By Ben Bussey
How many billions of conversations in playgrounds/pubs/online forums and so forth have been spawned by the timeless question, “if x and y got in a fight, who would win?” How many scenarios have been played out in the imaginations of fans all over the world, picturing their favourite characters co-existing in the same story world, whether beating the living crap out of one another, doing battle side by side, or getting down to business…? Well, okay, slash fiction may not have quite made the transition to the big screen just yet, but the utterly ridiculous box office takings of The Avengers would seem to indicate that the public taste for spectacular crossover movies is at an all-time high, hence we can look forward to more Avengers, Batman vs. Superman, and almost certainly more besides in the near future.
Is it fair to say it all began a decade ago, when two of the biggest names in 80s horror crossed blades in the same movie for the first, and to date last time…?
I have to tell you, I’m really feeling the years with this one. Writing some of these retrospectives, it’s not hard to accept how long it’s been since the film in question was released. But Freddy vs. Jason… it really does seem like only yesterday. How clearly I recall that weekend in August 2003; visiting a dear old friend (my future best man) in Sheffield, and dragging him (somewhat unwillingly, I suspect) to every nearby cinema in order to see it, only to find it was sold out everywhere; thereafter, getting back to my then-home of Liverpool that Sunday evening, and proceeding to drag my (even less willing) bride-to-be to a late show at what was then the UGC on Edge Lane.
The screen was packed, the crowd was rowdy, and there was barely a moment’s quiet during the movie; under normal circumstances this would almost certainly have pissed me off royally, but in this instance it all felt perfectly in tune with proceedings. From the beginning, it was clear this was not a horror movie inviting the audience to sit back, stroke their chins and get all contemplative. This was a scream, shout, cheer, throw your popcorn in the air kind of movie, and that was very much how the crowd at the UGC reacted that night; everyone seemed to be on the same page, enjoying it in just the same way. I look back on it as being truly one of the best cinema experiences of my life.
This being the case, it wasn’t until I saw the movie again a few days later, in a mid-afternoon show with a much smaller audience, that I came to fully realise just what a deeply flawed movie Freddy vs. Jason really is. And yet these are all flaws I’m still able to overlook a decade on, such is my affection for this movie.
A Friday the 13th/Nightmare on Elm Street crossover movie is one of those ideas that seems to have been floating around forever, one which any number of people want to take credit for. There’s no real mystery as to why it took so long to materialise: Paramount Pictures owned Jason Voorhees, New Line Cinema owned Freddy Krueger, and neither kid was willing to let the other borrow their best toy. The ball didn’t really get rolling until New Line acquired the rights to Jason, and made Jason Goes To Hell: the Final Friday in 1993. Yeah, never quite understood why the first thing New Line did after acquiring the character was ostensibly kill him off. Of course, that movie did end with a fan-pleasing shot of Jason’s vacant hockey mask being dragged underground by Freddy’s gauntlet, leaving audiences in no doubt as to what was to come – even if it didn’t come until a full decade later. (There was also Jason X in 2001, but given the future setting, it’s in no way referenced in FvJ; nor, unsurprisingly, is the meta-tastic Wes Craven’s New Nightmare.)
Once the legal red tape was out of the way, there was the not insignificant issue of coming up with a narrative that would bring the characters together in a way that didn’t seem too utterly ridiculous. There were a shitload of different treatments and scripts floating around, some of which can be found if you’re inclined to do so, but I think the premise they settled on was probably as good a hook as they could have found: our old frenemy Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund, playing his signature role for what promises to be the last time) is trapped in movie villain limbo, having been long since forgotten by the children of his old slashing ground, Springwood. In a somewhat Jungian twist, it turns out the source of Freddy’s power is his legend; as a scary story the local kids would tell one another around campfires or at sleepovers, Freddy reigned supreme in the collective unconscious. Their fear gave him his strength, and that kept him alive. Nifty, eh? Wait until they get to all that primal symbolism jazz about Freddy dying by fire and Jason by water. But don’t worry, if Jung’s not your bag there’s plenty of considerably less intellectual stuff around the corner.
In another smart move which acknowledges the sizeable gap between movies, it transpires that the elders of Springwood have long since gotten wise to the nature of Krueger’s power; they’ve supressed his legend through strong-armed censorship, plus the strategic ferreting out of undesirables who are then reprogrammed via illegal pharmaceutical means. (Yep, authority figures infringing on civil liberties, for the people’s own good… and this was only 2003.) The illegal drug in question is Hypnocil; yes, Freddy fans, that’s the dream suppressant prescribed to the kids in Part 3. The ‘crazy’ kids of FvJ are even in the same institution – Westin Hills. (References to widely acknowledged best sequel = instant fan credibility.) So, trapped on the other side, how can Freddy get back in the game? By spreading the fear once again – and who better to do that than the mindless, machete-swinging meathead of the apparently-nearby rural community Crystal Lake. Working his dream mojo on the slumbering indestructible hulk, Freddy sends Jason off to Springwood to wreak havoc.
Of course, there may have been trouble in paradise for some fans already, for – as that synopsis alone indicates – there would seem to be a definite narrative bias in favour of Freddy. Is this because it’s a New Line production, and Freddy was their baby, whilst Jason was merely their disadvantaged foster child? Perhaps. Or it might just be because, comparatively speaking, there isn’t really all that much you can do with Jason. As iconic as the two characters are, and as much as they do compliment one another, they’re pretty far removed in their overall approach, what with Jason being a silent, plodding, mindless killer, and Freddy being the scheming, wisecracking supervillain. Having Freddy manipulate Jason via his dreams was an entirely sensible move; more curious is how this approach tends to promote Jason as a figure of sympathy. Sure, it makes sense that we might feel sorry for him, given the hand he was dealt; disfigurement, social rejection, drowning, domineering mother who wound up getting decapitated. The fact that he died a child whilst Freddy is a child killer provides yet another parallel between the characters; in fact, if I’ve read correctly an earlier script had Freddy actually being one of the camp counsellors who let him drown, and may also have molested him. Still, Jason’s victim card can’t be played too heavily, given this movie sees him rack up one of his highest body counts: at least twenty-two, including Freddy at the climax (though, of course, neither of them can really be said to have died), and Odessa Munroe’s skinny dipper, who turns out to be a part of Jason’s own dream.
The real joy of Freddy vs Jason, then, is how it cast all that aside and went back to the time-honoured 80s approach of showing everything, and often. I daresay it was almost certainly the goriest mainstream studio movie ever released at the time (though Final Destination 2 made a good stab at it earlier that year, and Kill Bill Vol. 1 probably outdid it two months later). Bodies folded in half, heads splattered, chest cavities gushing like hosepipes, chunks of flesh flying left and right – is it any wonder audiences whooped and cheered? Furthermore, is it any wonder how receptive the studios were toward graphic gore in the years that followed (coughtorturepornahem)?
The movie’s really alive when the arterial spray hits the screen. And in the two scenes when Freddy and Jason finally do battle – the last twenty minutes in particular… my face still aches just remembering how hard I smiled on first viewing. The Hong Kong style that director Ronny Yu brings fits the action like a knife-laden glove; the way it all builds from a high energy wrestling-esque spectacle, into almost a live-action Tom and Jerry as they swing on chains and pelt one another with lethal implements from on high. Then how it finally devolves into a relentlessly bloody blade-augmented no holds barred brawl, the two slasher icons gradually taking each other apart piece by piece, literally… all that’s missing is Freddy saying “you didn’t get me down, Jason.” Truly, it’s the stuff of every 80s horror child’s dreams.
Now, allow me to say in opening on this – I do not by any means hate any of these actors. Some of them, indeed, I actively admire: Katharine Isabelle, obviously (more on whom later); Monica Keena I quite enjoyed in the Night of the Demons remake (yes, I do mean for her acting, not just her torso); I dug Christopher Marquette in Fanboys; and Brendan Fletcher actually gives a really pretty good performance here, being blessed with one of the better roles as the sardonic Westin Hills inmate Mark. However, put them all together, give them that script, and throw in a few very, very weak links, and you wind up with – no word of exaggeration – the single most annoying bunch of teens in the history of both the Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street franchises. Yes, I’m well aware that’s saying a hell of a lot. This gang really is that bad. And the lion’s share of the blame has to fall on writers Damien Shannon and Mark Swift (with a side order of shame for uncredited script doctor David Goyer). The script emphasises this unengaging, largely unsympathetic pack of fucktards, fleshing out tedious subplot after tedious subplot, filling their mouths with horrendously overwritten dialogue – and all at the expense of the title characters, who wind up supporting players in their own damn film.
Like I say, I don’t hold all the actors entirely at fault; the ones I mentioned beforehand are doing what they can to make it work. But seriously, what were they thinking with Kyle Labine (incidentally, brother of Tyler Labine from Tucker and Dale versus Evil)? If they wanted Jason Mewes, why not just get Jason Mewes? And Jason Ritter… just no. He’s just too feeble, he doesn’t remotely convince as would-be romantic hero Will. But those guys are Sir Laurence Fucking Olivier by comparison with the worst, most annoying performer in the ensemble, giving almost certainly the single least likeable performance in the history of the Freddy and Jason movies… Kelly Fucking Rowland. Jesus Tittyfucking Christ, it’s like nails on a chalkboard every time she opens her mouth. Maybe they thought making her alternately utter “fuck” and “y’all” every other word would make her seem – I dunno – real. All it succeeds in doing is making her really, really, unbelievably annoying and impossible to care about. And yes, that is a problem. Sure, some characters in slashers are deliberately annoying so we’ll get some joy out of seeing them killed, but that isn’t how they play it here. We’re supposed to care who makes it out of there alive in the final reel, when in fact all we want to do is see them get the fuck out of the way so we can concentrate on messrs. Voorhees and Krueger battering the bejesus out of one another. Subsequently, when Rowland meets her inevitable demise, it just feels like an afterthought.
All this being the case, Katharine Isabelle kind of lucked out by getting killed off early…
And this is where it gets a bit ugly, as while I may look back on Freddy vs. Jason with much fondness, it’s hard to imagine Katharine Isabelle does, and it’s hard not to remark that the film probably didn’t do her career any big favours. When I got to meet Ms Isabelle in Sheffield on the American Mary UK tour early this year, I opted not to broach the subject of Freddy vs. Jason as much for expediency as anything else, but one remark she made in the post-screening Q&A did stand out to me. Asked whether she feared typecasting in bad girl roles, she replied (and I’m going from memory here, so I apologise if I’m paraphrasing) “good girls are boring twats.” If we’re in an unforgiving mood, that would seem a fairly apt description of Lori, Freddy vs. Jason’s final girl played by Monica Keena – and, up until quite late in the day, the role Katharine Isabelle was supposed to be playing.
Nor was that the only casting controversy, given long-running Jason actor Kane Hodder was dumped for Ken Kirzinger, and the original Mrs. Voorhees Betsy Palmer declined to return after New Line refused to pay her above basic SAG minimum; not the best deal for someone who played a major role in launching the Friday the 13th franchise. If I’m not mistaken, Jason Ritter was also a late substitution for Brad Renfro, owing surely to the drug problems which would sadly end the young actor’s life not long thereafter.
Put all these problems to one side, though, and Freddy vs. Jason remains a very enjoyable film; I’d rank it in my personal top five of both the Friday and Nightmare franchises. I’d also argue that it’s a pivotal movie in modern horror – for better or worse. First off, along with Alien vs. Predator the next year, it brought back crossover movies – and you just know someone at Marvel was sitting up and taking notice. On top of which, it brought back tits and gore in a big way, demonstrating that explicit was the way to go, and thereby paving the way for the torture movies. Also, it closed the book on the two behemoth 80s horror franchises (both of which were rebooted in the years ahead). Yet in doing so – and making big money in the process, more than recouping its $30 million budget almost overnight – it also demonstrated, hand in hand with that fucking Platinum Dunes Texas Chainsaw remake, how easily new takes on the horror movies of yesteryear could be sold to a modern audience. Freddy vs. Jason might have been, in its own way, bold, risky, and even experimental for a mainstream movie, but it played a part in ushering in the nauseatingly risk-averse, lowest common denominator-friendly horror remake boom, from which we’re still struggling to escape the fallout a decade on. And that’s just from one movie; imagine what might have happened had Sam Raimi let them make Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash next, and/or if Dimension had managed to get their hastily-planned Pinhead vs. Michael Myers movie off the ground…
But once again, while there’s plenty we can criticise Freddy vs. Jason for, there can’t be many horror fans who lived through the 1980s that don’t still get just a little bit of a buzz from the mere idea of the two greatest killers of the era having a fight. It may be childish, it may be dumb, and maybe we should know better than to enjoy it; but we can say that about of a hell of a lot of horror, can’t we? And would we really want it any other way…?