Yes, a cast like that seems guaranteed to make any new movie a must-see for horror fans; and the fact that it’s a low budget, cinema-bypassing production shouldn’t be too big of a deal given the bulk of these performers have done their best work within that arena. However, the definition of a low-budget straight-to-video movie in the 80s, or even the 90s, is pretty far removed from what constitutes a DTV cheapie these days. I know it seems small-minded to pin the downward spiral of ultra low budget indie horror on the move to digital photography, but having seen far, far more of such films than any decent human being should in this past decade, and having been for the most part distinctly underwhelmed by what I’ve seen, I find it hard not to conclude that digital filmmaking really does lack the soul that real film brought to the process. How else do we explain just how lifeless, flat and tedious so many of these movies wind up being?
This film is so sloppily assembled it leaves you struggling to get any sense of what the hell is meant to be going on. After a bewildering introduction with Tony Todd spilling forth erudite threats whilst kidnapping a young woman, followed by our first meeting with Kane Hodder as a neo-Nazi cult leader, we ultimately find ourselves in the Death House, some sort of hi-tech, privately owned maximum security prison which utilises virtual reality technology in a bid to study the mind of evil, the reported intent being to eradicate evil completely with this knowledge. Barbara Crampton and Dee Wallace are the key scientists conducting this research, and they set about inducting two new agents – young hotshots Boon (Cortney Palm) and Novak (Cody Longo) – into their strange, brave new world. However, whilst these researchers are within the bowels of the Death House, an unexpected attack knocks out the software completely, leaving the killers housed within free to get out and seek their freedom, plus any bloody revenge they can get along the way, with Hodder’s wannabe führer leading the assault.
Obviously there’s a lot to be said for SF-tinged horror exploring abstract ideas; I’d certainly be curious to read Hansen’s original story (the late actor was also quite the wordsmith in his own right). However, despite the best efforts of its ever-reliable cast, Death House falls flat at every turn. Smith’s script and direction are borderline incoherent, and it doesn’t help that he has neither the vision nor the budget for the large scale, Paul WS Anderson-esque action-horror spectacle the film clearly aspires to (insert your own joke about whether anyone should actually seek to emulate PWSA). It also doesn’t help that the actual leads of the film are the less than stellar Palm and Longo, and aside from Crampton, Wallace and Hodder, the big names are for the most part little more than cameos, with only a handful of lines between them. Brinke Stevens is pretty much treated as an extra, and you’d be forgiven for missing her completely; Gunnar Hansen’s appearance is so brief and tangential it barely registers; Debbie Rochon and Tiffany Shepis I don’t remember seeing at all until their names popped up in the end credits. Adrienne Barbeau fans might also feel a little cheated, as she doesn’t actually appear at all, simply providing a computer voice – yes, just like she did in The Thing. Nor is this the only overt reference to another horror movie which Death House crams in, and I wish I could say such moments add a bit of wit to proceedings but… guess what.
It may be jam-packed with stars, and have a pretty high gore and nudity quota; but hey, so does the filmography of Uwe Boll. And – yes, I’m gonna go there – I daresay Boll would have done a better job with this material than B Harrison Smith has done here. Many old school horror fans will doubtless be lured in by the cast, but let me urge you not to take the bait on this one.
Death House is available on VOD in the US now, with a DVD release to follow on December 11th, from Cleopatra Entertainment.