A searing indictment of exploiting the proletariat for political and financial gain, this short film is essential viewing for anyone interested in the history of…nah, come on, look at what it’s called. It’s about a girl with a haunted vagina, the very idea of which will cause amusing pearl clutching by those who think we shouldn’t talk about that area, especially one with extra, supernatural problems.
How could I not review something with this title? Directed by Samantha O’Rourke and scripted by Rachel Tookey, this horror comedy short follows the sexually repressed Meghan (Sophie Duker), whose pursuit of a satisfying climax – well, any sort of climax to be honest – is consistently thwarted by the ghost of a local priest (Scott Gutteridge) whose pronunciations on sin were cut short by a heart attack.
Duker’s comedic chops are in no doubt, so it’s unsurprising that the scares take a back seat to the silliness, but she’s also called upon to play it at least semi-serious in a few places, especially in the later interactions with Gutteridge, and she acquits herself very well. As for Scott, anyone with a passing knowledge of Fleabag is going to think “sexy priest”, but to say he’s just a genre version of that would be doing him an immense disservice. As the initial villain of the piece, he’s adept at turning on the darkly humorous fire and brimstone, but convinces just as much when showing different, unexpected sides to his character.
Further chuckles are provided by Declan Baxter as Meghan’s would-be romantic interest, a man whose increasingly fragile ego takes multiple batterings as he struggles to come to terms with the situation. He can’t see the ghost, obviously, so how would it be possible to explain the situation to him in a rational way? It’s only a matter of time before he takes the blows – or lack of (I’m sorry, I had to include that, I refuse to grow up) – personally.
The focus here is on fun. but there are observations about the ways in which we’re all made to feel embarrassed about sex and how the barriers to getting pleasure from it manifest themselves in bizarre ways. Considering the scenario, you might think that this would take the opportunity to have a pop at religion but this really doesn’t bash the Bishops (I’m on a roll now with the sex puns, not even apologising for that one), even giving the priest the chance to turn saviour.
Of course, TGWTHV indulges in a couple of good old, down and dirty laughs as Meghan’s frustration increases, but there are also surprisingly sweet moments to be found and there’s even a bit of amusingly misguided, witchy activity from Meghan’s well-meaning mate Cady (Ameera Conrad) in there for good measure. As frank as it needs to be but not gratuitously rude, it won’t scratch the itch of those expecting unadulterated filth. However, the rest of us will most likely find twelve minutes of gratification. And, if you’re in the mood afterwards, you can always watch it again.
Okay, I’ll stop now.
The Girl with the Haunted Vagina played at the Soho Horror Film Festival 2023.