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Review by Quin

You may have either seen or read about a film released last year called Motivational Growth. It’s been covered here quite a bit on Brutal as Hell (see Ben and Karolina’s reviews). I have to admit that I still haven’t seen the film, but my reading up on it has been so extensive, it feels like I’ve seen it. And, as I trust my colleagues’ opinions, I tend to think that I would probably have many of the same problems with it that others have been having. Now I don’t want to focus too long on that film – it’s kind of unfair for me to speculate too much in a review. A thought occurred to me that I just want to throw out there. Since Motivational Growth clearly seems to be a divisive film, and this appears to be a result of the filmmaker’s approach to the subject matter, what we need is something that covers similar ground, but does it differently in style and tone. Again, I’m doing a bit of guess work here, but I think Phobia might be the perfect antithesis. Even if it’s ultimately not, and I look back at this review next year and hate myself for it, I am going to go ahead and suggest seeing Phobia if you didn’t like that other aforementioned movie. If I’m wrong, or if you are like me and haven’t seen Motivational Growth (that’s the last time I’ll reference it, I promise), chances are you might like Phobia anyway. It’s a surprising and effective little indie horror film.

Jonathan MacKinley (Michael Jefferson) suffers from severe agoraphobia and hasn’t left his house in over a year. He has a job that allows him to work from home, transcribing voice recordings for various clients. He appears to take good care of himself. He exercises, he showers regularly, and his home – an old, two-story and somewhat claustrophobic house – is kept clean and tidy. Since he doesn’t leave the house, he has his groceries delivered and has regular visits from his best friend. For the most part, this is his only human contact. Oh, and his psychiatrist makes house calls. I don’t know how helpful that is for an agoraphobe, but I don’t have any training in psychology, so I’ll refrain from judging. But even Bill Murray’s character in What About Bob had to take all of those baby steps into the city to see his therapist. Phobia takes us through Jonathan’s existence day by day. We learn more about him from his conversations with the people who visit him, especially when a pretty young woman starts delivering his groceries. Although he is initially nervous, he gets over it quickly and the two hit it off rather well. Eventually she’s hanging out even when she doesn’t have a delivery.

It may sound like Phobia is a love story. I suppose it is to a certain extent. But the film presents Jonathan’s agoraphobia in a way that the viewer can identify with. We experience some of his triggers in a visual way – for instance, when he opens the door for a visitor and the frame is flooded with light. We also get to experience the visions he sees. There is a moment early on when Jonathan is typing at his computer. The hand of a female figure comes into the shot and gently sweeps his cheek. He doesn’t react at all to this. As the film progresses, he sees a woman dressed in a black veil and a man dressed like him holding a knife. He clearly notices these figures and reacts to them. So the burning question all throughout Phobia is – is Jonathan being haunted or is he going mad?

Phobia is the first feature film directed by Rory Douglas Abel. He also wrote the script with Matthew Barnes and it’s their first screenplay as well. For a first film, these guys did remarkably well. The story moves along slowly but organically, keeping an even tone throughout. Most of the shocking scenes have a nice buildup so there aren’t a lot of jarring transitions. The direction is solid; as I said before, the tricks used to show the viewer what it’s like to experience agoraphobia are very effective but not overused. The acting is mostly very good. Much of it feels like the work you would see from an actor in a stage play. There are a few places where certain lines are given awkwardly, but I think that is more of a misstep with the writing. There is also a scene where the dialogue is clearly dubbed. It was really distracting for me, but it only lasted a couple of minutes. I watched this movie via an online screener, so this could have been an issue with that. If not, it would be nice if this could be fixed before the film’s official release.

There is also the tiny matter of the film poster. I understand that the marketing for a film is done by the distributor with input from the investors and it’s out of the hands of the people who lovingly and painstakingly toiled over the making of the film. But this garbage poster has nothing to do with the movie. It has a Clockwork Orange style, eyes pried open forcibly, while bugs crawl all over the face. The main character has agoraphobia, not insomnia. In fact, even though he’s a nervous guy, he always seems well rested. And there are no bugs crawling on anybody in this. That was the last movie I reviewed. This kind of advertising will probably draw the wrong audience. These people will tell their friends that it’s terrible and boring because there were no bugs. And the film will fade into obscurity. I am pleading with anyone who has any power over this – if you can fix that scene with the bad dubbing, go ahead and pull that awful poster while you’re at it. And for everybody else reading this, don’t look at that poster, and if you do disregard it. I’m doing my part to contribute to some damage control here.

I have to point out some similarities between Phobia and another film I reviewed earlier this year – I Am A Ghost. The two films are set in a single location which happens to be an old two story house, The interior of both houses look very similar. Both films have a central character who cannot leave their home. One is dead and one is alive. But in both, they are battling demons that may be real or imagined. I Am A Ghost was one of my favorite films of the year and is the far superior, and deeper film of the two, but Phobia holds its own and is a rewarding view for both fans and non-fans of the horror genre. I will definitely be looking to see what Abel and Barnes do next.

Phobia will be available on DVD from RLJ/Image entertainment on November 25, 2014.

Review by Karolina Gruschka

With having ‘Halloween’ in the film title and being released on the run up to this particular holiday, it would imply that what you get is a horror story set in front of a backdrop of Pagan shenanigans. However, while Grave Halloween has the element of solemn customs, remembering the dead and warding off evil spirits, these are not presented in the cultural context one would expect at first. This Canadian production is set in Japan, addressing Eastern mythology and ceremony but from a Western non-privy perspective. Four international students at Yamanashi International University set off for the infamous Aokigahara, or suicide forest, north west of Mt Fuji on the day of Halloween. Equipped with a camera and boom mic, Maiko (Kaitlyn Leeb), Amber (Cassi Thomson), Terry (Dejan Loyola) and Kyle (Graham Wardle) seek not cheap thrills, but to help Amber complete her uni project, and help Maiko come to terms with her past.

Maiko was adopted as a child because her mother (Maiko Miyauchi) had been struggling with mental health issues. Two months prior to the time Grave Halloween is set, her birth mother commits suicide by hanging herself from a distinctive tree in the Sea of Trees Aokigahara. All Maiko possesses of her is a vague memory and a box comprising jewellery, a good-bye letter and a photo of the suicide tree. Instead of harbouring hard feelings against her mother, Maiko wants to honour her by performing a segaki ceremony*, which is meant to give her soul eternal peace. Maiko lets buddy Amber exploit her very personal story for a documentary project, because she feels that the act of recording will render the mother she barely knew more real. However, Amber seems to be more concerned with milking the melodramatic aspect of Maiko’s circumstances than being sensitive to her feelings.

The group enters the forest with greenhorn naïvety, certain to have the right intentions, but lacking drastically awareness of (and consequently, respect for) local customs and beliefs. Personally, I have experienced first hand what it means to mock the spirits, and let me assure you, it did not end well. Yet, I got to live to learn my lesson, whereas Aokigahara’s yurei or restless ghosts are less forgiving. If only they would have taken local forest walker Jin’s (Hiro Kanagawa) warnings seriously, the dark energies of the forest might have spat them back out into the material world…

On the DVD cover it is stated that Grave Halloween is based on a true story. This is most probably not actually referring to the occurrences in the movie, but the fact that the Japanese suicide forest does exist. As the ‘perfect place to die’, the trees by Mt Fuji witness yearly around 80 deaths. Maiko mentions in the film Matsumoto’s Kuroi Jukai, which is a novel that reinstated the forest’s popularity among the fatally desperate. The pervasiveness of suicides combined with the fact that the forest floor is composed of volcanic rock whose magnetic properties interfere with compasses, has spawned myths about considerable supernatural activities in Aokigahara. Once you enter, you may never leave again, or in the film character Jin’s words: “Sometimes you get lost in the forest, sometimes the forest loses you.”

I would not say that Grave Halloween is a quality horror film production (well, it was made for SyFy), but it was certainly entertaining enough for me to watch it twice. The idea of setting the story in a different cultural context keeps it interesting. The film may not go into depth with the particular belief system, yet from this little glimpse I learned something new about Far Eastern customs. So even if just for that reason, it turned out not to be a waste of time. Usually, I feel sceptical towards Westerners approaching Eastern subject matters, but it works alright for Grave Halloween since the characters themselves are outsiders who cannot seem to grasp the cultural specificities, nuances and differences. The group of students fails to recognize the severity of their actions until it is too late.

That said, Grave Halloween was, in my opinion, drawing too much on cultural references to the circle of Japanese horror films (and their remakes) around the late 1990s and early noughties, including movies like The Ring or Dark Water. It covers everything from creepy long haired girl, over regurgitating hair, to insects exiting/entering bodily orifices; most of it gets thrown at the viewer towards the end within a fairly short time frame. This results in Grave Halloween coming across as highly cliched, unfortunately, and ultimately leads to the twist(s) losing impact, as it becomes very predictable.

Grave Halloween is not demanding on the viewer and therefore perfect for a rainy Autumn afternoon. If you are looking for a genuine Halloween scare, reserve this movie for another day. But here’s some advice from Jin to take on board during the ghostly season: “You mock the spirits, the joke will be on you!”

*Segaki is a Buddhist ceremony where the living generations pay respect to their ancestors and aid them in reaching salvation by making offerings, burning incense and doing chants. In Japan, this event occurs around mid-summer, however, in North America it was moved to coincide with Halloween. It appears to be a custom that is comparable to, for instance, All Saints or Dia de los Muertos.

Steven R. Monroe’s (the director of the I Spit on Your Grave remakes, uh-oh!) Grave Halloween will be released digitally and on DVD on the 27th October 2014, from Kaleidoscope.

Review by Nia Edwards-Behi

I must confess, firstly, that I am not remotely familiar with the work of David Blyth, though he seems to be something of a cult filmmaker, for films such as Angel Mine (1978) and Death Warmed Over (1984). Sadly, this latest film hasn’t made me want to rush out and explore his prior work, as overall Ghost Bride comes across not much better than an unsuccessful debut film.

Jason (Yoson An) is the son of Chinese immigrants to New Zealand, and his sick mother (Catheryn Wu) wants him to marry traditionally, and arranges for him to visit a mystical matchmaker, Madam Yin (Geeling Ng), who has picked out Mai Ling (Fiona Feng) to be his betrothed. Little does Jason’s mother realise, though, that he has been seeing local girl Skye (Rebekah Palmer) for a year, and when he proposes to her and breaks the news to his mother, the truth about Mai Ling becomes clear, and the lines between living and dead blur.

There is so much squandered potential in this film. Stories about generational culture clashes are hardly ground-breaking, but I was looking forward to what could have been a really interesting exploration of Chinese heritage, modern New Zealand, gender politics, the changing roles of women…but no, I got none of that. Sadly, what remains isn’t strong enough to stand on its own, superficial, feet, either. The cultural and generational aspects of the film just aren’t interesting, and the supernatural and horrific elements of the film just aren’t impressive or frightening. It’s unfortunate that, bar one sequence in particular, this film doesn’t veer anywhere close to so-bad-its-good territory either.

What is that sequence? Well, it’s a gloriously embarrassing scene in which Jason and Skye are at a bar, while generic, soundtrack ‘club’ music plays in the background. Suddenly, the music changes to slightly different generic soundtrack ‘club’ music, and Skye declares ‘I love this song!’, gets up, and does the whitest white girl dancing ever committed to film, by herself, while Jason looks on adoringly. The scene is so terrible that it elicited genuine belly laughs from me, which is much more than can be said for the rest of this dull, wasted opportunity of a film.

Overall, the direction of the film is relatively competent, though the film’s low budget shows in the lack of extras in certain scenes (such as the aforementioned club scene). Evidence of a low-budget isn’t not what makes this film so bad though, instead it’s the laziness with which the story and characters have been approached. It became evident within about five minutes of watching the film that it wasn’t made by a Chinese person, with lazy, ‘exotic’ depictions of Chinese tradition found both in the script and in set dressing. The characters in the film are so one-dimensional that they don’t even manage to be particularly unlikeable, they are simply devoid of anything to encourage engagement with them. I lost count of how many times Skye told Jason ‘you’re so sweet!’ whenever he said or did something mildly nice, making their relationship laughable very early on. Poor Skye probably gets the worst deal in the film, what with the embarrassing dancing, clunky dialogue (apropos nothing, she tells Jason “Love sets everyone free. You just have to believe”), and – bonus! – a gratuitous shower scene.

There’s a small flourish of a scene near the end of the film, indicative that the it could at least have been entertainingly horrific had it just tried a little harder, but sadly as it is, it just seems redundant and stupid. Ultimately, Ghost Bride, were it indeed someone’s debut film, would not have been a better film, but it would have been a lot easier to be a bit more sympathetic about its many faults. Instead coming from a seasoned filmmaker, it’s just insultingly lazy.

Ghost Bride is out on VOD and DVD in the US from 4th November, via Midnight Releasing.

Review by Quin

Horror movies never begin with a good decision. If the newly wedded couple never moved into that creepy, old house that was such a good deal or if those kids never stopped at the gas station to get directions from the old man, we would have a lot less scary movies in general. If three young film students had never set out for the woods of Maryland, or if Father Merrin had never gone on that archeological dig in Iraq, found footage and demonic possession films would probably still exist, but they would not have taken the shape in which they exist today. According to Assyrian and Babylonian mythology, Pazuzu represents the southwestern wind, the bearer of storms and drought. If you’re watching a lot of horror films these days, you’ve most likely noticed that we’re in the middle of a found footage storm right now. But it’s actually a storm within a drought. It’s like being lost at sea and dying of thirst. You are surrounded by endless amounts of water, but if you drink any of it, you’ll go crazy and you will die. Unless you are the kind of horror fan that will watch anything, it can be pretty hard to muster up the gusto it takes to sit through another one of these films. Even beyond the found footage aspect, how many times have we been let down by a film about demonic possession? There are really only so many ways to show someone writhing around with their eyes going completely white while screaming profanity and hurling insults about somebody’s mother. It’s usually so boring. Well, The Possession of Michael King is no different. The film begins with a bad decision, there is a possession, there is writhing and eye rolling and, of course, profanity abounds. But I have to say that I found myself enjoying this.

Michael King (played by Shane Johnson – an actor who reminds me so much of Peter Krause as Nate Fisher in Six Feet Under) is a documentary filmmaker. He has recently lost his wife in a horrible accident, leaving him to raise their daughter. Michael is also a devout atheist. The death of his wife has given him the desire to explore his atheism through filmmaking. He decides to make a film documenting his own exposure to all of the forces of darkness he can find. With the help of experts in the field, he hopes to let every demon into his body in the hopes of proving once and for all that there are no demons, there is no devil, there is no God – all religions can go home, there’s nothing more to see here. Yes this is quite a lofty goal and gosh dang-it, this all better work or else somebody’s going to be in big trouble.

If you haven’t guessed the bad decision in this movie yet, I can’t help you. Maybe go see a psychic or something. The found footage angle is used to show Michael seeking out these experts in demonology. They include a dying priest, Satan worshipers, and even a weird mortician who is into Necromancy and body modification. The film does the found footage thing well, wisely presenting details almost like an 83 minute movie trailer. This keeps things moving and doesn’t waste valuable time where we can get information quickly. Sure, I always love a film that can take its time; but if it can’t and it knows it can’t – just give it to me real fast. Sometimes I like it fast.

The Possession of Michael King (probably not the best title, as it gives away everything) is the first film directed by David Jung. He wrote the script as well and I like the story much better than some of his directorial choices. I have no idea how old Jung is, but I read that his inspiration for the possession was from watching The Last Exorcism. Not to get too film snobby, but this notion makes me crazy. Maybe he thought he was being clever by not name dropping The Exorcist or The Omen, but I have a hard time trusting a film maker who finds main inspiration from something so new. Luckily, if I hadn’t specifically heard about his influence, I would have just assumed, reasonably so, that he just loves The Exorcist. As first features go, this is a pretty solid one. I’m sure there will be a fair amount of people out there who will watch it and just think it’s another ridiculous found footage clone. Those people will be absolutely right. But have you ever liked a movie that goes against a lot of what you usually enjoy? This is one of those films for me. Maybe you’ll feel the same way. It’s only 83 minutes. What’s one more 83 minute found footage film? Go on, you know you want to.

As an aside, I think it’s wise for me to add that much of the advertising for the film says one of its stars is Dale Dickey from True Blood. If fans of that show are hoping to see a lot of her, she’s in it for about 2 minutes near the beginning. She’s great in her tiny part, but blink and she’s gone.

The Possession of Michael King is available for digital download and on Region 1 DVD and Blu-ray from Anchor Bay.

Review by Stephanie Scaife

Alexandre Aja’s take on the Joe Hill novel Horns is a difficult sell and I imagine the reason it’s been floating around for so long is that it is a marketing department’s worst nightmare. The only way to describe it is as a realist magical murder mystery black comedy, and even that doesn’t really cover everything in this complex, genre-hopping movie. Sometimes there is a fine line between disaster and success, especially where a film attempts to do something different. Unfortunately Horns never quite veers into being entirely successful, even though there are many elements that I enjoyed.

Daniel Radcliffe stars as Ig, the primary suspect in the murder investigation of his girlfriend Merrin (Juno Temple) who one day starts to grow horns and develop supernatural powers, including the ability to get a person to confess to their darkest secrets. This sets him on a mission to solve the mystery of who the real killer is, as well as to discover that even his closest friends and family believe him to be guilty.

Radcliffe is desperately trying to prove himself as an actor by purposefully choosing unconventional roles (Kill Your Darlings) but whether or not he is actually a good actor remains to be seen, and although I find him incredibly likeable and admire what he is trying to do, I never fully buy into him as Ig, just as I never fully bought into him as Ginsberg; all I see is Daniel Radcliffe. This isn’t a criticism per se, I just feel like even though we’re getting good work from him, it’ll be a few more years until we’re seeing truly great work.

Horns is grotesque and funny, but it’s also too strange and dark and will unlikely play to Radcliffe’s fans nor admirers of Aja’s previous work (Switchblade Romance, The Hills Have Eyes). What we have here is a very adult genre hybrid that fits into a sort of Nordic noir-lite fantasy subgenre – but without being particularly scary or mysterious (I hadn’t read the book, but didn’t find it difficult to figure out who the killer was). Horns also tries very hard to be subversive without ever feeling truly original, and is often let down by tonal shifts that occasionally veer into silliness.

The flashbacks are perhaps the strongest element of Horns; they play out like a sort of 90’s Stand By Me where the kids listen to The Pixies, wear Nirvana shirts and bond whilst they dare each other to do stupid shit. This works well to set up the relationships between the characters, giving you something solid to invest in, and although a little whimsical it’s utterly endearing. The romance that blossoms between Ig and Merrin is always well played, heightened by the youthful sanguinity of a first love that makes it understated and believable.

The supporting cast is mostly very good, especially Heather Graham (who appears not to have aged in the last 20 years) who stars as a sinister waitress with some seriously dubious motivations that I had trouble fully buying in to. Max Minghella and Joe Anderson star as Ig’s lawyer/best friend and brother respectively, and Juno Temple is great as Merrin, proving her ability to elevate just about everything she stars in.

Horns is an easy film to admire but its flaws stop it from being truly great. I wanted to love it so much, but I just couldn’t. This is a fairly solid three star movie that looks great and has some wonderful moments, but when taken as a sum of all its parts Horns is disappointing and unfulfilling. Although Aja has never quite reached the dizzying heights of Switchblade Romance (Haute Tension) as a director, he has shown great skill as a filmmaker and his eye for the brutal and the unusual ensures that even when he misses the mark what he does is always at the very least interesting.

Horns is released in UK cinemas on 29 October 2014 and is currently available on VOD in the states.

Review by Ben Bussey

It’s putting things very mildly to say that I tend not to approach the latest direct-to-DVD found footage horror movie with the utmost confidence. I’ve been at this horror reviewing lark for about six years now, and in that time barely a month has gone by without another cut-price first-person shakey-cam effort crossing my path, and while the format has produced the occasional gem like the [REC] movies or Troll Hunter, the vast majority of it has proved to be worthless sludge. But, on occasion, just a little creativity can go a long way: a slightly less obvious setting and approach can make what is ostensibly the same old shit seem a whole lot fresher. This, I’m happy to report, is very much the case with Day of the Mummy. While at a glance it seems to follow the conventions of the contemporary found footage format, at heart it’s really more of an old-fashioned, swashbuckling boy’s own adventure; and despite the fact that they probably spent less money on this than they did on Rachel Weisz’s hair and make-up in 1999’s The Mummy, in many respects this cheap and cheerful effort is more enjoyable than the most recent entries in that blockbuster series.

For starters, how shit-sick are we all of every found footage movie being shown from the perspective of some wannabe filmmaker douchebag who can’t hold the camera still for more than 0.5 of a second, invariably has major hang-ups with the opposite sex, says “fuck” and “bro” at least twice in every sentence, then runs screaming in the face of danger? How about instead we see through the eyes of someone we might actually fantasise about being: a ballsy, have-a-go adventurer type? That’s the first smart move of Garry Charles’ script, giving us a time-honoured lovable rogue type in the central character of Jack Wells – who we first meet in the throes of a hotel threesome (very brief and not very explicit, I’m afraid). Actor William McNamara doesn’t exactly have the heroic good looks of a Harrison Ford, but that’s hardly too important as we don’t spend too long looking at his face.

Jack’s forced to send his two lady-friends to the next room when a mysterious package arrives at his door, and he finds himself talking via satellite link to elusive shady billionaire Danny Glover, who wants Jack to join an expedition in Egypt. Officially the team are heading out to investigate the tomb of a supposedly cursed king, but Glover has an ulterior motive: he wants Jack to locate a precious stone believed to be buried in the mummy’s tomb. To this end, Glover has supplied our hero with a pair of high-tech camera glasses – and, in another fairly neat twist, these glasses not only allow his rich benefactor to watch the action, but also to pop up and occasionally offer commentary, speaking directly into Jack’s ear without the rest of the team ever hearing or knowing anything about it. And so it is that Day of the Mummy achieves something exceedingly rare in found footage: it makes the first-person perspective feel entirely appropriate to the story. It also means that, rather than being the one-scene cameo I’d initially assumed it would be, Danny Glover is in fact a recurring presence throughout the film, more or less warranting his top billing. Very smart use of a big name actor who, from the look of things, probably only did two or three days work at most on the film.

It all unfolds in a predictably pulpy fashion; Jack-the-lad butts heads with Eric Young’s tightly-wound academic in charge of the mission, empties guns into local militants who get in their way, and romances Andrea Monier’s security officer (who seems to need rescuing a bit much for someone in her profession, but – once again – this is a boy’s own adventure, and these require a damsel in distress). Naturally the team wind up trapped in the underground tunnels that lead to the mummy’s tomb – and, as Jack struggles to locate both the treasure and the exit, it soon transpires they’re not alone down there. You don’t have to be an Egyptologist to work out what comes after them.

I think a big part of why I found myself enjoying Day of the Mummy far more than I’d expected is the simple fact that mummy movies are such a rarity. In many respects this isn’t too surprising; when all’s said and done they’re not too far removed from zombies, and dudes shuffling about wrapped in bandages do tend to look a bit goofy – which is certainly the case here, as you’ll have gathered from the top picture. Even so, given the light-hearted nature of proceedings here, the silliness of the monster really isn’t too great a hindrance. This is a carnival haunted house-type horror movie, designed to give you a good ride rather than truly get under your skin.

It’s disposable, and I doubt it’ll prove especially memorable, but for what it is Day of the Mummy is a perfectly respectable bit of fun, and well worth a look.

Day of the Mummy is out now on DVD from Image Entertainment.

Review by Matt Harries

Big Dumb Fun. Maybe the three words I’d use to describe this slab of low ambition bunkum. Sometimes big dumb fun is okay though, and for ticking most of the boxes of low budget horror The Butchers at least scores a bonus point. And although I would stop some way short of recommending you go out of your way to watch it, I reckon there’s a fair swathe of you who might stumble upon it in a late-night post-pub scenario and find yourself watching it with a grin on your face.

After a flashback dream sequence reveals former soldier Simon’s disturbing past, we become acquainted with the bus load of caricatures who form the majority of the cast. You’ve got your religious nuts, your druggies, the jock, the chicken-loving fat black woman – they’re all there, not forgetting of course the bimbos and a couple of ‘normal’ types thrown for good measure. Being on a bus in a horror film means certain mechanical doom, and the inevitable breakdown soon follows. One of the passengers finds a sign lying in the undergrowth, pointing the way to a bizarre attraction situated somewhere up the road – the Death Factory. Despite this somewhat insalubrious sounding venue the group have no choice but to head there in the hopes of finding a phone and a way to continue their journey.

The Death Factory, it transpires, has yet to open its doors to the unsuspecting public. Yet there has been one visitor. JB (Semi Anthony) is a mysterious well dressed figure who is shown around the place by owner The Collector (Randall Bosley). The Collector has put his heart and soul into opening perhaps the world’s first serial killer museum, filled with the blood soaked implements of death and torture belonging to several of the most infamous killers in history; Jack the Ripper, Albert Fish, Jeffrey Dahmer, Ed Gein, and Ed Kemper. Yet although the Collector thinks JB desires to purchase this unseemly swathe of real estate, he in fact harbours greater ambitions, mired in occult ritual and the resurrection of these killers onto the earthly plane. After dispatching the Collector he prepares to invoke these dark spirits, when along come our friends from the bus to throw a spanner in the works.

Still with me? I’m sure there are a few stragglers still here, shaking their heads with knowing smiles as they picture the ludicrous scene and its heady blend of nonsense. The Butchers takes a selection of your favourite cliches and conventions, grinds it into mincemeat and launches it unceremoniously on to the barbecue. The resulting burger is predictably bloody and prone to falling apart when prodded with an investigative finger, but when you need a greasy plate of food (as I said, after the pub) it’s best to go for cheap and familiar pleasures. So we have a handful of notorious murderers chasing a handful of idiots around the arse-end of nowhere, and a main villain who dabbles in the kind of occult that comes in big hide-bound books. What’s not to love? Don’t think for a minute that the gibberish stops there though. We also have a slathering of soft-core lesbian sex, a liberal sprinkling of cheap, predictable laughs, and a good dash of cheap ketchup-y looking blood. It’s all pretty camp and mainly good fun, but certainly not in good taste.

I think it’s too late to abandon the food metaphor now. Yes, go on, you’re going to have to lap up every last gristly morsel, even if it means somehow swallowing the ludicrous twist that sees Jack the Ripper unmasked as a woman, replete with a badly dubbed hokey English accent. To balance out that nonsense we have the amusement of watching the serial killers battling for kills using their fists, very much in the manner of Evil Dead. Seeing old Albert Fish engaged in a stand up fight with tattooed hero Simon (Damian Puckler), and landing a few swinging blows along the way, is plain silly and quite funny. As with many films these days the fight co-ordinator likes to throw in plenty of UFC-derived martial arts into the mix, so we see ground and pound, wrestling and jiu-jitsu techniques thrown in with the stabbing knives and swinging sickles. And continuing the modern trends there seems to be potential for a sequel, although I think I’ll pass on that particular course.

At only 1 hour 20 minutes long The Butchers is undemanding and mainly reasonable fun, and doesn’t take itself too seriously. Those whose cinematic palette demands refinement may wish to avoid. It’s not the kind of thing you’d usually enjoy sober.

The Butchers is out on DVD and VOD on 11th November.

Review by Stephanie Scaife

This is one of the worst films I’ve ever seen, and why it has been deemed a cult classic that warrants the Arrow Video treatment is completely beyond me. I can only assume that it is a direct result of Rick Baker’s make-up work because everything else is almost entirely unwatchable. I expect straight-to-DVD releases with stock image covers that you see in the supermarket for £3 to be shit, but I honestly expected more from this. Originally intended as a spoof by director William Sachs, The Incredible Melting Man fell afoul of producers who wanted it to be a straight horror film, resulting in much meddling and re-editing, the result of which is that it is unfortunately neither funny nor frightening and instead is nigh-on impossible to make any sense of, let alone enjoy. It was no surprise to find out that it has popped up on the ranks of IMDb’s Bottom 100.

What there is of a plot concerns Steve West (Alex Rebar), an astronaut who returns home from a mission to Saturn with some sort of radioactive disease that causes his skin to melt off, and a craving for human flesh. After awakening in hospital Steve attacks a nurse, in what is one of the weirdest scenes of the film: an extended sequence of the nurse fleeing in slow motion before jumping though a glass door (why she didn’t just open it is a mystery) before Steve appears behind her and attacks her. It is one of the most absurd things I’d ever seen… until later in the film where Burr DeBenning, who stars as the doctor pursuing Steve, complains to his wife about the lack of crackers to have with his soup. This occurs of course when an incredibly dangerous and radioactive man is tearing around killing and eating everyone that he comes across. I guess these are perhaps the remnants of when this was supposed to be a comedy, but because they are now set to a deadly serious score and an overall dark tone it just doesn’t work, and because everything is so tonally all over the place it makes it very difficult to become invested in any of the characters, or even really understand what or why anything happens.

I know that obviously this is a very silly film that is impossible to take seriously, and some seem to take great joy in just how bad it is. But for me it does not fall into the so-bad-it’s-good category, so much as being just plain bad… and boring… and let’s just not mention the gratuitous nudity. Perhaps I’m missing something, but to me this was badly acted, poorly scripted and because it was chopped to pieces by producers it is so full of plot holes that it is almost entirely impossible to follow. Rick Baker’s special effects are perhaps the only saving grace, and even then they are flawed due to the lack of continuity and the fact that what was supposed to be a gradual four-stage transformation into gloop jumps back and forth during the course of the film.

Even with the lovingly put together packaging and extras I would not recommend this unless you are a true Arrow Video completist.

The Incredible Melting Man is available now on Blu-ray from Arrow Video.

Review by Ben Bussey

Chris Sivertsen and Lucky McKee teaming up to make a teen-oriented supernatural horror comedy always was a very peculiar proposition. Sure, it’s a remake of a largely unseen low-budget film which they first made together way back in 2001, but both writer-directors have since gone on to make their names on a considerably more grounded, thoughtful and topical brand of horror with one foot in the novels of Jack Ketchum. Still, when All Cheerleaders Die was announced in 2012 there was a certain logic to the duo trying their hand at something which on paper sounds like a pretty easy sell. After all, while both filmmakers made a huge splash in the indie horror scene with their respective breakthroughs (Sivertsen’s The Lost and McKee’s May), they also both went on to get somewhat burned by Hollywood with their studio follow-ups (I Know Who Killed Me and The Woods), and have arguably enjoyed more lows than highs in their respective careers since.

Of course, one particular shadow hangs most ominously over All Cheerleaders Die: that of McKee’s last movie, The Woman. I’ll be comparing and contrasting these two films in detail ahead, and in doing so there will be spoilers for both films. (For a spoiler-free appraisal of All Cheerleaders Die, see Tristan’s write-up from Abertoir 2011.)

The Woman remains divisive. I’d been hugely impressed by it at FrightFest 2011, yet in the aftermath I found myself unable to defend the film from the slew of negative write-ups (including Keri’s) which decried it as deliberately courting controversy for its own sake. I decided to revisit The Woman (for the first time since) before writing this review, and yes, there’s no question that it’s a thoroughly contrived effort to whip up debate among chin-stroking intellectuals – but even so, I must admit it’s still a film I feel some affection for. Whilst it was largely sold and accepted as an ultra-grim psychological drama with torture porn leanings, I think in truth it’s more of a sick black comedy – but either way, it was plainly and clearly a feminist parable. Yes, its message was very simple and mindblowingly unsubtle – men oppressing women is bad, d’uh – yet, sad as it is to say, that’s something that a great many people in this world still need to get their thick heads around. Watching The Woman last week, I couldn’t hear Sean Bridgers defend his son’s molestation of the woman (“boys will be boys”) without thinking of Stubenville; nor could I hear his insanely OTT anti-female rant from the final act without thinking of this ridiculous ‘Gamergate’ bullshit, and the dickless worm who threatened to shoot up a college if they didn’t cancel a lecture from feminist critic Anita Sarkeesian. The fact that both these events (and there are many more we could mention) have occurred since The Woman was released simply underlines that, like it or not, the film’s message about misogyny remains very relevant indeed.

And at heart, All Cheerleaders Die is dealing with exactly the same thing. It chooses a more marketable, popcorn-friendly premise with which to present it, and dolls it up with a fair bit more eye candy, but the anti-patriarchy standpoint is still clear as day, even if it tends to get a little lost within a somewhat ragtag tumble of themes and subplots which threaten to derail the whole endeavour.

All publicity materials for this film, from the first poster with its ‘revenge is a bitch’ slogan to the cover art for the British DVD (which I can’t say I’m the biggest fan of – the cheerleader uniform doesn’t match those worn in the film for one thing), have emphasised that All Cheerleaders Die is a revenge story – and we learn within the first few minutes that bookish girl-turned-newbie cheerleader Maddy (Caitlin Stasey) has infiltrated the upper echelons of high school hierarchy in order to avenge herself against football captain Terry (Tom Williamson). However, it’s hard to get especially invested in Maddy’s scheme, as the reason she’s seeking revenge doesn’t become clear until late in the day, and in the meantime gets rather sidelined by the cheerleaders being killed in a car wreck only to be magically resurrected as bloodthirsty ghouls (they’re not exactly zombies or vampires – sticklers for monster archetypes may get a headache). Throw in a sort-of love triangle and a body swap subplot, and it all gets a bit much to take in. Not having seen the original film I obviously can’t comment on how close this new version plays, yet there’s so much about this that screams “first screenplay” (although, for instance, references to Facebook obviously wouldn’t have been in the 2001 film) – or perhaps the haphazard structure and often jarring shifts in tone are more down to this being a collaboration between directors who have subsequently gotten used to working alone.

I also can’t help but feel that, perhaps owing to the politically correct tendencies evident in their earlier work, McKee and Sivertsen are holding back a little on the sleaze (a number of noteworthy butt shots notwithstanding – see below). Let’s face it, no one goes into a movie about high school cheerleaders coming back from the dead with a thirst for human blood and expects a sensitive character piece; you go in expecting another Sorority Row or Piranha 3D, an unabashedly titillating romp which willingly embraces its inherent trashiness. All Cheerleaders Die, however, is doing its best to have it both ways (hurhurhur); to play well to McKee and Sivertsen’s existing indie horror following, and to a more mainstream crowd at the same time. It just about gets away with it, though there are some pretty glaring problems.

Case in point: as with May and his Masters of Horror episode Sick Girl, McKee once again presents us with a lesbian narrative. Particularly when it’s a male filmmaker with a repeated interest in telling stories about gay women, we can’t help but ask whether there’s a genuine interest in promoting a positive representation of homosexuality, or if the director is just turned on by watching girls make out. Again, All Cheerleaders Die looks to have its cake and eat it (there’s an ‘eat it’ joke in there somewhere, heheh…) The problem is, where there should be a central love triangle we have a gaping hole (heheh… I’m not doing this on purpose, I swear). During the relatively grounded opening 40 minutes, a relationship builds between Maddy and squad captain Tracy (Brooke Butler), whilst Maddy’s embittered ex Leena (Sianoa Smit-McPhee) stares on heartbroken. Yet all this goes out the window once the supernatural element comes into play, and Leena’s magic crystals bring the dead cheerleaders back to life; Tracy suddenly becomes a two-dimensional bloodthirsty bimbo, and the romance with Maddy is entirely forgotten as Leena comes back into the picture. We’re supposed to feel happy that the right people ended up together in the final scene, but I couldn’t help feeling I’d missed something somewhere amongst the quagmire of other story threads: on which note, the sisters Amanda Grace Cooper and Reanin Johannink inadvertently swapping bodies when Leena’s crystals revive them was perhaps a subplot too many, even if it did give us the film’s only sex scene – and some of the funniest lines (“I didn’t know that it’s cold in there!”)

But as I said, this is all pretty much window dressing on what is essentially another Woman-esque tale of male oppression. The set-up may seem like Linnea Quigley material, but the antagonist is pure Jack Ketchum: another overconfident slimeball whose calm exterior masks a violent, misogynistic sociopath. Newcomer Tom Williamson does an awesome job here as the alpha male, and there are clear echoes of The Woman’s Chris Cleek in the way he leads by intimidation without generally showing force. Much like the Cleeks, the ‘dogs’ of All Cheerleaders Die are clearly well aware that their figurehead is completely insane, yet all are too afraid to lift a finger; the most startling demonstration of this coming shortly before the car crash scene, when Tracy puts Terry down in front of his friends and he punches her in the face. This, I’m sure, will be the most talked about scene of the film – and sadly, I expect there will be many viewers who say Tracy had it coming.  Above all, the scene underlines another key message this film shares with The Woman – those complicit in oppression are every bit as guilty as the perpetrators. While the ‘dogs’ do not cheer Terry on or join in, they don’t intervene or say a word in protest either. As such, the ultimate death of the ostensibly well-meaning dog Vik (Jordan Wilson) directly echoes that of Angela Bettis in The Woman: if you see wrong-doing, have the chance to intervene and don’t, then – well – you’re going to get eaten.

So, okay, McKee and Sivertsen have succeeded in once again showing us that misogyny sucks – but have they necessarily succeeded in creating a comedy horror destined for cult status? Well, All Cheerleaders Die certainly is a unique film, and its uneven nature is ultimately part of its charm, but I can’t avoid the sense that it simply isn’t funny or trashy enough to really deliver on its premise. It also doesn’t help that it’s clearly a pretty low budget affair: though it looks great, it feels a bit small scale. The absence of any actual football game scenes or fully choreographed cheer sequences does feel a bit glaring given the set-up; and, while the finale is suitably violent, I wouldn’t have minded something a bit bigger, with more outlandish supernatural goings-on and collateral damage. Again, this is a living dead cheerleaders movie – not the sort of movie from which we expect restraint. Yet because they didn’t go quite as out there as they could have, I somehow doubt this will wind up spawning the sequel which the conclusion humourously points toward – although, if it does, I’d be happy to see more, so long as they’re prepared to really cut loose next time.

Still – any way you look at it, All Cheerleaders Die is much more fun than The Woman. Not that this was ever a question, really.

Bare bones DVD, with no extras but the trailer.

All Cheerleaders Die is released to Region 2 DVD on 27th October 2014, from Spirit Entertainment.

By Svetlana Fedotov

Okay, I’ll admit it, I’m a little late getting on the Wytches train. Somehow, among all the comics and graphic novels that grace my table and despite all the hype (I even wrote an article about a Wytches movie adaption), this particularly nasty little read managed to slip right by me. Well, better than late never, I suppose. Released October 8, Wytches has been blowing up the comic scene with its original horror story of dark magic and malevolent forces. Of course, it helps that it’s penned by one of the most talented writers in the industry, Scott Snyder, and with Image at the helm, he’s free to go as ape-shit on it as he likes. To put it in perspective, this is the man who tore off the Joker’s face in Batman: Death of the Family, forever altering the unfathomable madness of the Clown Prince of Crime. Yeah, it’s that good.

Wytches centers around a family called the Rooks, particularly the daughter of the father, mother, child combo, Sailor Rooks. Having just left their previous town after an incident involving young Sky, the family attempts to start over in the mom’s homestead. Of course, life is never that easy, as strange things start happening almost as soon as they arrive, such as a deer crashing into their living room and vomiting up blood and some spooky motherfucker crawling out of the woods. As Sailor aims to escape her past, she is quickly reminded of it when she attempts to befriend another girl. As it turns out, something quite strange happened to Sailor, something involving a bully, the woods, and an ancient power intent on protecting her and this particular oddity has followed her home. I could tell you more, but I would hate to ruin the surprise.

To make a long story short, this comic is awesome. Granted, I might be biased as I am a slave to anything with the Snyder stamp on it, but I’m pretty sure that it’s still really awesome. First off, the concept of having witches as animalistic creatures is a great idea. He does to witches what 30 Days of Night did for vampires; takes away all the sex and glitter and leaves behind a wild monster in the woods. It makes witches scary again, who, by the way, haven’t been scary since that Nancy chick from The Craft. Though it does make me wonder if there will be any backlash from the Wiccan/Pagan community, but since I’m definitely not in the position to speak on behalf of creative freedom versus religion, I’m just going to glide right over that issue.

Also, the characters are fantastically fleshed out, even for a first issue. We are immediately treated to a real family who does quirky family things together. Despite the horror elements, Snyder doesn’t ignore the need to create actual people with actual obstacles, giving the mom a wheelchair (with a hint of a gruesome back story) and the dad a job as a comic book author. Everyone has a very natural existence and their interactions with each other plays on that kind of self-awareness, which makes the scary parts even more terrifying. You can root all you want for them to come out unscathed, but you know bad things are on their way.

The art by Jock is just the cherry on top of an already delicious sundae. He adds a great tint of macabre to the pages with his streaked shadows and angular faces, yet still manages to maintain the finer points of comic layout that I’m such a stickler for. I’m especially digging the designs of the witches themselves as Jock digs deep into the lore of mountain folk and wild children to create a very original look.

With Wytches already flying of shelves faster than a bat out of a witch’s crotch, this comic is set to set a new standard in horror.