Review by Ben Bussey
Quoth the Bard, “what’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet.” But then, old Bill never hit upon this cracker, did he? Yup, as memorable monikers go, Ernesto Diaz Espinoza’s film definitely has a bit of an edge from the get-go. Throw in the many tantalising images which have been lighting up the internet for more than a year, showing actress Fernanda Urrejola almost wearing a very eye-catching costume, and hey presto – you’ve got a movie which your average, shallow, flesh-hungry fanboy types (e.g. me) are immediately gagging to see.
Still, I think I’ve grown up enough to keep my expectations in check with these things; Tristan’s distinctly lukewarm review earlier this year, along with a largely muted reception out of FrightFest definitely helped in that regard. So I was hardly taken aback to find on sitting down to watch Bring Me the Head of the Machine Gun Woman (in the preferred viewing time of the midnight hour on a Friday night) that it isn’t really all that. Fun? Sure. Memorable? Not especially. Anything we haven’t seen before? You really don’t need to ask that one…
Of course, the first thing that really has to be emphasised about Bring Me the Head of the Machine Gun Woman is – it isn’t about the Machine Gun Woman. It’s the story of a guy named Santiago (Matias Oviedo). That’s the guy pictured at the top. Find him as enticing as the lady on the cover art pictured left? I’m guessing not. Tough, because you’ll be seeing a great deal more of him than of her. Yep, that old ‘sex sells’ trick in action yet again.
As you might expect, Santiago is a nerdy, insecure twentysomething who still lives at home with his mother and gets most of his action from videogames. However, he also DJs at a club that just happens to be run by a gangster, the humourously named Che Sausage (Jorge Alis). When our wimpish audience identification figure happens to overhear the boss ordering a hit, his life is immediately in jeoprady – unless he can make good on his desperate offer to hunt down the wanted party himself. No mean feat, considering the target is – but of course – the deadliest woman who ever lived.
You know how it’s going to go down straight away. Standard male wish fulfillment territory: weedy manchild gets to play tough guy, crosses paths with stone cold fantasy female, proves the only one capable of melting her heart, gets in her pants, and joins forces with her to massacre the macho assholes who kept them both down. Hmm… maybe I should have given a spoiler warning there. But, like I said, it’s painfully apparent from the beginning that things will proceed in that manner.
Does this predictability impede the fun? Not necessarily. So long as you go in not expecting to be surprised, it’s all cool and the gang. As neo-grindhouse movies go, this is a really very mild one – and honestly, I’m quite glad of that. Many such movies, like Hobo With a Shotgun and Dear God No, have relied quite heavily on shock tactics, and there are certainly moments when Machine Gun Woman could easily have done the same, but no; the only people who really suffer are the ones who really deserve it, and the gore and nudity quota is actually pretty low. In fact, I’m a little surprised that – contrary to the cover art above – the BBFC have slapped Machine Gun Woman with an 18 certificate; I certainly don’t see anything harsher here than in, say, this summer’s 15-rated Kick-Ass 2. Ah, but when one film comes from independent Chilean filmmakers, and the other from Universal Pictures…
Problem is, this comparative mildness might mean exploitation enthusiasts will feel shortchanged. I gather it may also set the movie pretty far apart from the Grand Theft Auto games on which it’s said to be modelled – though as potentially the only male human being in the western hemisphere who’s never played a GTA game, I couldn’t honestly say. I did find the movie’s chapter structure – each presented as a video game mission which our player Santiago either succeeds or fails – to be a cute touch, reminiscent of Edgar Wright. It might have got tedious had the film dragged on too long, but as it has the good grace to clock in at a comfortable 75 minutes, we should have no such complaints.
So, while Bring Me the Head of the Machine Gun Woman isn’t really anything special, it’s all passable enough for an undemanding evening’s entertainment, with a likeable enough leading man, despicable enough baddies, and – in case you missed it – a heroine who’s plenty easy on the eye. As ever, if you’ve seen the trailer (embedded once again below) then you’ve seen most of the best bits, but if you do choose to see it in its entirety it shouldn’t leave you too disappointed, so long as you’re not expecting much.
Bring Me the Head of the Machine Gun Woman is out on Region 2 DVD and Blu-ray on 14th October, from Clear Vision.