Review: The Culling (2015)

By Quin

I have to admit that I had to look up the definition to the word “culling” and found that it meant “a selection from a large quantity; reducing the population of a wild animal (specifically an inferior or surplus animal) by selective slaughter.” In the final minutes of the film, the word is used once. Even in the context of the scene, I still had to look it up to be sure of its meaning. In fact, it feels like they must have already had the title attached to the script, then when they got toward the end they figured they should throw it in. Without giving away the ending, I must say that the implications of the title make the subject matter of the film infinitely darker than one gets from just looking at the screen and watching the movie. The potentially pitch dark themes just aren’t all there and what is there is slight. The Culling is nothing more than a young people on a road trip movie where they take a detour into a typical low-budget horror movie.

In the first seconds of the film, we see a screaming woman running from something. If I wasn’t reviewing this, I may have stopped right there. Way too many horror films open like this. In this case it was quick and served virtually no purpose toward getting to the actual story. Already feeling annoyed, the opening credits sequence made me more-so. Bad fonts and bad music mixed with cliched horror images do nothing to engage the viewer, wasting time in what is already just an 80 minute film.

The group of young people in the film are a typical assortment of what you get in a movie like this. In this case, they’re in a van on their way to South by Southwest in Austin, Texas. There isn’t much of any talk about music and it’s safe to say their only interested in partying. On the way, they stop at a restaurant that ends up being closed. Just as they’re about to take off, they find a little girl. She says that she was with her Grandpa and she doesn’t know where he went. The group has a great opportunity here to call the police and then be on their way to Austin to enjoy some of the next big things in rock music before the rest of the world gets a chance. Of course, if they did that, this wouldn’t be a horror movie. Their reasoning skills are immediately called into question when they collectively decide that waiting for the police would take up too much of their time. Obviously, the only other thing to do is put the kid in the van and drive her home.

There is really nothing worse than a horror movie with a faulty or unbelievable premise. Sure it works when the movie is silly and fun. The Culling is pretty silly but not in a fun way. The group arrives at the girl’s home, but no one is there. The girl says her parents are probably out looking for her. The group that wouldn’t wait for the police (and still has the option of calling them here) decides to wait for the parents in a creepy old house with a strange little girl. By this point, the viewer has already seen shadows moving around the house and heard growling noises. The parents return and are briefly more skeptical about the group of people, than the fact that their daughter is safe and back home. The little girl’s parents are played by Johnathon Schaech and Virginia Williams. Their acting is the only good acting in the film. There’s some bonding time and conversation while drinking around a camp fire just before an injury (complete with dodgy first-aid; Seriously how hard is it to apply pressure and not move the patient?) leaves the group alone with the girl again. This is the half way mark of the film and finally we get to see some action. There is some fairly tight tension, but it’s regularly halted by the bad acting and terrible visual effects.

There is one tiny easter egg I found in the film that I think is worth noting for music fans. As I said, a film where the characters are going to South by Southwest should have more references to music. Early in the film, before the road trip, someone is having an instant message conversation. It goes fast and it’s extremely convoluted. Perhaps it holds clues that will be useful to some people. What I found interesting was a quick flash of a clip from a Clinic music video. Clinic is a great post punk/experimental band from Liverpool that I love. I saw them in Los Angeles at the Whiskey-a-Go-Go around 2003 and I didn’t even know they were still together. So I guess what I’m saying is that I did get something valuable from The Culling. Unfortunately that’s about all I got out of The Culling. I wouldn’t waste my time on it if I were you, but you should go watch some Clinic videos. That’s something I can recommend.

The Culling is available now on VOD and digital download from Millennium Entertainment.