit further removed from Conan, it makes it easier to forgive the film’s failings, of which there are of course many. Perhaps the biggest complaint for the contemporary fan is how little the title character resembles that of the comics. Far from the ruthless thief and mercenary of the comics, here she’s tough but sensitive, not to mention a bit prim and proper; witness how she lectures the obnoxious boy prince on minding his manners. Of course, it’s not just her persona but her look that has been tampered with. There can be little debate that the character’s enduring popularity is based in no small part on her sex appeal, and that’s rather lacking here, for not only is the iconic chain mail bikini ditched in favour of a rather more modest and less distinctive red cloak/leather onesie combo, but also the person filling that outfit is – well – Brigitte Nielson. Now, I don’t mean to seem shallow or insensitive, but while Brigitte Nielson may be many things… sexy just ain’t one of them. Or is that just me?

Of course, provided we can get our male chauvinist arses past that, there’s plenty to enjoy about her performance and the movie overall. Apparently our beloved Sandahl Bergman was the first choice for the lead, but she decided she wanted to mix things up and play the big bad Queen Gedren instead, which she does to amusingly pantomime effect. (As Gedren is a lesbian whose hatred of Sonja is rooted in having her advances spurned, some critics condemned the film as homophobic. I can see their point, but this is a very small, underemphasised plot detail; much as is the sexual nature of Sonja’s assault in the prologue.) Sure, it would have been a pleasure to see Bergman in the lead – especially if the chain mail bikini had been reinstated – but while Nielson may not be the foxier of the two actresses, she certainly holds her own as a warrior woman, leaving the viewer in no doubt that she’d kill you as soon as look at you. On top of which, having Arnie share scenes with someone whose accent is just as thickly European as his own makes for a refreshing change, and in a way boosts the sense of Norse myth about the whole enterprise. Not unlike Conan the Destroyer, it’s all annoyingly family-friendly and about as intellectually enriching as doing the Macarena in a bath of warm cheese, but there’s a certain perverse pleasure to be taken nonetheless. It’s just a bit sad that it wound up marking the last time the Hyborian Age would grace the big screen for just over twenty five years.

Significant addition to the Schwarzenegger repertoire – Arnie’s “someone’s sneaking up behind me” face.

Supplemental: Arnie’s horny face.

And on a side note: Brigitte Nielson’s utterly bugnuts insane face.

 

Conan the Barbarian (2011)

In a nutshell: once again, young Conan is the sole survivor when his Cimmerian village is attacked. However, this time his dad’s Ron Perlman, and the attack is not led by Thulsa Doom but Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang of Avatar), who’s looking for the pieces of a magic mask that will make him (drum roll please) all-powerful. Years later, the fully-grown Conan (Jason Momoa) roams free, loving and slaying his way across the land, but still searching for his revenge. He gets his chance when he crosses paths with vestal virgin-type Tamara (Rachel Nichols) whom Zym needs as a sacrifice to gain his (another drum roll) all-powerfulness. Before our tale is over, Conan will see to it that both Zym and Tamara meet the receiving end of his respective weapons…

Impressions: now here’s something that will be hard for me to confess… it’s a Marcus Nispel film that I actually quite like. Yes, I am currently flogging myself, much in the manner of Paul Bettany in the Da Vinci Code. The thing is, Nispel’s excessively glossy visual style and penchant for low humour, which so soured his Chainsaw and Friday the 13th remakes, are actually far more suited to this kind of rip-roaring adventure. Happily, all concerned saw better than to reign things in for PG-13; there’s a lot of full-on, head-smashing violence here, with as much emphasis on suffering and degradation as many a contemporary torture horror: witness our hero force-feeding a gaoler his own master key, then handing a knife to his prisoners so they can carve their way to freedom. To my mind, this film carries one of the more surprising 15 certificates the BBFC has given out of late.

I think a great deal of my affection for Conan 2011 comes from my complete lack of expectations beforehand; it’s not that the film is especially great, just that it could have been so much worse. As I said, I flat-out hated everything I’d seen from Nispel up to then, and as for the new Cimmerian Jason Momoa, at that point I only knew him from what little I’d seen of Stargate Atlantis, where he didn’t make much of an impression (I’m only just getting on the Game of Thrones train), but he was clearly the sensible choice given the competition for the role: the other two contenders were Kellan Lutz and Jared Padelecki, for Crom’s sake. However, Momoa proved to be something more than the best of a bad bunch; he was, I think, absolutely the best actor they could have cast right now. Not only does he score points for being ever-so big and buff, but he’s also smart enough not to emulate Arnie; if Superman Returns taught us anything, it’s that no matter how iconic their predecessor may have been, a new actor must be allowed to make a role their own. And boy, does Momoa make the role his own. It doesn’t quite reach Jack Sparrow-ish levels of theatricality, but this is one of the most unhinged, eccentric heroes I’ve seen in a major motion picture for quite some time, as the muscle-bound, gravel-throated actor proceeds to grunt, gurn, scowl and bark his way through every minute of his screentime, all the while clad in what looks suspiciously like a dress.

Momoa comes off like a kid in a candy shop in the role, and it’s an infectious spirit that goes some way to helping one overlook the film’s many little problems. For starters, it could have done without the half-hour prologue, and would have benefited from a more interesting story and better supporting performances: Nichols is just a bit bland, Lang and Perlman are doing it by the numbers, and Rose McGowan seems to be in a different film altogether (though not her would-be Red Sonja, of course). Still, when push comes to shove, Conan 2011 remains great fun. We don’t get enough fantasy films on this scale and budget that are unrepentantly family un-friendly, with plenty of gore and nudity to go along with the special effects. Alas, given how badly this film did at the box office, it may be a while before we see any more of this ilk; its underperformance seems likely to have scuppered any further Conan movies with Momoa, and from the looks of things may also have put the kibosh on the latest proposed Red Sonja reboot which might have seen Amber Heard don the chain mail bikini. To which I must say CROM-DAMMIT. (Still, there’s some comfort knowing Robert Rodriguez’s live-action Fire and Ice remake is also said to be on the horizon.)

Significant addition to the Schwarzenegger repertoire: Arnie’s “wait a minute, I’m not Arnie” face.

So there we have it. There’s been a cartoon, a live-action TV show and some video games, but otherwise this is it for Conan and the Hyborian Age on screen to date. And while it’s been fun, I truly hope these four films don’t wind up being Conan’s last, for while the original clearly remains the strongest so far, I get the feeling we’ve still yet to see a truly definitive cinematic outing for the great Cimmerian. There are without doubt many more Conan stories to tell, both written and unwritten; and we can but hope that, as the first film promised, those stories shall also be told…

Satanic Cinema Week: Retro Book Review – The Satanic Screen by Nikolas Shreck

Review by Keri O’Shea

Since cinema’s earliest inception, the presence of the Devil has been ubiquitous – whether Old Scratch appears as a monstrous entity or a cunning outsider, a gentleman magician or a horned miscreant, the silver screen has never been long without him. That is the central thesis of author Nikolas Schreck’s far-reaching (though intentionally not encyclopaedic) study of Satan on celluloid – and, as Schreck notes, considering the close relationship between the Devil and this particular offshoot of the arts, it’s strange that so little had been specifically written on this subject before Schreck did the job. Nikolas Schreck, himself a contentious and well-known figure in modern Satanism (located as he is on one side of a bitter schism from the Church of Satan founded by his wife’s late father, Anton LaVey), has crafted a very educational and interesting book here, travelling at a good pace through an abundance of material and examining along the way anything which intrigues him, be it grindhouse or arthouse. In fact, many of his detractors may just be kicking themselves that this book is as good as it is.

The book begins with the birth of cinema, making the point that the phantasmagoria shows which preceded film were themselves seen as a kind of magic by many; this link between sorcery and cinema was established further by the work of stage magician Georges Méliès, who brought a rendition of the Devil to the screen in a puff of smoke as early as 1896. As soon as the magic of cinema was in operation, black magic was right there with it. As the Silent Era progressed, with its numerous interpretations of the Faust legend, its homunculi and its magicians, Schreck observes that a difference sprang up between European (mainly German) and American cinema; whilst Europe featured Satanic deal makers, America stuck more to using Satan as a way of frightening people into behaving. Special mention is given to the still-remarkable Häxan (1921) and, divertingly, Schreck also picks up on the genuine occult significance of certain scenes in arguably the best known of the proto-horror movies, Nosferatu, thanks to the involvement of one Albin Grau, former Ordo Templi Orientis member and correspondent of Aleister Crowley.

Moving into the 1930s and 40s, Schreck identifies some notable movies in the Satanic tradition and, returning to Crowley, arguably the world’s most famous magician, notes the strange ways in which Crowley influenced film both within his own lifetime and beyond it. For instance, practitioner of the dark arts, Dr. Praetorius of The Bride of Frankenstein (1935), was played with aplomb by another English eccentric, Ernest Thesiger – who was, you’ve guessed it, an associate of Crowley’s. Although Crowley wasn’t a Satanist by any stretch of the imagination, ‘Great Beast’ moniker or otherwise, it’s interesting to see the ways in which a prominent occult scholar such as Crowley could have an important trickle-down effect into cinema – and it’s a point which only reiterates the connection between magic and the movies. Want a less heavy example of that connection? Look at the Satan – or Chernabog, a Slavic deity, by his proper name – who appears during the animated film Fantasia and the ‘Night on Bald Mountain’ sequence by a certain renowned corporation…remind you of anyone? Schreck posits that it was Bela Lugosi who chiefly influenced Chernabog’s appearance…

As the 1950s laboured under the weight of Communist paranoia – with its cinema reflecting this particular fear in its depictions of aliens, or worse, people who looked like us, talked like us, but were Other and mindless – Schreck highlights the beginnings of the career of occult filmmaker Kenneth Anger, a figure who strove to merge genuine ritual with cinema through his sparse, but nonetheless important filmography. The 1960s, with its widespread occult revival, provided far more fertile ground for on-screen devilry, and Schreck’s obvious admiration for Barbara Steele’s performance in Mario Bava’s Black Sunday holds up this film in particular as a shining example of the cinematic expression of this revival. No arguments from me there, or for the praise heaped upon Night of the Eagle and Masque of the Red Death. What Schreck is well-placed to offer here is a keen insider’s eye: the occult movement during the decade was unprecedented, and needs some unpicking to really get to the bottom of why and how it fed into the cinema of the period. Of course, no discussion of 60s occult cinema would be complete without mention of Rosemary’s Baby, a film which acted as a real game-changer, and one which is still influential in the following century.

Rosemary’s legacy stretched on into the 1970s, but now alongside a conservative Christian subtext, most notably within films such as The Exorcist (which gets a deserved beating here) and The Omen. Schreck’s opinions on post-1960s cinema reflect the fact that he sees an unmistakeable dumbing-down in culture in recent years, so the enthusiasm and anecdotal asides which punctuated the earlier chapters of the book become fewer and further between; you can almost hear a sigh of disappointment at the beginning of the final three chapters, which cover the 70s, 80s and 90s. His castigation of Messrs. Lucas and Spielberg, who of course first ventured into filmmaking during this time, for their “safe, unchallenging fantasies of Manichean simplicity” may chafe with film fans who harbour nostalgic impulses towards films such as Star Wars, but his assertion that they promote “a dreary twelve-year-old boy’s vision of the universe where machines are neat, girls are icky, and everything moves really fast and explodes” is certainly a sharp piece of bravura. It’s not all (a lack of) doom and gloom, though. Before signing off, Schreck praises Kenneth Anger’s Lucifer Rising, Hellraiser (“one of the first significant fictional occult worlds since H.P. Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos”) and The Ninth Gate, amongst a small number of others, as examples of Satanic filmmaking of significance, even in decades he regards as otherwise rather dry.

It covers a wealth of material spanning approximately one hundred years, but The Satanic Screen is heavily imbued with the decidedness and keenness of a firm film fan. Although it is more studied than conversational in tone, there’s plenty of humour throughout, and that Schreck takes pleasure in playing with language is apparent, as he coins terms and expressions such as ‘Hollywooden’, ‘first cloven steps’, ‘Mephistomania’, ‘Poe-pourri’ and, Heaven forfend, ‘loquacious labia’. As a guide to Sinister cinema, it has to be said – this book really is second to none.

However, agreeing or disagreeing with Schreck’s spin on the films he covers is one thing. Where his enthusiasm wanes, you may differ, but you can be sure that he will honestly describe his issues with the films in question, and you can then take his points on board, or not, as you decide. Less honest is how he deals with his schism with the Church of Satan, a subject which crops up in particular during his discussion of Rosemary’s Baby. Church of Satan founder Anton LaVey always asserted that he appeared in a cameo role as the Devil in this film, and Schreck spends some time scathingly asserting the opposite. That Schreck had personal dealings with LaVey, to say the least, is not mentioned at all during this diatribe – making it the elephant in the room here, because most people aware of Schreck’s name will know of his erstwhile involvement with the Church of Satan, and although his silence on this score doesn’t make his point regarding Rosemary’s Baby untrue (I personally doubt that LaVey did appear in Rosemary’s Baby, for what’s it’s worth), it does makes him appear disingenuous. Showing his hand would have done him no harm here. In fact, registering that personal animosity more openly – without turning the book into a saga, of course – would have helped to explain why Schreck sneers at LaVey for certain things (such as having had a distinctly middle-class following, for example, or for treating Satanism as ‘showbiz’) which he doesn’t criticise at all when it’s equally true of others whom he discusses in positive terms; Méliès, for instance, is described as using ‘novelty and razzle dazzle’, something which Schreck seemingly admires in him, but detests in his late unfather-in-law. These instances come across as pockets of unreason, in an otherwise carefully-reasoned piece of work.

This is one weak link in an otherwise engaging, well-argued and well-structured book, I must stress, and I absolutely still recommend The Satanic Screen. Those interested in magic will find numerous nods to the true nature of the left hand path; those whose interest is purely that of film buff will find a meticulously-researched compendium of films well-known and lesser-known – though it is too witty to be a pure reference guide. If nothing else, though, your wish list will double in size after reading, so this is a book well worth seeking out.

Satanic Cinema Week: 'Data Incomplete – Human Blood Required'! Revisiting Evilspeak (1981)

by Keri O’Shea

Nothing, absolutely nothing, will make you want to see a film more than being told you can’t. This is a maxim which holds true now (some filmmakers seem to actively court the type of controversy which will get their film banned) and, back in the pre-DVD days, before you could spend five minutes browsing Amazon for all your grisly and perverse needs, it was the driving force behind the appeal of a hell of a lot of films. You only have to think about the Video Nasties legislation – of which this particular film fell foul – to realise that many of the films on the list would have sunk without trace had people not wanted to track them down to see what all the fuss was about. Rather later than the Video Nasties furore, though, a teenage girl growing up in a small town in the back of beyond got told about a friend of a friend who had a copy of a horror video that she needed to see…a film where a kid summons the Devil…

That film was Evilspeak, and I revisited it for the first time since around 1993 just the other day. What a difference nearly twenty years makes (and have I really been alive that long?) Stripped of the veneer of being a banned ’18’ film passed onto me by a suitably dodgy individual, it was a lot easier to see what was wrong with Evilspeak – namely, not very much happens for the bulk of the film, and the intriguing promise of the Esteban story doesn’t get developed as fully as I would like. But you know what? I still really enjoyed watching it again. Evilspeak is a quirky little movie with some refreshing ideas, most notably the notion of splicing up-to-date technology with ancient magic.

So many of these movies take fantastic set-ups to do one thing, though: let the little guy get revenge on the evil jock bastards who have made his life a living hell. Whatever supernatural being permits this, the fact that it keeps on cropping up as a theme is a seriously worrying indictment of the American school system: America, rein in your sports goons! Anyway, Stanley Coopersmith, played by Gentle Ben child actor Clint Howard, is one of the little guys – doing his utmost to succeed in the military academy he attends, and absolutely failing. Teachers and students alike seem to have a hard time with him, while Coopersmith has a hard time doing just about anything – arriving on time, not falling over, not fucking up on the sports field…the only thing he seems to enjoy is using his uber-clunky and old school (to us) home computer. So, he doesn’t make life very easy for himself, but then it’s ever likely he would have had a tough time anyway. Military Academies are not known for their tolerance, after all, and fallibility is not a desired characteristic. Put on cellar cleaning detail (!) for a transgression one day, Coopersmith finds a stash of occult paraphernalia, including a grimoire, which had belonged to the daemonic Esteban we see getting up to nefarious deeds at the start of the film, in a period sequence which more than holds its own with other period representations of cults on-screen. Hmm…so could the Devil be the answer to Coopersmith’s woes? Coopersmith begins inputting what he reads in the grimoire into his computer – where it seemingly takes on a life if its own. Dark forces are at work, and Coopersmith, pledging himself to Satan, is now their agent…

Considering that, now the internet is completely ubiquitous and held up by some as proof that society is going to hell in a handbasket, it is interesting to see this idea of technology = evil being used so long before computers were absolutely everywhere. In the early eighties, computers were only just becoming a familiar sight; the rise of the computer nerd was a relatively new thing, too. Coopersmith may have had a sizeable cohort had he existed in a later decade, but back at the very start of the eighties, things were a bit more clandestine, and the whole set-up must’ve seemed like a sort of necromancy to the uninitiated. It’s just him, his computer – and that mysterious book. The computer is literally transformed into a conduit of evil, complete with brilliantly eighties graphics when the machine starts giving the orders, such as compelling marauding pigs to attack the pesky librarian who tries to interfere in proceedings by trying to prize the precious stones from the grimoire’s cover, for example…

Yes, I did say ‘pigs’. Leaving aside the certainty held during this decade that all a woman had to do to be transformed into a ravishing beauty was to unpin her hair and take her glasses off, if she was wearing any, one of the things Evilspeak is chiefly remembered for is its pig attack scene. Now, I’ll agree: it’s a bloody strange sequence – but a terrible one? I don’t think so. As far as symbolic critters go, you can do worse than pigs. Goats are usually held to represent Satan thanks to their ‘carnal’ natures, but are they really more carnal than pigs? Nope, plus pigs are more intelligent and a fuck of a lot nastier – just ask Miss Friedemeyer, who meets a grisly end (just after a steamy shower, of course), many years before this particular species of animal marauded through the horror genre in a similarly nasty scene in Hannibal, twenty years later. For me, this is another facet of the film where director Eric Weston takes a chance on something rather innovative and manages it just fine. Also, goats wouldn’t have worked, cloven hooves or not…

As for the pay-off at the end of this film, where Coopersmith’s Satanic pretensions pay off, you’ve just got to love it. As I suggested, they make you wait…and wait…for any sort of conclusion, but for the last ten or fifteen minutes of Evilspeak you get a head-rolling, levitating, blood-splattering catharsis sequence which is a lot of fun to watch (and, thanks to the believability of the jock characters, especially after their final outrage against their classmate, you can really relax into hating them enough to enjoy their eventual comeuppance). Coopersmith does deserve his moment of revenge, and if 80% of the film’s budget seems to have been ploughed into one sequence, then so be it – you get your money’s worth. This film boasts one of the most over the top conclusions ever committed to celluloid.

Flawed, yes indeed, but Evilspeak (which was only passed uncut in the UK as recently as 2004) deserves the modest cult following it enjoys, for its imagination and moments of real excess, propped up as they are by decent performances, especially from Howard, who does deliver some real pathos in-between the more zany scenes. As an entrant in the Satansploitation genre, it checks a lot of boxes, and it adds one of its own; we have probably all suspected, at one time or another, that our damn computers are sentient, and Evilspeak is an early expression of that possibility. And, all before the worst CGI outrages found their way into film, as well!

Satanic Cinema Week: Keri's Top 10 On-Screen Devils

As tomorrow is Walpurgisnacht, we at Brutal As Hell decided this would be as good a time as any to celebrate Satan on screen. Kicking things off, here’s an appropriately devilish entry from Keri O’Shea…

The Devil’s relationship with cinema is a lengthy one. As the horrors of Hell have always found their way into art and literature, so the complex figure of Satan has always been at home on the silver screen – a medium which has long enjoyed playing with many of the ideas we associate with Old Scratch. From playful outrage to catastrophe, from the desire for power to the power of desire, Satan’s been a key player all along, and as such, we’ve seen him (or maybe even her) in lots of different guises down through the years. Well, the cloven feet aren’t always appropriate to the event, are they?

In putting together my list of my ten favourite representations of the Devil (and closely-related figures) on screen, I’ve tried to gather together examples which are as different from each other as they are memorable to me: yes, Satan may often be seen as an impresario with a good suit, but we don’t need or want just a cluster of good suits any more than we want a roomful of people with horns. I’ve also put together a fairly eclectic list; when I researched this article, and looked at what other people had made of the topic, I saw the same old faces and films, again and again, Robert de Niro, Al Pacino, and so on, and so on. I hope at least a few of my devils and unholy denizens are new and interesting, without ignoring too many characters who deserve their notoriety. So, without further ado…

10: Viggo Mortensen in The Prophecy (1995)

Biblical beings returning to Earth to effect changes in their own sphere: this has been the basis of a quite a few films through the years, but The Prophecy is an artistic take on this theme with a great cast, including Viggo Mortensen as Lucifer himself. Now, for my purposes here I’ll be conveniently ignoring the finer points of the plot to repeat – Viggo Mortensen. As Lucifer. As a very attractive Lucifer, it’s fair to say, especially when we remember that Satan has always been associated with the pleasures of the flesh. The Prophecy has a great many strengths, to be sure, but bringing a LILF to our screen is something I personally treasure it for.

9: Enrique Rocha in Satánico Pandemonium (1975)

Enrique Rocha’s deliciously camp turn as a Devil in red polyester definitely deserves a mention. His is a performance played with relish and a sense of fun, as he assaults the pious sister Maria at every turn, teasing her and tempting her to relinquish her high morals. A number of entertaining scenes are included to this purpose, such as Lucifer emerging naked from the river where Maria has gone to sit and enjoy the simple pleasures of God’s green earth, and the impish way Lucifer enjoys his (symbolically-loaded) apple, again, to Maria’s horror. People seem to really enjoy playing the Devil, and Enrique Rocha is absolutely one of them.

8: Peter Cook in Bedazzled (1967)

The Devil needn’t arrive intoning serious Biblical lore; in fact, one of the best on-screen Devils usually arrives with a cheery ‘Allo, Stanley!’ before wreaking sly and very funny, if plaintive, chaos on his unassuming charge. The Devil – or, as he walks amongst us by many different names, one of which is George Spiggott – saves the down-and-out Stanley (Dudley Moore) from the suicide he’s decided is the best way out of his miserable, unfulfilling life. Stanley decides to make a go of it instead, with George’s ‘help’: George buys his soul, and gives him seven wishes as compensation. However, every time Stanley uses a wish, George exploits some loophole in what he’s asked for to make poor Stanley all the more miserable. The verbal sparring between these two is a pleasure to watch, and Peter Cook brings one of the most likeable rogues ever to the screen here, all against the lost but ever-charming backdrop of Sixties London.

7: ‘Cernunnos’ [uncredited] in Alucarda (1975)

Before anyone comments to say I’m getting my mythology mixed up, consider the plot of the batshit-insane Mexican nunsploitation flick Alucarda: novice nun with a pathological attraction to dark forces signs a blood pact with a strange hunchbacked gypsy she and friend Justine meet in the woods. As you do. The coven they join with might be trying to raise Cernunnos, the horned god of the forest, but Alucarda keeps calling out to Judeo-Christian entities like Belial, so it’s not me that’s mixing up my mythology per se, it’s writer Juan López Moctezuma, and we wouldn’t have it any other way, now would we? The statuesque horned being which materialises to welcome the new girls and to oversee a nice celebratory orgy obviously has enough in common with depictions of the Devil to be allowed his place here, I reckon, especially as pagan gods have in the past been demonized by jittery religious folk.

6: Siobhan McKenna in Daughter of Darkness (1947)

A little-known film filled with ambiguity and undercurrents of repressed sexuality, Daughter of Darkness introduces us to the at-first gentle and persecuted Emmy, a young woman inexplicably hated for her supposed malign influence on the town’s menfolk by the women of the small Irish village where she lives. Emmy protests her innocence, and seems genuinely afraid of the situation unfolding around her, but the women have their way: the orphan girl is soon sent into service in England, far away from them, and their men. But is she truly as bewildered and innocent as she protests? Before long, we see a subtle darkness to her character. She does seem to have a chaotic effect on the males of our species after all, and we see – though never fully understand, to the film’s credit – the damage she does in her new place of residence. Emmy’s position as a temptation, an unknown force and a threat to order makes her an effective devil’s advocate if not a manifestation of Satan, and Daughter of Darkness manages to explore these themes with a subtlety which is years ahead of its time. The Devil could, indeed, be a woman…

5: Chernabog in Fantasia (1940)

The Disney Corporation, getting a mention on a site like Brutal as Hell? Really? Well, it turns out that many horror fans have a soft spot for their early animated fairy stories – which are themselves full of the sorts of details we’d probably spare overprotected children nowadays – and then of course, the ‘Night on Bald Mountain’ sequence in Fantasia has that fantastic, though brief, appearance from the Slavic ‘dark god’ Chernabog – another example of Old Nick getting mixed up with European pagan deities, but, with his majestic, winged and horned appearance, his skills as a necromancer and having his fun curtailed by church bells, he’s obviously has a great deal in common with Satan. As a child, incidentally, I was bitterly disappointed when he and his cohorts were vanquished by the insipid strains of Ave Maria…

4: Emil Jannings in Faust (1926)

We travel back further still for our next two on-screen devils, first with Murnau’s stand-out exploration of the enduring myth of souls-for-sale in Faust. If ever a film embodied the phrase, ‘the road to Hell is paved with good intentions’ then it is this one, because Faust the alchemist wants to save his village from a deadly pestilence by selling his soul. He wants to help people. Mephisto (Jannings), whose fault the plague is anyway, manipulates Faust, providing him with youth and lust, but always nurturing human misery along the way. It’s a technically-staggering early film with a versatile and conniving antagonist.  

3: Benjamin Christensen in Häxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages (1922)

A staggering ninety years old this year, Häxan is still a breathtaking piece of film. Possibly in part thanks to how early it was made, it plays with structure and format in innovative ways which many filmmakers would avoid even now, but when Christensen made this film, there was very little to tell him how he should do it. Nothing had been set in stone at this stage. He felt free to go for a series of vignettes on the topic of sorcery, spanning from the 14th Century to the society Christensen knew, ostensibly forming a documentary on witchcraft, but with fantastical sequences forming part of it. Could he resist imagining witches’ sabbats on-screen, if this was his subject matter? No, absolutely not, and not only that, but Christensen himself features as the Djævlen (Devil) in his film, having the usual great time doing so. The Devil here is a traditionalist – horned, cloven-hooved, fleshly and insurrectionist.

2: Tihomir Stanic in The Enemy (2011) 

The mysterious man here is certainly not a traditional devil in the sense of how he appears, but in how he behaves – dividing friends, exploiting weaknesses – his character is an interesting interpretation of the Devil. This comes through a stunning, low-key performance from Stanic as Dana, a man whom a group of soldiers find walled into a derelict factory as they perform a sweep of the nearby area at the end of the Bosnian War. They take him back to base, give him shelter but – there is something indefinable and threatening about him. When he talks to the men alone, he sends them into panic, or rage, or self-doubt. He is clever, and elusive, but gradually the soldiers ascertain who he is, but not yet what he can do or what he wants with them. A genuinely novel approach to some age-old themes, The Enemy (or Neprijatelj, to give it its Serbian title) deserves to be seen by far more people than have so far had the chance.

1: Eddie Powell in The Devil Rides Out (1968)

He’s officially uncredited for the part of The Goat of Mendes, otherwise known as Baphomet, in this lurid, clever adaptation of Dennis Wheatley’s novel, but stuntman Eddie Powell is almost certainly the man behind the goat, so to speak, in one of the strongest of the pop-occult movies of the 60s. One of its many strengths (not least the performance of Charles Gray as Mocata, who summoned our horned f(r)iend in the first place) is that it’s a film with some research behind it. The creature being played by Powell – allowing for the fact that the make-up used looks rather dated – is indeed Baphomet, as imagined by famed 19th Century occultist and magician Eliphas Lévi, a man whose influence on the occult revivals which came after his lifetime is not to be underestimated. Baphomet has a long pedigree, going right back to the fall of the Knights Templar in the 1300s. It also has a complex history, embodying anything from early Christian fear of Islam (‘Baphomet’ as a name is thought to stem from the word ‘Mahomet’, an early word for Muhammed) to those ever-balanced Christian perceptions of paganism, taking on various characteristics along the way. Essentially, Baphomet is an icon to fear and misunderstanding which has taken on a life and image of its own, and the team behind The Devil Rides Out were aware of this, using Lévi’s vision of the Goat of Mendes to powerful effect in an excellent film.

 

Festival Report: Brussels International Fantastic Film Festival 2012

Festival Report by Nia Edwards-Behi

This year marks the 30th anniversary of the Brussels International Fantastic Film Festival. The genre giant, as ever, provides a packed schedule of great films, notable guests and plenty of atmosphere. A cornerstone of genre festivals, it’s testament to the festival team that a crowd of die-hard fans can mingle with Joe Public, that young and old have equal opportunity to be entertained, and that all the while a dedication to the genre of fantastic films is evident from those behind the scenes.

I saw a whole bunch of films while I attended the first few days of the festival, but I’d like to start by mentioning the Collectifff project: a collection of short films put together by Belgian directors to celebrate BIFFF’s birthday. They range from the funny (Bowling Killers by Sebastien Petit) to the action-packed (Collector by Sebastien Briedis) to the sexy (Belgian Psycho by Katia Olivier). My favourite of the lot was without a doubt the endearing Happy Birthday Mr. Zombie by David Leclercq, an imaginative little film well worth seeking out. Special mention has to go to Slutterball, by Jérôme Vandewattyne, which really should have thoroughly offended my sensibilities, and yet manages to be a film so demented that it’s an undeniably enjoyable mess. Demonstrated throughout all the Collectifff films was a love for the festival, evidenced indeed by many of films’ use of festival organisers in their casts, or the knowing references made to festival conventions and habits. The Collectifff project was truly and impressive and wonderful way to celebrate BIFFF’s big birthday.

There were two other short films I watched in my time in Brussels, both directed by notable genre favourites: Terry Gilliam’s The Wholly Family and Night Fishing by Park Chan-wook and his brother Park Chan-kyong. Gilliam’s film is adequate at best, demonstrating some painfully wooden acting while offering little new in its whimsy. One or two moments and entertainingly morbid, but ultimately the film is almost instantly forgettable. Night Fishing fares somewhat better, but mostly as an interesting snapshot of a particular culture’s mourning traditions than as a horror film. The most blatantly horrific sequence, which occurs at the start of the film, features Park Chan-wook’s particular brand of dark humour, but this is quickly lost as the rest of the film is taken up with a shamanistic funeral. The film is notable for being shot entirely on an iPhone 4, but, while this is impressive, in the hands of a filmmaker of such calibre it’s no wonder it turned out well.

The range of feature films on offer this year truly reflected BIFFF’s status as a ‘fantastic’ film festival – that is, its rubric is to showcase not only horror films, but fantasy, science-fiction, action and thrillers are all included.

My three favourite films from the festival are vastly different. A devastating, harrowing and utterly compelling film, Kotoko is the latest from Testuo director Shinya Tsukamoto. The legendarily vocal BIFFF audience appeared to detest the film, but it was by far the festival stand out for me. It’s an incredibly slow moving film, but it never felt boring to me. Japanese singer Cocco takes the lead role of a woman who suffers a mental breakdown when her perceptual disorders make raising her child alone unbearable. It’s hard to do it justice, and it’s a film that’s going to take a few more viewings to fully appreciate, but it feels like a perfect, quiet companion piece to Tetsuo, in many respects, and even though it feels overwhelmingly serious, it has its moments of dark humour, like its predecessor. As breath-takingly difficult the film was, I cannot wait to see it again.

Father’s Day is the latest offering from Troma, and boy, does it deliver. Impressively well-made and fantastically irreverent, the film is genuinely funny whilst being incredibly inappropriate. What starts off as a serial killer movie turns into something else entirely, without seeming out of place. The film boasts some strong performances and a wicked soundtrack, and benefits from a truly funny framing device of being a TV show, complete with mid-film ad-break. I absolutely cannot wait to see this film again with a crowd.

Alex de la Iglesia’s new film As Luck Would Have It isn’t remotely a genre piece, but nevertheless, is worth a mention for being absolutely lovely, and one of my favourites from the festival. There’s a sense of whimsy to the film that maybe lends it a degree of fantasy, in the same way that a film like After Hours can be considered as such. The central performance from Jose Mota as Roberto, an out-of-luck advertising executive who tries to make the most out of an unfortunate accident, is gloriously inane and touching, providing a vital heart at the centre of the film.

Two incredibly silly films of varying levels of depth are Iron Sky and Zombie Ass. Both were films I highly anticipated and while one only just met my expectations, the other thoroughly surpassed them. Zombie Ass is as it sounds. It’s the latest Japanese splatter fest and while I found it thoroughly entertaining and, yes, even funny, it’s hardly a good film. It’s clear that Iguchi & co. are truly scraping the barrel (so to speak), and it shows most clearly through the use of a single-location (methinks their budgets are rapidly decreasing) and the almost entirely CGI effects. While Machine Girl and the like were glorious examples of fantastic practical effects, the over-abundance of CGI blood and fluids in these films are now verging on the… well, sad. Iron Sky, on the other hand was significantly cleverer than I expected, and even quite sweet. It’s a film about moon Nazis, and is massively entertaining (and in thoroughly bad taste, at times), but yet, it feels like a film that has something to say. Some great performances really round off what is a truly enjoyable film.

Beast is a completely different, er, beast: all slow and ambiguous and pretentious…so, naturally, I liked it. Reminiscent of a film like Trouble Every Day, I wasn’t ever sure if I was bored, while at the same time captivated. It’s a beautiful film to look at, and it’s central theme of sexual obsession and consumption is fascinating. It’s lead performances are powerful, particularly that of Nicolas Bro, who is, at times, truly repulsive, and yet, never unsympathetic.

The Road is something of an uneven film, but it both managed to scare and move me. Director Yam Laranas constructs and intricate tale, told in three parts, which is part-ghost story, part-police procedural, part-psychological thriller. I particularly enjoyed an early sequence in which three young teenagers are scared silly, and while normally I’d find screaming teens irritating, their behaviour made me think that, actually, that’s probably how I’d react in their situation too. The film’s twist isn’t original, but it unfolds in an entertaining and compelling way.

Two films which probably shouldn’t have been as enjoyable as they were are British kill-a-bunch-of-teenagers film Truth or Dare and the German haunted-room film 205: Room of Fear. Both stick to well-worn formulas, but both have enough charm of their own to remain worth watching. Truth or Dare is full of unlikeable bastard characters, but it also has a nice twist on the ending you might expect which I particularly admired. 205: Room of Fear is refreshingly character driven, and although massively derivative, it has some decent set-pieces to go with compelling if not especially interesting characters.

Sennentuntschi: Curse of the Alps is a film that indulges in being far too long, not least of all through its wholly unnecessary present-day framing device around a film set in the 70s. Otherwise, it’s entertaining enough, particularly as the story it tells is relatively unfamiliar. Roxane Mesquida is particularly fabulous, as ever, even if the film is a little heavy on the men-abusing-women thing.

The Butterfly Room is an entertainingly tongue-in-cheek melodrama, feeling like something of a throwback to those women’s pictures which had a hint of horror to them. The film is most interesting for its cast, though: legendary icon Barbara Steele in the mental lead role, and supporting turns and cameos from the likes of Heather Langenkamp, Erica Leerhsen, Camille Keaton, Adrienne King and P. J. Soles.

Elevator is a film that’s astonishingly static. Yes, things happen, but those things don’t take us anywhere, and give a clear sense of where they’re starting from. An inventive concept, in some ways (group of people stuck in an elevator and someone’s got a bomb!), but any attempts at topicality are rendered somewhat limp due to its damp squib of an ending. Conceptually similar to Panic Button – morally dubious characters learn a lesson in a confined space – the British film does a much better job at making a point.

Another film which reminded me of better work was Game of Werewolves. In fairness to the film, perhaps it’s my lack of a sense of humour that’s the problem here – everyone else I spoke to adored this film, but I can genuinely say it didn’t make me laugh once. It had other things going for it, that is, a strong cast and some good transformation effects, but overall the film bored me to pieces, and reminded me a lot of Faye Jackson’s Strigoi, a film I enjoyed a lot more.

Takashi Shimizu’s second foray into 3D, Tormented, is a good story hidden in a mess of images, unfortunately, and my over-riding impression of the film is that the giant bunny character was really cute – which I suspect was not the intention of the film.

Zombie 108 is the first zombie film to come from Taiwan…and it shows. The film rapidly undoes the good impression of its excellent opening-titles with seizure-inducing editing and over-whelming clichés. It’s those clichés that make Zombie 108 at least watchable, as it is entertaining in a so-bad-it’s-funny sort of way. Zombie 108 feels like a project that has had money thrown at it, with little consideration of nurturing any emergent talent first. The troublingly sexist and mildly racist undertones of the film would only be more worrisome were the film remotely powerful.

Invasion of Alien Bikini was perhaps the most misleading film I saw. Both its title and poster imply a fun, Sushi Typhoon-esque romp, but instead, the film is a 74-minute mess that feels like losing around 3 years of your life. The film spends about 20 minutes on a scene of two characters playing Jenga, before descending into a depiction of forced alien sex, the brutal beating of the alien-woman, and then some bizzaro political subplot…I think? I genuinely am not sure.

Finally, as for Julia X? The less said the better. Just…no. No. NO.

So, after a glut of films in an incredibly sort space of time, I thoroughly need a recovery period of lying very still in a very dark and quiet room. Same again next year? Most definitely. Merci, BIFFF.

 

"What's in the Basket?" Happy 30th Birthday, 'Basket Case!'


by Keri O’Shea

Regular visitors to Brutal as Hell will have noticed that we’ve got a bad case of retrospective fever at the moment; well, what can we say? 1982 in particular was obviously a hell of a year for renegade horror cinema, and we can’t let these milestone birthdays pass us by without celebrating them. It’s incredible really that, in such a short space of time, we get the releases of both The New York Ripper (which Marc has just written about) and, shortly afterwards, Frank Henenlotter’s Basket Case: these are both films which have enjoyed ardent horror fandom ever since, and whilst they’re different in many ways, what we see in both films is a penchant for ramping it up, mixing the absurd with the grisly, whilst providing us with lurid time capsules of New York way back when, something which fans loved then and love now.

But why the early eighties? What was it about this point in time which generated so many of these kinds of movies that have stood the test of time for genre fans? I think to even begin to answer that question, we have to think about what the VHS revolution eventually meant for filmmakers like Fulci and Henenlotter: with the advent of home video on a significant scale, films could enjoy a life which spanned far beyond the usual short theatrical run, and perhaps even more importantly, meant they could hope to reach a new audience, one which would rent these films and then tell their friends, “You have to see this fucking movie!” just because they delivered so much more of everything: more gore, more nudity, more scares. To thrive in the home video market, it wasn’t just okay to use excess on-screen, it was key to a movie’s longevity, and horror filmmakers were working in a time which offered so much potential for on-screen shocks. Those directors whose visions tended towards the deranged anyway could feel secure – at least in the pre-Video Nasties days – that they needn’t rein in their hideous progeny at all.

And yet, New York born-and-bred director Frank Henenlotter has furnished the horror film world with some of the most hideous progeny ever conceived but it seems he was genuinely caught by surprise by the popularity of Basket Case, his first feature (which was actually made during the tail end of the seventies rather than the eighties). Henenlotter assumed the film would just run on 42nd Street for a while with all of the other grindhouse flicks, and hopefully he’d get back some of the cash he’d spent on it. Instead, Basket Case has refused to die: first it ran for years at the theatres, then lived on through home video, and now, thirty years later, its cult following is still intact. Duane and his brother Belial have become part of the modern horror canon, instantly recognisable to fans around the world, and – although the first Basket Case came before Henenlotter had really crystallised his on-screen sense of humour – the body horror-comedy we love him for was born right here. Don’t get me wrong – Basket Case is definitely not played for laughs and laughs alone, but from the literal use of the phrase in the title to the gasp-out-loud appearance of Duane’s deformed formerly-conjoined twin Belial, we have lots of the Henenlotter stylings we’d see again in later films: human flesh under attack, destroyed by lawnmowers, invaded by an Aylmer, blown up by infected crack cocaine, stitched together again, and, right back at the beginning, scratched to pieces by an irate basket-dweller…

So why do we love Basket Case so much? Of course, a huge part of the film’s ongoing appeal is down to the nasty little bastard in the basket…

Belial Bradley is, to put it mildly, a vile piece of work: the film makes us wait thirty minutes for the big reveal of what or whom Duane is talking to, and when we finally see his dear twin brother, it ain’t pretty. The special effects make-up team, headed up by John Caglione Jr., strikes a very fine balance between the ridiculous and the sublime here! Voilà a distorted, adult-sized head, albeit with basically normal facial features (modelled by Kevin Van Hentenryck, who plays Duane), attached to a short, lumpen torso, and not much else: the only limbs are two claw-like hands, and if you can get past Belial’s appearance, then you have to contend with that raspy breathing and screeching (also down to Van Hentenryck). Shouldn’t judge a book by its cover? Belial is also murderous, jealous, petty, controlling, prone to wild tantrums, oh, and not averse to sexual assault either. Nice. It’s pretty obvious that we are not meant to warm to him at first, but perhaps another reason he has stuck in our minds so much is because, like a lot of memorable on-screen monsters, he’s not just a grotesque creature. He has a back-story as well. As we find out how people have treated him during his life, it all gets more complicated. If a person is treated like nothing more than a parasite, removed from their conjoined twin’s body by force and then put out in the garbage to die, would we expect them to be a well-adjusted human being? It’s not as simple as good twin/bad twin, either. We may start out feeling nothing but sorry for Duane, the physically-normal and naïve guy left holding the basket, but he’s not just a victim in all of this: he’s responsible for aiding and abetting his brother’s violence from the start, and obviously agrees with what Belial wants to do, right up until he starts hurting people who have nothing to do with their sad story. There is a moral ambiguity behind Basket Case after all, regardless of the lurid way it is played out. Everyone has an idea of ‘what’s best’ for the brothers Bradley, and the problem of Duane having a ‘normal life’ causes the problems which follow. Belial acts like a shit, but he’s only doing unto others what has been done unto him. And, hey, the fact that he unleashes vengeance on the doctors (and vet!) who cut him and Duane apart against their will allows for some heavy on-screen gore, which is yet another reason Basket Case retains a special place in the hearts of so many…


It’s funny to think that the original distributor decided to cut all the gore scenes out of Basket Case for its earliest release, hoping that it would endear the film to comedy fans rather than gorehounds. Needless to say, they ended up returning that cut footage: it’s only right, considering that Henenlotter dedicated this movie to the one and only Herschell Gordon Lewis, the man renowned for giving us our very first helpings of technicolour gore. Henenlotter, a diehard fan of the type of over-the-top cinema he went on to make, gives us several grisly scenes which are HGL all over. Look out for the deep scratches Belial makes on his victims, and how the camera fixates on the bright red blood-drenched demise of the characters in question before they slowly shuffle off the mortal coil. There’s even a tongue-severing scene, not dissimilar to what we get in Blood Feast (1963), and a couple of nods to The Gore Gore Girls (1972) for good measure. As influences go, HGL is a good one to have. Basket Case feels very much like it’s continuing in that grindhouse horror vein… 

And grindhouse probably owes its very existence to the part of the world where Basket Case was filmed. Just like Fulci did in The New York Ripper, Henenlotter takes us on a tour of the very sleaziest corners of NYC – there are the same fleapit cinemas, the same cheap strip joints – and, again, like The New York Ripper, we are in the interesting position of watching an exploitation movie made and set in Exploitation Cinema Central. One main difference is that this time we have a New York insider using a complete outsider as our point of contact with the city, as Duane (who we think is all on his own at the beginning of the film) tries to get to grips with his first visit to the Big Apple. It’s a big, scary place, and the hotel he finds for himself and his brother at first seems to be filled with crooks who just want to get their hands on that roll of notes Duane so naïvely starts waving around. But it’s not as simple as that: it turns out that the inhabitants of the Hotel Broslin really look out for each other; Casey (Beverly Bonner), the resident tart with a heart, takes Duane under her wing, and then there’s love interest Sharon (one-time actress Terri Susan Smith), who couldn’t be further from the corruption of Drs. Kutter and Needleman – which makes what eventually happens to her all the more appalling, pushing the potential for empathy with Belial as far as humanly possible. People aren’t all bad; Duane knows that, but his brother crosses the line from justified to unjustified violence, and it drives a wedge between them that the surgeons who separated them couldn’t. I don’t think it’s going too far to say that the ending of the film plays out like a grindhouse spin on tragedy, either, especially considering we hear the boys’ aunt reading to them from The Tempest in a flashback scene earlier on in the film (The Tempest boasting its own deranged, deformed character in Caliban). Tongue in cheek maybe, but it’s not a reference which happens just by accident, and it goes to show that there’s more going on beneath surface appearances here. You can take what you want from Basket Case, a little or a lot, hokey creature feature or something a little different, and it has enough there to deliver, all set against the New York streets which Henenlotter knows and loves so well.

For a film made on a minuscule budget, then, Basket Case achieves a hell of a lot. It balances the very nasty with the ludicrous, it tips the hat to the gritty grindhouse fare which inspired it whilst standing on its own as an original piece of film, and – whether it was meant as such or not – it heralds the beginning of the Henenlotter ‘body horror’ genre with its deserved cult following. Whilst Henenlotter hasn’t made a great number of films during his career to date, the ones he does have to his name are instantly recognisable. For them, we must thank the surprise success of Basket Case, with its blend of body shock and 80s culture shock which is still a pleasure to watch, even after thirty years on the circuit. So happy birthday, Bradley brothers! Your place in horror history is well deserved. 

With thanks to Marc from http://www.towatchpile.co.uk/ for helping out a gal who only had a copy of this movie on VHS!

Putting Out Fire With Gasoline: 30 Years of Paul Schrader's 'Cat People'


by Ben Bussey

If you’ll forgive me for using a dirty word in my opening sentence… remake. Yes, yes, I know. In the hotbed of first world problems that is movie fandom, surely no subject is the cause of as much debate in this day and age, as for most of the past decade the internet has been ablaze with accusations of filmmakers raping our childhoods and wantonly slaughtering every available sacred cow. So high do these emotions run that now and again we forget things were not always this way. Back in the good old 80s, a fair number of cherished genre classics were also revisited, in many cases to great effect. Most obvious of these are, of course, The Thing and The Fly, two 50s sci-fi shockers given a contemporary makeover – and, most will agree, significantly improved upon – by John Carpenter and David Cronenberg respectively. Less widely known but still well loved by many is Chuck Russell’s take on The Blob. However, one that doesn’t seem to get the same kind of acknowledgement is the film that celebrates its thirtieth birthday today; Paul Schrader’s remake of the highly regarded Val Lewton/Jacques Tourneur 1942 classic Cat People.

It’s not really too surprising that the Cat People remake isn’t so widely spoken of in fanboy circles. It has a female protagonist, a somewhat abstract tone, and only sporadic moments of gore and creature effects. Not to imply that fanboys are anti-intellectual by nature, but if a film defies easy description and isn’t specifically designed to appeal to young men, it tends to get swept under the carpet; I’ll admit, for that very reason I had pondered whether I should write this retrospective, uncertain as to whether or not the film is of interest to our (wince) core demographic. But the long and short of it is, whether the 1982 Cat People is highly regarded within horror fandom or not – it damn well should be. If remakes must keep being made – and, let’s not delude ourselves, they will – then the filmmakers responsible would do well to consider Schrader’s take on Lewton/Tourneur. It does what all remakes should set out to do: revise the central conceit for a contemporary audience, and make it stand apart as a unique and interesting piece of work in its own right. On top of that, it is a kind of film that is so rarely allowed to get made these days: a genuinely adult fantasy, not simply in the sense that it features lots of sex (though of course it does), but in that it is specifically oriented towards a grown-up audience, reflecting grown-up concerns, rather than the typically adolescent sensibilities that tend to dominate genre films (a comment, not a slur).

I gather Lewton purists tend not to look too kindly upon this remake, and that’s no great shocker. The original is commonly upheld as a masterpiece of subtle psychological horror, in which the monsters remain unseen, and the true nature of proceedings – whether they are indeed supernatural, or simply a symptom of the protagonist’s mental state – is left ambiguous. Many labels can be applied to the American cinema of the 1980s, but subtle is not amongst them. Schrader’s film, working from Alan Ormsby’s script (the first time Schrader worked from a script that was not his own, though I understand he did some uncredited rewrites), leaves us in no doubt whatsoever that our heroine Irena (Nastassja Kinski) and her long-lost brother Paul (Malcolm McDowell) are indeed werecats who transform fully into black leopards after having sex, and may only revert to human form once they have fed on human flesh. And, this again being a product of the 80s, there’s never any doubt that we are going to see the sex, the transformations, and the death, in lingering graphic detail. This includes several gory eviscerations, explicit incestuous advances from McDowell (the cat people can only safely bone their own kin, don’t you know), plus a liberal smattering of BDSM, and frequent full frontal nudity from Ms Kinski. Even in the swimming pool scene – one of the few moments directly recreated from the original – the most notable difference is that this time around Alice (Annette O’Toole) is topless. Broken down this way, the whole enterprise probably sounds as tasteless and puerile as Jan De Bont’s CGI-saturated take on Robert Wise’s The Haunting (Wise himself, of course, having been a protégé of Lewton).

So, should we dismiss Cat People ‘82 as just another Boobs, Beasts and Blood movie, then? Well, no doubt the film would score highly on the Joe Bob Briggs scale, but Humanoids from the Deep this assuredly is not (again, not a slur). Just because this film makes explicit that which was left ambiguous in the original does not mean we are supposed to take any of it on face value. The poster (pictured above) labels it ‘an Erotic Fantasy.’ Let’s focus on the fantasy element for now. It may not mark itself out as so clearly make-believe as, say, Neil Jordan’s nightmarish fantasia The Company of Wolves, with which it does share some thematic territory, but Schrader is not presenting us with a reflection of the real world here. Even within the context of the more ostensibly naturalistic moments in New Orleans, there is much that does not fall within the grounds of reality; for starters, how many zoos have you ever been to where the only barrier between yourself and the animals was the bars, meaning you could literally reach in and touch them if you wanted to? And, for that matter, how many zoos have such awesome big cat sculptures that make the place feel more like a pagan temple than a tourist attraction?


Perhaps it should go without saying that we should not take any of this literally. After all, I rather doubt anyone would interpret the film as trying to warn us of the genuine existence of werecats. It might be warning us, much in the manner of a great many vampire tales, to be wary of getting into bed with strangers; after all, this was the early 80s, and we all know what sexually transmitted disease was rearing its ugly head at the time. For the unfortunate massage parlor employee and blonde funeral mourner who encounter McDowell, the ravenous black leopard released by sex might just as well be AIDS. But as easy as it is to make that connection with any 80s film that juxtaposes the carnal and the terminal, it isn’t casual sex that is the real object of fear in Cat People. Rather, the real monster of the piece, the big bad menace lurking in the shadows threatening all and sundry, is love. This isn’t the warm, fuzzy, liberating love that the 60s wanted to save the world with; this is a crippling, smothering, painful thing that consumes all who fall under its shadow. As soon as it begins to surface between Irena and zoo curator Oliver (John Heard), it is clear things are going to go from bad to worse.

Now let’s consider the other half of that poster tagline; yes, the ‘erotic’ part. I’ve always found erotic a very strange word, perhaps down to how commonly misused it is in application to anything that involves sex; say, all those repetitive Sharon Stone or Shannon Tweed movies which generally present intercourse as a performance sport, the performers on the whole too infatuated with themselves to be particularly appealing to watch (remember Stone and Stallone in The Specialist? Shudder.) There’s a different vibe to Cat People, owing in no small part to the casting. Nastassja Kinski was an inspired choice for Irena; as a European actress not speaking in her native tongue, she is wholly believable as a stranger in a strange land, on top of which her short hair and slender figure lend her a certain androgyny which, while it may clearly flag the film as a product of the gender-bending early 80s, makes her stand out that bit more, particularly by comparison with Annette O’Toole’s softer-bodied, long-haired all-American girl. Also, Kinski’s sharp features and piercing eyes are, appropriately enough, somewhat feline, which doesn’t hurt. Even so, she has an unassuming quality which makes you believe she could be entirely unwitting in attracting the lust of others, and just about convinces you that she could indeed be a virgin. Without wishing to get too Freudian about it all (Schrader left his wife for Kinski during production) the film takes a slow-burn approach, lulling us to gradually fall in love with Kinski; while her naked body is a familiar sight by the end, its first appearance is not until over an hour in.


Meanwhile, casting the very English and very theatrical Malcolm McDowell as Irena’s long lost brother Paul was an interesting move; he too is a natural outsider in New Orleans, yet more comfortable with it, much as he is considerably more at ease with his animal nature. Part of the pleasure in watching Cat People now is recalling the days when McDowell still had an air of danger about him, long before he began sleepwalking his way through the likes of Star Trek: Generations and the Halloween remake. As mannered and unnatural as his performance here is, it’s really quite unnerving; Paul comes across as being largely unconcerned with how people regard him, and leaves the viewer wondering just what he might do next. Once again, there’s a tremendous contrast between the un-American Cat Person and the All-American guy John Heard. Where one is an animal, the other seeks only to contain animals and observe them from a safe distance, leading to the fairly surprising and haunting climax; as previously mentioned, the film takes a less than sunny view of romantic love, which the finale really hammers home. But rest easy thrill seekers, there are more than a few kinky moments before that; after all, if your lover would transform into a carnivorous beast after sex, what choice would you have but to tie her up? If you’re seeing Cat People for the first time, you’ll never be able to look at the dad in Home Alone quite the same way afterwards.


Whilst in the current climate another Cat People remake wouldn’t seem too unlikely, I very much doubt it would look much like this if it was made today, even with the likes of True Blood on our TV screens. Sex and gore might not be a problem, but filmmakers still seem too anxious to spell out the meaning for us in black and white; anything that requires the viewer to do a bit of work, Inception notwithstanding, is a tough sell nowadays. This being so, it’s even harder to believe that the executive producer on Cat People was Jerry Bruckheimer, pioneer of the obvious. Still, while this particular film might not be deliberately dumbed down for the masses, it still wears a heavy veneer of 80s gloss, from the garish colour scheme (note particularly the dusky reds of the savannah dream sequences), to the brooding synth score of Giorgio Moroder. It’s easy now to look upon these flourishes and laugh, dismissing it all as kitsch, but if we can hold that impulse at bay there is a genuinely powerful atmosphere here, not too far removed from early Michael Mann; it’s much the same vibe Nicholas Winding Refn did his utmost to tap into with Drive. And finally, there’s David Bowie’s theme song. For many of us, it’s now hard to hear without thinking of Inglourious Basterds, but it perfectly encapsulates the tone of Cat People: simmering with sexual tension and oblique symbolism, a bizarre and potent blend of the tribal and the metropolitan, just a whisper away from high camp. Much like the song, the film itself is clearly not going to be to all tastes; but if it resonates with you, it may well linger in your memory, coming back to haunt you for reasons you can’t quite explain.

Now, if only a few of the remakes that keep flooding our way year after year could manage to have a similar impact, we’d have a great deal less to complain about. Having said that, Paul Schrader’s Cat People also serves to remind us we shouldn’t always be so bloody precious about what gets remade (yes, I’m addressing myself as much as the reader here). As various sensible souls have tried to remind us, the original film will always be there, so really there’s no sense in getting pissed off; and, yes, the results might sadly follow the lead of Platinum Dunes and wind up as cookie cutter dirge of the worst kind, but if we’re very lucky they just might wind up being genuinely daring, unorthodox films which take the concept, and the viewer, to places they had not previously imagined. I’m not about to hold my breath, but if the filmmakers behind the next wave of remakes (I’m looking in your direction Kimberly Pierce, recently announced director of Carrie) can take a leaf out of Schrader’s book, they’ve got my blessing.

And can you believe I managed to write this whole thing up without a single cheap ‘pussy’ joke…

"Who's Laughing Now?" 25 Years of 'Evil Dead 2'

25th anniversary retrospective by Ben Bussey

As is the norm with these kind of things, beware of spoilers…

March 13th 2012, and it’s another silver jubilee. This time, however, I’m really not sure if I can find the words. This time it’s a film so unique, so unmistakable, that as familiar as it is it’s hard to do it justice verbally. Let’s put it this way: there are a tremendous amount of well-loved movies that fit comfortably into a pre-existing format. Less common but even more beloved are those which break new ground and provide a template for others to follow. But every now and then there are the real one-offs; movies that do something so different and unique that, however influential the results may be, no one ever manages to successfully replicate it. Such is the film that celebrates its twenty-fifth anniversary today.

Another cinematic rarity is the sequel which can truly be said to surpass its original. ‘Serious’ film buffs will insist only The Godfather Part II has done it (though personally I’ve never detected any great shift in quality between that and its predecessor, both of which, if it needs to be said, are excellent). Genre fans, meanwhile, are more likely to cite The Bride of Frankenstein, Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior, and Aliens, all of which expanded significantly on the visions of their predecessors to the extent that many casual viewers tend to forget that they are not the first installments of their respective series. When we think of Mad Max, we’re more likely to picture a grizzled, stubbly, mostly silent Mel Gibson racing through the desert pursued by tribes of motorised loonies in S&M gear, as opposed to the more fresh-faced and talkative city streets policeman of the original. Think of Ripley, and we tend to envisage short-haired Sigourney Weaver in the yellow robotic loader suit spitting, “Get away from her you bitch!” rather than the longer-haired, less aggressive incarnation in Ridley Scott’s earlier film.

And so it is with the man we call Ash. Few seem to remember that in the original Evil Dead, there was very little that set Bruce Campbell apart from the rest of the ensemble. He was bowl-haired, wimpish, and physically unremarkable. He may have picked up a chainsaw once, but he didn’t have the heart to use it. And he most definitely never called anyone “baby,” or described his situation as “groovy.” It was only here, in Evil Dead 2, that the Ash of legend – and as such the persona with which Bruce Campbell will always be identified – was truly forged. And it was here that the same essential premise of The Evil Dead was revisited and fine-tuned into something significantly different and – yes, I’m going to say it – well and truly superior to the first film. This, of course, is a good part of why all us geeks have so long been against the idea of The Evil Dead being remade; because it already has been remade, and the results are damn well exemplary.

A long-standing point of contention about the original Evil Dead, which remake actress Jane Levy recently touched on, to the displeasure of some, is whether or not it is actually meant to be funny. To my mind there is no debate: of course The Evil Dead is humorous, and of course that humour is deliberate. You don’t smash a giggling zombie woman in the head with a plank that many times, then have her decapitated corpse dry-hump Bruce Campbell, and expect people to take it seriously. Of course, not everyone got the joke, as is clear from the film’s well-documented problems with the censors, not least in my own dear old homeland of Blighty. As such, I’ve often pondered that Raimi and Co. took a more blatantly comedic approach with Evil Dead 2 in order to underline that they had been taking the piss in the first place. There’s no chance we can mistake this for a serious film. Every single line of the film is in block capitals, bold type, ending with an exclamation mark. Every sound is turned up to eleven, every colour is garish, and rarely if ever does the camera stand still for longer than a second or two.

Once again, the plot can be surmised on a postage stamp – bad shit happens in a cabin in the woods – and the dominant force is the vision of the director. The first five minutes relay the events of the original in a simplified form; Army of Darkness would later do much the same, making The Evil Dead an interesting case of a film trilogy in which prior knowledge of the films is completely unnecessary (indeed, I first saw the films in reverse order, and I suspect I’m not alone in that). In quick succession, Ash and Linda (Denise Bixler and her figure-hugging T-shirt) drive up to the cabin in the obligatory Oldsmobile (Raimi’s first car, which shows up in almost all his movies); Ash plays the tape that recites the incantations, Linda gets possessed, Ash beheads her and buries her in the woods, then the evil force comes rushing through the woods and hits Ash head-on, and we’re back where the original Evil Dead ended. But the difference between the two films should immediately be evident from what happens next: rather than going splat, Ash goes hurtling through the woods, spinning, bashing his head against every nearby branch, not unlike a Looney Toons character with a rocket strapped to its back. From there it’s not long until he’s back in the cabin doing battle with Linda’s severed head, then coming under attack from her headless, chainsaw-wielding torso; and then, most delightfully of all, struggling with his own hand, which is under Deadite control having been infected by Linda’s bite. If you haven’t got the joke by the time Ash cries, “You bastards! You dirty bastards! Give me back my hand!”…well, you probably never will. And I feel sorry for you.

If there is one scene that provides the cornerstone to the Bruce Campbell legend, it has to be Evil Dead 2’s possessed hand sequence. Sam Raimi’s passion for The Three Stooges, having bobbed under the surface in the original, really bursts through here. Before an over-cranked camera, Campbell literally beats himself up, smashing plates over his head, banging his head against kitchen cabinets, pounding himself in the gut, and literally flipping himself head over heels, until a finally comatose Ash is dragged across the floor by the malevolent appendage in the hopes of finishing its owner off with a nearby meat cleaver. Fortunately, our hero awakens just in time to pin his hand to the floor with a knife, then victoriously hack it off at the wrist with his trusty chainsaw. Not unlike the Black Knight of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Ash is too riddled with bravado to feel pain, laughing triumphantly as his face is sprayed with his own blood. It is, I think, this absence of pain on Ash’s part, and his total lack of concern for leaving himself partially dismembered, that makes the scene so hilariously funny even after multiple viewings. (And if you need reminding, or Cthulhu forbid have never actually seen it, check out the scene at the bottom of this page.)

It is important to note, of course, that all we see is the blood spraying on Ash’s face as the chainsaw bites its way through his wrist, much as how a few scenes earlier, when Ash hacked Linda’s head in half, all we saw were silhouettes, and again the resulting gore spraying all over the place. In the first Evil Dead, these moments would have been on-screen, and the camera would almost certainly have lingered on the viscera. This again highlights the different approach the team were taking with Evil Dead 2; not only does this show how anxious they were to avoid any more trouble with the censors, but also how keen they were to put the stress on the comedic this time around. Red blood, while not exactly absent, is more often than not ditched in favour of the kind of multi-coloured slime they used to drench hapless celebrities with on British Saturday morning kids’ shows back in the good old days. Honestly, it wouldn’t have seemed too out of place if after every blow to the head a flock of tweeting birds appeared out of nowhere to circle Ash’s crown. Be it the flying eyeball that lands directly in Kassie Wesley’s screaming mouth, or a fat-suit clad Ted Raimi looking distinctly unlike an actual old woman as Deadite Henrietta, we are almost constantly being reminded not to take what we are seeing seriously, and simply to revel in the absurdity of it all. Alas, shit tends to stick, and Evil Dead 2 soon enough found itself slapped with an X certificate in the US, and trimmed by a few seconds (shots of Bruce Campbell being kicked in the head, bizarrely) to be passed 18 in the UK; absolutely preposterous measures, which go to show just how petty and spiteful the censors can sometimes be.

This is not to say, however, that Evil Dead 2 is a spoof. Certainly it’s cartoonish, but the film’s real masterstroke is how it maintains an atmosphere that is simultaneously scary and funny, with neither effect working to the detriment of the other. Take the moment when Ash’s own reflection leaps out and grabs him, and the subsequent scene in which everything in the cabin comes to life in hysterical laughter, prompting Ash to join in, laughing until he is clearly on the verge of a breakdown (a moment I can’t help thinking must have influenced Nicolas Cage when he did a similar trick in Face/Off). It’s hilarious, yet it’s really quite unsettling at the same time. Scary films and funny films take us into a similar state of heightened emotion, which I suppose is why the two genres so often overlap, but Evil Dead 2 finds nuances within those strange dizzy heights that few if any other subsequent horror-comedies have reached; not even Army of Darkness or Drag Me to Hell. Nope, not even Shaun of the Dead for that matter.

The other thing that sets Evil Dead 2 apart within the canon of 80s horror is that, by contrast with the slashers that ruled the era, the real central attraction of the film is not the villain but the good guy. As unlikely an idea as it always was, one can see the logic in New Line’s desire to bring Ash into the fold for a sequel to Freddy vs. Jason; after all, how many other truly iconic horror heroes came out of the same time period as Messrs. Voorhees and Kruger? With his chainsaw fixed in place on the stump of his right hand, his shotgun strapped to his back, and his blue work shirt torn to shreds, Ash is every inch the monster-bashing badass. This again is somewhere Evil Dead 2 is able to be all things to all people; as much as Campbell’s performance is a deliberate caricature of the stereotypical action hero, he really does embody an action hero ideal at the same time, thanks in no small part to Campbell’s gym-toned physique (reportedly he was working out for two hours before shooting, then two hours after shooting every day), and – it has to be said – his classic, square-jawed good looks. Yes, I said it. We’re all thinking it anyway, male and female alike, orientation be damned… Bruce Campbell looks damn good in Evil Dead 2. Show me the fanboy who insists he doesn’t get at least a little bit gay for Bruce in Evil Dead 2, and I’ll show you a bullshitter. Why else would so many of us get dressed up like him for Halloween? We know sex appeal when we see it. And it’s always said that women find nothing sexier than a sense of humour, so hey – everyone’s a winner.

So, to the legacy of Evil Dead 2… Army of Darkness has more than its share of fanatics, given that it provided many with their access point to the Evil Dead universe, but for me it’s never quite measured up to its predecessors. By taking the action out of the cabin and into a much larger-scale, higher-production value setting, it lacks that DIY charm, and the oddball humour sits awkwardly with the concessions made to a fairly standard studio blockbuster format; it doesn’t help that the horror elements are significantly pared back. Worse still is how Ash’s characterisation changes between the films. Far from the witless but well-meaning would-be tough guy of Evil Dead 2, in Army of Darkness he’s a mean-spirited, arrogant bastard with whom it’s very hard to empathise. Sure, Army of Darkness provides Ash with many of his most celebrated one-liners – the immortal “Gimme some sugar, baby,” and “This is my boom-stick!” amongst others – but none of them quite measure up to that single, immortal word that is evoked for the first time in Evil Dead 2… “Groovy.” Not for nothing does Bruce Campbell use @GroovyBruce as his Twitter handle. Ash is the phantom that will hang over him for as long as he walks this earth, and while he has enjoyed success outside the role – perhaps most notably with Bubba Ho-Tep, Burn Notice, and of course the Old Spice commercials – Campbell seems quite content to bask in that shadow. Quite right too; giving one of the best physical comedy performances of the late twentieth century in one of the most unique American films of the era sure as shit isn’t something to be ashamed of. Yes, in some respects it’s sad that he was never able to break through to the A-list, but Campbell always gives the impression that he’s quite happy where he is. And let’s face it, he’s thrived within that position; the fact that he’s penned an autobiography, plus a novel with himself as the lead, as well as having directed and starred in a movie in which he plays himself (for which, last we heard, a sequel is in the works) goes some way to illustrate the kind of unique status Bruce Campbell holds in pop culture today. And, as he’d be the first to admit, all of that is down to Ash.

As for Sam Raimi – well, we all know how well he did out of it all: next came Darkman, Army of Darkness, The Quick and the Dead, A Simple Plan, and from there it was just a hop, skip and jump to Spider-Man.  And that’s to say nothing of his extensive credits as a producer for both film and television. Yet for the real fans, I daresay no Raimi project in the past two decades was met with more excitement than his long-awaited return to horror with Drag Me to Hell. I raved about it on release, but in all honesty I’ve had very little desire to revisit Drag Me to Hell since. As fun as it is, the main thought that recurs whilst viewing is how close in spirit it is to Evil Dead 2. Which rather begs the question: why not just watch Evil Dead 2? No offence to Alison Lohman, but she’s nowhere near as compelling a lead as Bruce Campbell, and whilst it may raise a smile to see her scrapping with grizzly old Lorna Raver, it only evokes the spectre of Ash and Henrietta’s punch-up.  In short, by trying to repeat the formula of Evil Dead 2 (much as with Army of Darkness), what Raimi inadvertently succeeded in doing was underlining just how much of a one-off Evil Dead 2 really was, in spite of being the second instalment in a three-film series. This being the case, in some respects it’s not too surprising that he has now opted to take The Evil Dead down the remake route in the hands of another director, rather than giving fans the fourth instalment they’ve long clamoured for. I won’t dwell on the subject here; I’m sure we all know where we stand by now…

Well, isn’t it always the way: I started out thinking I’d struggle to find the words to sum up Evil Dead 2, and I’ve wound up writing way more than I thought I would… yet I still feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface. Once again, there are films we celebrate in the full awareness of how derivative and formulaic they are, and then there are films we celebrate because they truly are among the greatest and most inventive contributions to their genre; indeed, in some instances they practically constitute a genre of their very own. Not only am I proud to proclaim Evil Dead 2 one of my favourite films of all time, but I truly feel it is one of the very best horror and/or comedy films ever made. So let’s raise a glass of blood to wish it the grooviest of twenty-fifth birthdays, and trust that it is every bit as fondly remembered in the decades to come.

And to conclude our Evil Dead 2 celebrations, some very groovy artwork from our very own Keri O’Shea!

Ia! Ia! Lovecraft at the Movies

by Keri O’Shea

“We shall swim out to that brooding reef in the sea and dive down through black abysses to Cyclopean and many columned Y’ha-nthlei, and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory for ever.”

Those of you who are regular visitors to Brutal as Hell might have noticed there’s an impromptu theme brewing… this may be down to my Piscean cohorts, Annie and Ben, but in any case, it seems we’re going heavy on the deranged marine life and fish/human hybrids. And, hey, if we’re going there, then we need to talk Lovecraft.

Howard Phillips Lovecraft, author of some of the most unnerving and disorientating horror literature ever penned, wasn’t himself all that big a fan of the movies, once referring to “the utter and unrelieved hokum of the moving picture.” Hmmm…if he could see the world now, he’d no doubt be unimpressed. Certainly, his work doesn’t lend itself all that comfortably to a straightforward retelling on the screen (although this has been done – and well – more on this anon), but it was inevitable that filmmakers would turn to him for inspiration. HPL’s work has created its own self-perpetuating universe – a dark and horrible place, peopled with the insane, the disfigured and the unknowable – and this place has in its turn fostered remarkable horror movies. And why not?

If there is such a thing as a central message in Lovecraft, it is this: everything we know and recognise is in fact on the precipice of utter chaos and, come to think of it, it turns out that we’re all inconsequential creatures when pitched against these forces. We have no hope of understanding the hows and whys of our situations until it’s far too late. It’s a frightening – and also a thrilling – thought. Personally, I was a latecomer to Lovecraft – I didn’t read any of his stories until I was in my mid-twenties, thus missing out on the formative effects of HPL I’m told of when he’s read by people in their teens – but, fuck, is that not a powerful premise for horror? No wonder people have let their imaginations run riot where Lovecraft is concerned. And of course, if humanity itself is screwed, and everything we know is bullshit, then ditto for any idea of physical integrity. In the Lovecraftian universe, flesh breaks down too. It is our destiny.

In fact, I look a little different lately…are those gills?

Before I backslide down the evolutionary ladder any further, then, let me talk about some of my favourite examples of Lovecraftian horror cinema…there are, of course, many more to choose from, and I’d love to hear about your pick of the bunch too. 

The Beyond (1981)

Whilst it may be one of those movies which takes Lovecraft as a jumping-off point before moving off in its own direction entirely, Lucio Fulci’s The Beyond is a fine imaginative spin on some decidedly Lovecraftian themes. Here, arcane knowledge is (of course) poised to open the gates to Hell itself; the Book of Eibon is an artefact key in all this. Back in the 1920s, a deranged painter named Schweik was lynched by some friendly Louisiana townsfolk for his devilish transgressions – with his death opening the gates of Hell, allowing the dead to cross into our dimension. Years later, a young woman inherits the place of Schweik’s death – The Seven Doors Hotel – and her renovation work opens the portal again. Fulci’s version of the hell which breaks loose is Fulci cinema at its oozing, abhorrent, surreal and strange best, and the interplay between body horror and metaphysical exploration here makes for a remarkable piece of cinema. The fact that this is all refracted through to us through a distinctive Italian Eurohorror vibe definitely works in the film’s favour.

Necronomicon (1994)

This is perhaps not one of the most popular Lovecraft movies out there, and I’ve seen it much maligned, but – I’m very fond of this one, regardless of some of the fair criticism levelled at it. For one thing, any casting decision which places Jeffrey Combs as H.P. Lovecraft himself is onto a winner where I’m concerned, and the film integrates a good actor well-chosen into an interesting framing device, where Lovecraft himself transcribes from the Necronomicon, a book whose malevolent power opens up a portal to somewhere…else. Lovecraft transcribes three stories; thus what we have here is the ‘portmanteau’ format beloved of 60s and 70s horror, giving us three short horror films within one film: ‘The Drowned’ (directed by Brotherhood of the Wolf director Christopher Gans), ‘The Cold’ (directed by kaiju specialist Shusuke Kaneko) and ‘Whispers’ (directed by Brian Yuzna). Of all of these, ‘The Drowned’ is most powerful for me, and does a very good job of capturing that desolation which is as much key to Lovecraft’s prose as the body shock elements. Even if the tone of the rest of the film is too cartoonish for some tastes, you can’t deny that there are some powerful scenes in here, and the directors who were on board bring some interesting things to the table.

Re-Animator (1985)

Here we are, then, with one of the most esteemed and established directors to bring Lovecraft to the screen; Stuart Gordon has consistently gotten a good handle on Lovecraft’s material, and he brings a sort of lunatic energy to proceedings which I’d argue is unparalleled. Re-Animator is one of those projects; though based on a fairly minor HPL tale, the imaginative exploration of ‘Herbert West: Reanimator’ has provided horror viewers with a classic movie and one of the finest body horrors of all time. What holds the film together so well is not just the direction, though: here’s Jeffrey Combs again in arguably his best-known role as Dr. West. In amongst all the chaos and experimentation and syringes full of a certain glowing-green substance, Combs plays his role utterly straight, and Re-Animator works brilliantly because of that. As with many cult cinema performances, the po-faced earnestness of Herbert West carries the film a long way, whereas playing it for laughs would have debased the film’s impact considerably. Also, the physical grotesquerie of this movie? Perfect blend of laugh-out-loud and stomach-turning.

Dagon (2001)

I know that my esteemed colleague and fellow Nordic male-botherer Annie Riordan mentioned Dagon in her rundown of the best mutant fish people movies, so I don’t want to just repeat what she said, but I have to include Dagon on this list. It’s not just one of my favourite Lovecraft movies, it’s one of my favourite movies, and it deserves credit. Sure, it fell foul of some early poor-quality CGI which looks gratingly dated now, but using my favourite HPL story, ‘The Shadow Over Innsmouth’ as a starting-point wins it favour to start with – plus, repositioning the film not in the United States but in Spain allows Stuart Gordon to add yet another layer of difference and alienation to an already heaving atmosphere. Now not only is there a conspiracy in the strange fishing town of Imbocca, but the ‘stranger in a strange land’ effect is amplified by the problems with language and culture difference. Still, this isn’t just a mood piece. There’s lots of tension here too – and protagonist Paul’s efforts to escape from the waves of deformed (or are they deformed?) villagers is a creepy highlight.

Two other things are striking, for me. The first is the magnetic performance of Macarena Gómez, who is just perfect in her role of ‘the Priestess’ and deserves to be seen more outside of her native Spain. Then, there’s the ambiguity of that ending. Has Paul been beaten? Or, in being made to embrace his ‘destiny’, has he actually found happiness? Dagon is a classic example of Lovecraft on the silver screen and it’s a film that I find oddly comforting to watch over and over again.

The Call of Cthulhu (2005)

I come to the end of my little list to discuss what is, to me, the most ambitious and accomplished HPL horror I have seen to date. Sadly, I have yet to see the most recent offering from the HP Lovecraft Historical Society and director Sean Branney (The Whisperer in Darkness) but if it’s of the same quality as The Call of Cthulhu, then fuck it, I’m in.

Imagine if a cinematic version of HPL’s short story of the perils of forbidden knowledge, ‘The Call of Cthulhu’ (featuring the creature which would spawn an entire mythos) had been made at the time he wrote it? The story was completed in 1926: these were the days before ‘talkies’, so it would be a silent film, and if it was anything like comparative creepy tales which were making their way to the screen, it would probably reflect the day’s preoccupation with Expressionist tropes. Also, all the visual effects would have to be done with what was available at the time. See, if you’ve tracked down The Call of Cthulhu (and I was fortunate enough to see this on the big screen) then you need imagine what that would be like no more – the HPLHS have made it happen. The film also closely follows the progression of the original story, making it deeply unusual in terms of HPL cinema, but it works well. The sense of contemporaneity with the story-writer himself is strong, and it makes for a memorable piece of cinema: this film has set the bar very high for any upcoming HPL film projects, as well as given the lie to suggestions that Lovecraft’s stories are unfilmable in their original form… it’s not easy, and it’s not common, but it has been done here.

So, whether or not the man himself was a fan of cinema, his stories have fed into many, many movies over the decades – what he would have thought of the films I’ve listed here, I could not say, but I’m glad that Lovecraft’s warped visions have found its place on the silver screen. For a more exhaustive run-down of the movies I’ve mentioned, as well as stacks more, do check out ‘Lurker in the Lobby: a Guide to the Cinema of H.P. Lovecraft’ by Andrew Migliore & John Strysik.