By Ben Bussey
This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write. On behalf of all of us at Brutal As Hell, I am devastated to announce that Stephanie Scaife, one of our longest-serving writers, committed suicide last Wednesday.
Steph began writing for BAH in 2010. The first thing she wrote for us, unless I’m mistaken, was a review of Jorge Michel Grau’s We Are What We Are; the last thing she wrote for us was the conclusion of her report on FrightFest 2015, only last week. I met her in person only once, at FrightFest 2011.
Her contributions to the site throughout the past year had been sporadic; she told me in her e-mails that she’d needed to take a break due to both her busy work schedule, and personal matters which she didn’t divulge and I didn’t press her on. However, in her final e-mail to me, she said she was ready to start writing more regularly again, and feeling in a much better place personally. In her FrightFest report, she talks about plans to attend London Film Festival. She gave every indication of looking forward to the future. Less than 24 hours after I received that e-mail and published her final article, she hung herself.
I really can’t say it any better than my co-editor Keri O’Shea did on Twitter the night we heard the news: “RIP to an acquaintance who should have been a friend.” Although she had been part of our team for five years, the sad reality is that none of us really knew Steph personally at all, and I know this is something I will always have personal regrets about. What little we knew of her was gleaned from her now-deleted social media profiles, from which we knew she was a committed vegan and atheist, a firm advocate of animal rights and equality, and of course, a passionate writer and devotee of film.
Of course, all of us at BAH are well aware that whatever pain we feel right now dims in comparison to that of Steph’s mother and everyone else who was close to her. To them, we express our deepest sympathies. And to Steph herself, if there was any way I could say one more thing to her, it would just be to tell her that she was valued, she was admired, and she was respected, and she will be very sadly missed indeed.
To anyone who may be going through what Steph went through – please do not suffer in silence. Reach out to friends. Help is available.
http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us