Review by Ben Bussey
“Oh please… make it stop! Make this throbbing stop!”
That’s it. End of review. If those two lines of dialogue alone (and the photograph above) don’t sell Vampire Ecstasy to you, then there’s really nothing more to be said. Bye-bye.
Okay, okay, I’ll let you in on a bit of the plot. Okay. Er… wait, it’ll come back to me. Something about… tits. Wait, no. Well, yes, there are tits involved, lots and lots of them, but that’s not all that happens in the film, obviously. There’s… er… characters and stuff. Who show their tits a lot. But I digress. So, there’s this medieval castle that was once home to a crazy randy queen of the undead type, whose reign of terror involved much ravaging of the local virgins, and baring of tits and so forth. Her terrifying, tit-fondling ways were ended when she was burned at the stake: but crucially, as is emphasised, not with a wooden stake through the heart. Therefore, though her fabulous tit-weilding body may have been destroyed, her undead soul was not vanquished.
Fast forward to the 1970s, and some guests arrive at the castle, most of them young ladies, as one of them is in line to inherit the old place. However, whoever this young lady is, she’s also the reincarnation of the vampire queen, although she doesn’t know it. And the housekeeping staff of the castle, while they may appear very stern in their black, matronly outfits, are in fact a coven of saucy witches who head down to their dungeon every evening to dance around with their tits out covered in body paint. Their primary objective, aside from shaking their paint-spattered tits about (as evidenced by the photo above), is to bring back their undead mistress, in the body of the aforementioned young lady. But which young lady could it be? There’s only one way to find out – for absolutely everybody to show their tits.
Oh alright, alright. Vampire Ecstasy has more to it than just tits. There’s a lot of full-frontal and rear nudity as well. This was 1974, after all.
You get the general idea. Directed by prolific skin flick maetro Joseph Sarno, Vampire Ecstasy – AKA Veil of Blood, AKA The Devil’s Plaything (once again, this was 1974) – is your classic Eurotrash ‘horrotica’ midnight movie. While gothic-tinged soft porn movies weren’t thin on the ground in 70s Europe, this one is fairly unusual in that it isn’t dubbed; the German cast deliver all their dialogue on camera in English, though it seems safe to assume none of them were native English speakers. The brief interview with the late Sarno on the disc makes for fairly amusing viewing, as he talks in very respectful tones about the professionalism of his cast and the artistry of his crew, waxing lyrical on just about everything but the fact that his film is overflowing with tits. But, credit where it’s due, he comes off genuine, and there’s no denying the film’s aesthetic pleasures are not limited to the abundance of tits. It’s a well shot, well lit film, with that distinct atmosphere of 70s Gothic horror, making good use of the real castle location. Although, obviously, the abundance of tits certainly doesn’t hurt.
On top of which, there’s at least one bona fide iconic performance here in the form of Nadia Henkowa as Wanda Krock, both chief housekeeper and high priestess of the saucy tits-out coven. What makes her so surprisingly effective an antagonist is that she’s every bit as convincing as a schoolmarmish ice maiden as she is an unbridled sex maniac witch. S&M types should be in hog heaven, as she’s a harsh mistress indeed, and her punishments are of a sexual kind, replete with plentiful malevolent murmurings about magic that makes your juices burn hotter than hell and sets your nipples on fire – hence the plea of the suffering young woman quoted earlier. Yep, there’s much writhing around in exquisite agony here, and the bouyant Marie Forså and Ulrike Butz make for jolly good butt-naked writher-arounders. And if things weren’t already kinky enough, we’ve got the brother and sister parapsychologists Anke Syring and Nico Wolf, who struggle to divide their attention between their mission to stop the reincarnation of the vampire queen, and their underlying incestuous desire for one another. Wow, the only way things could get pervier would be if the witches had candles shaped exactly like erect penises. Oh wait, they do.
YES, THAT’S A CANDLE.
Seriously this time – end of review.
Simply put, if you like Euro, 70s, Gothic and – oh yeah – tits, then you’d do well to give Vampire Ecstasy a spin in the wee small hours. And if I still haven’t persauded you, this magnificent appraisal does a far better job than I ever could; read that and see if you’re not finally sold.
Oh, and I did mention there were tits…?
Vampire Ecstasy will be released on Region 2 DVD on 21st January, from Mediumrare Entertainment. (And I sincerely hope they fix the spelling on the cover…)