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Novel concepts in horror movies often seem hard to come by. Fear, Inc., the feature debut of seasoned short film director Vincent Masciale, comes close to doing something relatively unique in what initially seems a fairly fresh and funny fashion, but it winds up hitting pretty wide of the bullseye. I’ll do my utmost to avoid spoilers here, but honestly the film shows its hand pretty early on with a single direct reference which, to any reasonably erudite cinephile (i.e. anyone who’s seen a few movies), pretty much tells you all you need to know straight away. Blending heavy-handed film geek and stoner humour with home invasion horror and elements of the slasher and torture subgenres, the film proceeds to throw in so many twists and turns that even M Night Shyamalan might find it a bit much; and, as Shyamalan learned the hard way, there comes a point when the audience just won’t accept that bullshit anymore, and would much prefer some coherent storytelling that actually holds up to scrutiny. Continue reading “Review: Fear, Inc. (2016)” →

One good microbudget indie horror anthology movie deserves another. 2015’s Volumes of Blood (my review here) was an enjoyable addition to the pantheon of portmanteau horror made with a cut-price charm and unmistakable affection for the genre, so it should come as little surprise that the sequel Volumes of Blood: Horror Stories continues in a similar vein; although speaking of veins (heheh… sorry), this installment sees a far greater emphasis on bloodshed than its comparatively sedate predecessor. While this alone doesn’t necessarily make it a stronger film, it does demonstrate that Horror Stories is a sequel which is not content to retrace its steps, but rather seeks to improve on what went before – and I’m happy to report that, all things considered, it is largely superior to the original Volumes of Blood, even if it comes close to being undone by its own ambition.

In common with its predecessor, the sequel centres on a single location and tells several creepy tales which take place in that setting; but where in the first film this was a library where a group of college students devised their own urban legends, this one sees the prospective buyers of a house shown around the now empty property, before regaling us with morbid tales from the house’s history, whose most horrific moments occurred in specific rooms. And there’s another unifying theme, as each tale takes place on a family holiday: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Father’s Day, Christmas, and then just to mix things up a bit, a birthday. Yes, this approach is more than a little reminiscent of another anthology movie which came out this year, Holidays, though given the timing I think it’s fair to write this off as an unfortunate coincidence; but in any case, Holidays left quite a lot to be desired in my book, and in fact VOB:HS beats it at its own game, as for the most part the stories are far more closely related to the holidays in question. Continue reading “Review: Volumes of Blood: Horror Stories (2016)” →

Given that at the time of writing the filmmaker and musician has been thrilling audiences all over the globe with live performances of his classic synthesizer scores, I find myself wanting to open this review with the note that John Carpenter is very much in fashion at this moment – but that seems a moot point. He may have never made billions at the box office or been showered with awards, but for most film fans – particularly those with a preference for genre-based material – the films of John Carpenter have never gone out of style, and I very much doubt they ever will. He may have produced the real meat of his filmography in that most equally revered and reviled of decades in pop culture history, the 1980s, yet there’s a distinctly timeless quality about his work which makes it stand apart and, in most instances, head and shoulders above most mid-budget genre fare produced in Hollywood at the time.

Generally speaking, the first film anyone will mention in relation to Carpenter was his breakthrough hit Halloween, and that’s entirely fair given how influential that film became, and how it launched the director into his most prolific period; but at the same time we shouldn’t forget that Halloween was in fact Carpenter’s third feature film. His debut, Dark Star, was an extension of an ultra-low budget student film made with his classmates at UCLA, and while it’s not without its entertainment value, it’s pretty far removed from what we would typically identify as a John Carpenter movie. However, his sophomore effort – Assault on Precinct 13 – is in many respects the real starting point for Carpenter, boasting many of the key themes, motifs and fetishes that generations of film fans would come to know and love him for. Continue reading “Blu-ray Review: Assault on Precinct 13 (1976)” →

By Quin

I get so giddy with excitement every time another anthology horror film is released. They always remind me of some of the older films I saw as a kid and there’s just something comforting about them. I also find the length of each segment more appealing as I get older. Sometimes it’s nice to have the movie version of “fun size” candy bars. A two hour complete story arch, where it is material you feel like you’ve seen before, can be a bit much. On top of all this, some of the best horror filmmakers working today are making short films. Nine directors are assembled here to piece together a pretty solid and fun anthology film. While these filmmakers may not be among the best (yet), Patient Seven is still one of the better anthology films of the last few years that I’ve seen.

The film’s wraparound story begins as Dr. Marcus (played by Michael Ironside) arrives at Spring Valley Mental Institution where he is going to interview some severely disturbed patients about their conditions. His findings will be included in a book he is working on. During each interview, we see the events that brought each of them to the hospital via the individual short films. As you might guess from the title, there are seven patients total. Each one is played without too much camp or irony, which is a smart move from the actors. While watching the first two I wrote in my notes that they seemed like extras from something between One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. It also doesn’t take long at all to discover Dr. Marcus is a terrible doctor and a total asshole looking to exploit these people.

The first segment is actually the weakest, but it’s still pretty interesting. The way it was shot immediately put me off, but when the supernatural stuff starts happening, it really kicks into gear. There are some simple but nice looking visual effects as well as a creature that looks really cool. If you are a Guillermo Del Toro fan or loved the Buffy The Vampire Slayer episode Hush, you will be happy to hear, the creature is played by Doug Jones.

I don’t want to say too much about the others, but it’s fine to tell you that a couple of them are darkly hilarious and could maybe inspire a great Halloween costume. One is a zombie story that will break your heart. There’s one about a vampire hunter that has a man being questioned about why he killed his victims, to which he replies in this order, “Dealer. Pimp. Chelsea Fan.”

The final segment is the one that ties the whole thing together and it’s my opinion that the title Patient Seven gives too much away. It might have been better to called it Seven Patients. I would not be surprised if you guess what is going to happen early on. Unfortunately it’s not very original. But that last short film is great. It’s shot by a couple guys named Johannes Persson and Rasmus Wassberg and it features some great effects and some infected people (Rather than use the z-word, I opted for the Umberto Lenzi term) that look like no others I’ve seen. The snowy cinematography is a bit like if Fargo combined with Let the Right One In, but became a shaky found footage movie. It’s beautiful, but oh-so-very-shaky.

Even though I knocked the wraparound story, I do think it might have made a worthwhile film on its own. But when you have a collection of short films that are this strong, all the wraparound does is force it all to fit together in a sloppy way. However, please don’t let that stop you from seeing this movie. Patient Seven is far from perfect, but I would not be surprised if when I’m listing my favorite films of 2016, a couple of these short films are mentioned. When you get a chance to see truly good horror short films, the delivery system shouldn’t make much of a difference. Rent this, and watch closely for the names attached to each short film to become the next big thing.

Patient Seven is available now from Terror Films across multiple platforms including Youtube, Vimeo, Amazon Instant, Google Play, XBox Live, Vadu, Sony Playstation and iTunes.

By Ben Bussey

As high concept one sentence pitches go, ‘Jurassic Park with zombies’ isn’t a bad one. Playing on much the same vacation from hell theme, The Rezort presents us with a literally post-apocalyptic vision of a world which has survived a rampant zombie plague. A few years on, with the world’s (living) population reduced by two billion, the survivors do their best to carry on as if everything’s still the same as it used to be; but those with enough money can enjoy a whole new form of holiday by going on a zombie safari at the Rezort, an island hit hard by the plague where the infected masses were kept alive (or, y’know, undead) for paying customers to gun down at their leisure. We follow one boatload of guests as they head out for a few days of fun in the sun blasting zombies to bits. What could possibly go wrong?

It’s a simple premise for a fun, roller-coaster ride blockbuster, and that’s pretty much exactly what The Rezort is; although, as a largely UK-based production (shot primarily in Wales and Spain, the end credits tell us), it’s not on quite on the same scale as those we see from Hollywood. Not that this is to the detriment of director Steve Barker’s film, particularly; the Outpost director has made a handsome-looking piece of B-movie entertainment which makes for an unremarkable but enjoyable 90-odd minutes. Think Paul WS Anderson rather than Steven Spielberg. If that thought turns your stomach, move along; but if you’re quite content with genre fare at its most generic, you should get along with this film no problem.

Dougray Scott takes top billing as enigmatic American loner Archer; not the best choice of moniker if you ever happen to have watched the cartoon of the same name, and honestly not the best role for Scott to be cast in (neither his American accent nor his attempt at rugged Eastwood-esque charisma are entirely convincing). However, the real lead is Jessica De Gouw (previously seen in superior apocalyptic movie These Final Hours) as Melanie, a fragile soul who visits the Rezort under a therapist’s advice in the hopes that it will give her some closure over losing her father in the zombie war. She’s joined by Martin McCann as her ex-army boyfriend there for emotional support, and Elen Rhys as another enigmatic loner. Of course, not everyone comes to the Rezort to address deep-seated issues; many just want to shoot zombies for cheap thrills. To this end, the core ensemble is completed by two young London chavs, Jassa Ahluwalia and Lawrence Walker, who are there primarily to call each other ‘bruv’ and crack wise. So, we’ve got our tough guy alpha male, wounded emotional lead, annoying comic relief, and a spot of ambiguity as to who will remain true to the group and who will turn against them; all present and correct for a long walk to survival when, in a manner so borderline-identical to Jurassic Park it barely needs to be pointed out, a cyber-attack breaks down the Rezort’s safety parameters and the zombies are free to attack the guests. And just to add to that race against time aspect, they only have X amount of time before fighter jet are dispatched to nuke the place.

I’m starting to feel like a broken record here, but once again, all the elements are in place for a simple 90 minute action-adventure, which is precisely what we wind up with – and I struggle to find much more to say about The Rezort than that. It’s nothing special, and it’s unlikely to be remembered beyond first viewing, but for what it is, it’s absolutely fine. It doesn’t have any real surprises, nor does it have any real scares, nor do any of the action scenes present anything we haven’t seen before – but innovation is not essential to entertainment value. This is a passable way to spend an hour and a half when you’re in the mood for something unchallenging; nothing more, nothing less.

The Rezort is available on all major digital platforms now in the UK, Ireland, Australia and New Zealand, via Content Media.

Do creature features get much more iconic than this? The classic combination of eye-catching monster and attractive leading lady has served filmmakers well over the decades, but to take one of the most renowned big screen beauties of all time and pit her against the creations of the most celebrated creator of special effects in film history; now that’s a rare feat. A full 50 years on, Hammer’s One  Million Years BC remains the benchmark by which any and all prehistoric fantasies are measured, and a time-honoured favourite of lusty women-fanciers thanks to the unforgettable, and no doubt historically accurate (ahem) fur bikinis worn by the sex symbol extraordinaire Raquel Welch, and her female co-stars. And quite apart from that, it’s also one of the best-remembered titles from the back catalogue of Ray Harryhausen; the stop-motion animation legend didn’t actually make as many dinosaur movies as people sometimes think, and as such there’s a particular potency to those he creates here. The film also stands as a great example of how a remake can outmatch its source material, as it’s based on the otherwise largely forgotten 1940 movie One Million BC.

Still, while One Million Years BC may boast FX work and a leading lady which have long since earned their place in film history (to say nothing of the classic poster art, given a slight redesign and a red tinge for this new Studiocanal release), there may well be a bigger question mark over how well the film itself stands up half a century later – or, indeed, whether there was really much to it at the time. It may have iconography pouring out of its ears, but it’s still safe to say that, as fun as it may be, few of us are likely to hold up director Don Chaffey’s film as anything close to a cinematic masterpiece. Still, while it may have been an ostensibly glossy and mainstream-friendly production, anyone coming to One Million Years BC for the first time may be taken aback by just how weird it is in execution, and how ambitious it is in the themes it attempts to address.

Considering that it presents a version of the origins of humanity which everyone knows is completely inaccurate (one of the few things that advocates of evolution and creationism should be able to agree on), it may come as a surprise as to just how seriously the film seems to treat its vision of a prehistoric world where mankind and dinosaurs co-exist. After opening on some pretty primal imagery of the world coming into being, we meet our first tribe of man: dark-haired, grubby, simple-minded and belligerent, they live by their base urges and violently attack anyone that stops them getting what they want. When a power struggle for leadership of the tribe breaks out, Tumak (John Richardson) finds himself banished to the harsh wilderness; wandering alone, he narrowly avoids death at the hands of various scary monsters before stumbling upon a new tribe very different to his own: fair-haired, peaceful, using basic tools and living in an ordered society (maybe we shouldn’t read too deeply into the superior race being the blonde ones…). The fairest among them is, of course, Loana (Welch), and soon romance blossoms between the golden-haired beauty and the dirty brute slowly learning the civilised ways of her people. But the prehistoric world is not a safe place to be, and danger soon looms on an epic scale.

The key thing that makes One Million Years BC such an unusual viewing experience is that, beyond a spot of narration, there isn’t a word of English, or indeed any other recognisable language spoken in the film, all the dialogue spoken instead in a fully invented caveman dialect. This might on the one hand seem like a great challenge for the cast, as it forces them to convey their characters and emotions as much through body language and expression as anything else; but on the other hand, it definitely adds to the absurdity of the whole spectacle, for as much as there would appear to be some words that have some sort of meaning (‘Akeeta! Akeeta!’ comes up a bit), it’s hard not to believe the cast aren’t just making random grunts most of the time.

As for the sex appeal aspect; this isn’t quite so heavily emphasised as it would be in Hammer’s later films to venture into similar territory, Prehistoric Women, When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth and Creatures the World Forgot; but those films lacked one of the fundamental strengths of One Million Years BC, which is of course Harryhausen’s dinosaurs, and they were a hell of a lot weaker without them. Fact is, without both those key elements – sex appeal, and awesome dinos – One Million Years BC wouldn’t be half the film it is. Indeed, the two seem to go hand in hand in a curious way; it does seem to be in the moments when Welch is at her most coquettish – frolicking playfully in the water, for instance – that a pterodactyl or an allosaurus will come rampaging out of the wilderness and seize her, much in the manner that old Kong just couldn’t keep his paws off Fay Wray. Fun and games for Freudians, no doubt; and one suspects Amazon wouldn’t be so rife with dinosaur-based erotic fiction without this movie. (Look up ‘Taken By the T-Rex’ if you don’t know what I’m talking about.) But it’s not all girl-on-dino action, as we also have the eye-opening wrestling match between Welch and Martine Beswick.

New interviews with Welch and Beswick are the key special features on this 50th anniversary edition disc, as well as some behind the scenes stills galleries and artwork by the late, great Harryhausen – not that existing fans of the film will need much more persuasion to snap this one up.

One Million Years BC is out on Blu-ray and DVD on 24th October, from Studiocanal; on this same day the film will screen at the Cambridge Film Festival.

By Dustin Hall

As the fifth and final Phantasm film hits the screens, we examine it and have a look at the previous installments in the legendary cult classic. One last time, let the Tall Man release you from your imperfect flesh, which ties you to time and space… But before looking at Ravager, let us peer back at the four preceding Phantasm films that spanned almost four decades and endured across an endless stream of horror fads:

Phantasm (1979) – The original Phantasm film came, as most memorable films do, out of nowhere. It was the dream-inspired brain child of Don Coscarelli, an inventive low-budget horror that drew people in with its combination of unique story, chilling music, and a provocative villain played wonderfully by the late Angus Scrimm.

The story centers around 3 friends: young Mike, his older brother Jody, and their friend Reggie, the ice cream man. The three of them enjoy cars, music, and summer nights with plenty of Dos Equis. The trio’s world is shook when, while still in mourning for the death of Jody and Mike’s parents, another of their friends dies under mysterious circumstances. It’s not long before Mike discovers the truth: the cemetery’s undertaker, the Tall Man, is behind the killings. The ultimate goal of the Tall Man, who is actually an alien, is to take bodies from the cemetery, convert them into small, super strong munchkins, and use them as slaves in his home dimension. Aiding him in this endeavor are also his signature flying silver spheres, which monitor the mortuary, slice, drill, and drain any human unfortunate enough to cross their paths.

The original cut of Phantasm, now lost to the ages, was over three hours long. When Don Coscarelli cut the film down to its current 90 minute form, some connective tissue was lost. This leads to odd moments with fortune tellers, supporting cast, and some of the Tall Man’s powers and motivations remaining esoteric, mysterious. The twist at the end only further solidifies that some of the events that transpired on screen were indeed dreams… but others were not. In the end we don’t know what reality is, other than the enduring terror of the Tall Man.

Phantasm II (1988) – Nearly ten years after the first film, Universal decided to push another horror property into the halcyon days of the 80’s and decided to resurrect the cult hit Phantasm as a moderately budgeted franchise. This second installment immediately benefits from the leap in budget, and the effects and innovation are off the charts, as well as a jolt of that classic 80’s lighting and atmosphere. The studio involvement changes some things, including the actor who portrays Mike, but this only begins a trend wherein each Phantasm film has familiar elements, but feels different than any other film in the franchise.

Universal felt uncomfortable with the dream-like narrative of the original film, and so this more grounded story takes a linear turn into apocalyptic territory. By now the Tall Man’s army has spread beyond the small town from part one, and has started tearing across the countryside. Entire towns have been wiped from existence, all of their graves pillaged and enslaved. Mike and Reggie travel cross country, hunting the Tall Man, dodging traps, hoping to rescue a young psychic girl from the undead menace. It all culminates in an explosive and goopy climax.

As fun as it was, Phantasm II wasn’t a major hit, and so it was the last studio funded film in the franchise.

Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (1994) – Now back solely Cosacrelli’s hands, Phantasm celebrated its return to the indy scene by reinstating the original Mike, and delving deeper into the dream-state of the original film.

In this outing, old cast members are offed, and some fairly atrocious new ones are added. Some fans enjoy Rocky, the nunchuck whippin’ bad ass chick, but there’s little love for the Home Alone wannabe Tim, a 10-year old who fends off invaders with booby traps and a trick Frisbee. This one is definitely high on camp. Despite that, the hunt for the Tall Man becomes a circle chase, as he now also pursues Mike for some unknown purpose. When the Tall Man finally catches him, it’s up to Reggie and the others to save him. But Mike seems to already have been experimented on by the Tall Man, or is inhuman himself. Is that a sphere in his head? Also, the deceased Jody reappears via some questionable CGI.

Phantasm IV: Oblivion (1998) – The nineties come to a close with this divisive entry in the series (and my personal favorite sequel). This film uses some of the previously lost footage and cuts it together into dreams, flashbacks, and more importantly an element of time travel. In this film more than any other, the Tall Man’s origins are explored, as well as his plans for Mike. The implications of the dreams make this feel more like a sequel to the original in many ways than the previous campy installments.

Oblivion’s plot is straightforward. Reggie, separated from Mike, journeys through the desert to find him. Mike, on the other hand, explores the strange powers the sphere in his head has given him, and uses them to look into time and see the origins of the Tall Man. While the plot may be light, the imagery and implication are not. We begin to see the truth that was hinted at by the end of the first Phantasm take shape: that this all might be some delusion of Mike’s, a symbol of his mourning over Jody’s death. Is it all in his mind? Why was he chosen by the Tall Man? The cliffhanger ending kept us waiting for 18 years.

And now, after almost two decades, we finally come upon Phantasm: Ravager (2016). At last Phantasm fans gain a continuation of Oblivion’s cliffhanger, and answers to its many implications, as well as a final sendoff for the series. Was it all worth it?!

In many ways, no. It pains me to write that, really.

There were always going to be some issues with Ravager. Having been made across several decades, each Phantasm film bears the marks of the decade it was made in, which is part of why no two of the films feel alike. The original has the surrealism and Euro-style soundtrack that is prevalent among cult films of the 70s, while part II gives way to the slick lighting and practical fx bonanza that was the 80’s. Parts III and IV are full of dated CGI, and reflect both a campiness and a dourness from 90s films, respectively. And so it is with Ravager, that we have a film reflecting a certain class of film unique to this current era. But it exists on the opposite end of the spectrum from explosive, big budget action fests. It reflects the CGI-action of this era, and it reflects the nostalgia fest that peppers so many films with fan-service, but it belongs to an ultra-low budget webseries class of film telling a story whose scope outstrips its means.

This was always going to be the case, as Ravager was originally planned as a web series expanding upon the adventures of Reggie after he’s separated from Mike at the end of Oblivion. After a few of these were finished, though, the crew decided to get back together to make a feature to close out the series. Their budget woes are obvious from the get go, as every scene is peppered with CGI over practicals. Blood is CG, the spheres are all CG, gunshots are CG, as are entire environments and, yes, in some instances even Angus Scrimm himself is replaced with a CG stand-in. This would be fine, if the computer images weren’t somehow worse than the CG spheres that appeared back in 1994. But the problem isn’t the effects, despite how absolutely wretched they are, but the nature of the film as a final installment in the series. It would work fine as a fifth entry, if a sixth were on its heels, but for fans looking for closure, they’ll find only disappointment.

The film opens in typical Phantasm style, with Reggie giving a brief recap of the previous installments, and wandering through the desert, seemingly moments after the end of the last film. We follow him for a while, having adventures involving the recovery of the classic ‘Cuda, more unfortunate encounters with the silver spheres and lovely ladies along the road, all in Reggie’s usual hard luck form. The story takes a turn, though, when Reggie suddenly wakes up in a nursing home. Mike is there, and explains that Reggie has dementia, and has been slipping in and out of lucidity. The film then follows Reggie on a complex journey through three or four realities at any given time, with our heroes battling against the Tall Man in apocalyptic wastelands in one, while trying to sneak Reggie out of a hospital in another, and ultimately matching wits with the Tall Man on a plane outside of normal time.

And again, all of this would be fine as a 5th installment, if it weren’t also the final installment. There are some great moments here, as we finally see the long-alluded to army of the Tall Man invading the world, with mega-spheres leveling buildings, taking on tanks and jets. There are cameos from various cast members across all the Phantasm films. And, though he’s underused by necessity, there is the final melancholy turn of Angus Scrimm as the Tall Man, at times threatening, at others devilish, and in one scene, seemingly saying goodbye to his devoted fans.

What hurts the film so much, assuming you can get past the visuals, is that it in no way progresses the story or answers the questions that were posed by Lord of the Dead or Oblivion. In the end, the lack of answers, and the supporting cast being written out with each successive chapter, makes each step of Phantasm’s journey feel a bit hollow and meaningless. What was once Mike’s story has, over time, become Reggie’s story instead. While we all love Reggie, refusing to address the mysteries surrounding Mike’s connection to the Tall Man make exploring the mystery in the previous installments less fun. There are new reality-warping mysteries surrounding Reggie throughout this film, but assigning them suddenly to him feels like a cheap proxy in lieu of a larger budget and a stronger script.

In the end, there is still much to like in Ravager, but also many things which disappoint. Watching previous installments will always be enjoyable, but never will the films’ puzzles be solved, and so that aspect of enjoyment may pass. Maybe somewhere there is another cut of this film that manages to solve some of its mysteries. After all, the end credits highlight quite a bit of unused footage depicting a war against the Tall Man’s forces. In the meantime, what we can take away from Phantasm is that it is a film series in which no matter what reality we or the characters believe we’re in, no matter if they win or lose their battle against the Tall Man, the main story seems to be about the camaraderie and sacrifice of the three main characters; loyalty, friendship, and trust. Reggie, Mike, and Jody may never conclusively defeat the Tall man, but neither will their wills be broken, so long as they stay together.

Phantasm V: Ravager is now available on Amazon instant video, and will be released on Blu-Ray before long!