Vampires have come on a lot since Bram Stoker’s time. Modern iterations of the original Count Dracula have grown well beyond the plague-bringing, coffin-dragging antagonist role. See the maudlin, complaining protagonist Louis and the dashing, bratty Lestat (Interview with the Vampire); the sexy-rich fashion plates played by Catherine Deneuve and David Bowie in Tony Scott’s high glamour, gothic The Hunger; elsewhere, feminist icons from glamorous action hero Selene in the Underworld franchise to Iranian film A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night abound. Most offer layers of deeper meaning and metaphor; Wir Sind Die Nacht’s critique of the modern cult of consumerism for example, and Let The Right One In, where the relationship between an isolated young boy and an ancient vampire masquerading as a child is pretty much a textbook tale of sexual grooming, minus the immortality and bloodsucking.
Now Polish director Paweł Podolski has brought us yet another spin on the traditional vampire tale in Życie dla początkujących (Life for Beginners), the glamour-free, thoughtful and dryly humorous tale of a shy, retiring and deeply ethical female vampire Monia (Magdalena Maścianica) who has chosen to work in a Polish old people’s home for both the quiet, night-shift life and the opportunities it gives her to ethically (in her view) discreetly medically siphon the blood of the elderly residents who pass away in her care. Made on a micro-budget (not that it really shows, Ernest Wilczyński’s cinematography of semi-lit, gloomy interiors does a lot of heavy lifting), it uses vampiric lore to explore attitudes to mortality and existence.
Monia’s existence is repetitive and monotonous by design and seemingly, desire. She goes about her nightly care duties conscientiously, polite even in the face of verbal abuse from the less pleasant residents such as Krystyna (Małgorzata Rożniatowska), who also has a sideline in petty theft. Krystyna has a talkative, hollow-eyed grandson, Czarek (Michał Sikorski) who often visits and hangs around the place, perpetually clad in a puffer jacket. Czarek seems fascinated with the quiet, dutiful Monia, despite Monia’s absolute disinterest in getting to know him better. Czarek eventually clocks Monia as a vampire when she drops her ubiquitous travel mug and blood flows out. Czarek cannot understand why Monia, being immortal, has settled for the stifling, dull life she has. Eventually, he reveals he has a life-limiting illness and demands Monia transform him into a vampire too. Monia refuses. During the resulting contretemps, a resident is found dead from a bite wound, their blood drained. Then, eventually, another. Another vampire is clearly in town and does things the old-fashioned way. Who can it be?
It turns out to be Mirek (Bartłomiej Kotschedoff), vampire progeny of Monia. Mirek is beside himself with angst and purposelessness and wants to die, but after a few cloddish experiments in vampiric self-harm, he’s realised only his maker can end him. Just as Monia isn’t interested in turning Czarek into a vampire for ethical reasons, she’s equally against murdering Mirek for the same. Mirek threatens to keep killing residents until Monia agrees to do the deed. A deal is reached; Mirek will call a truce on murdering the elderly, while Monia and Czarek try to cure Mirek of his miserable outlook and rampant suicidality. Initial attempts, including Czarek’s ludicrous ‘Reasons to Live’ Powerpoint presentation revolving around the joys of being a football ultra, fail.
Meanwhile, the elderly residents, fully aware that life and opportunity are short, are taking full advantage of the joys of life they can access. Krystyna starts conducting a romance with another resident. Others decide to have a bonfire of the vampire-tainted furniture that becomes a social event for all. All this social interaction with those at the end of life starts to have interesting effects on the trio. But will it stop Mirek wanting to die?
Life for Beginners is ultimately a quiet, quite charming story that doesn’t outstay its welcome at a short 80 minutes. The characters and their interactions are quite disarmingly humorous, and there are many small, amusing visual touches, such as Monia’s carefully arranged fridge full of carefully-labelled blood bags that she drinks from with a straw. One could only wish for a slightly longer film that allowed us to explore the characters’ backgrounds more, especially Monia and Czarek’s earlier relationship and what led Monia to choose the care home ‘nightlife’. Magdalena Maścianica’s physically and emotionally restrained, subtle performance as Monia is key; trapped by her own reticence to take risks, she is counterpoint to Michał Sikorski’s louder, more emotionally needy and flailing character Czarek, who is only too aware of his own mortality. Finally, Małgorzata Rożniatowska has a huge amount of fun as Krystyna, a woman who, whilst unpleasant in life, goes on to provide certain odd inspirations to our central trio in death.
Life for Beginners (2025) received its UK premiere at this year’s Raindance Film Festival and screens again today (Monday 22nd June). For more details, please click here.