Joe Dante is an interesting director. He’s worked almost entirely in the mainstream, on movies that are ‘family entertainment’ – sometimes for Spielberg, sometimes for other highly corporate filmmakers. His films are often glossy, expensive-looking affairs. He, and his movies, ought to be very annoying. Yet I find myself really enjoying his movies, albeit as passing fancies – Gremlins is great, Gremlins 2 is possibly even greater, The Hole is fantastic, and even though The ‘Burbs winds up as a QAnon fantasy brought to life, it’s still excellent up to those last five minutes or so.
And then we have Small Soldiers, which feels a bit like a reboot of Gremlins – a suburban street is invaded by tiny monsters – and perhaps more than most of his movies ought to be an annoying teen fantasy, laden as it is with CGI effects and just enough violence to get a PG-13, but not enough to upset anyone. In essence, Small Soldiers ought to be the sort of cynical rubbish that the various sub-divisions of Disney grind out every summer.
That it isn’t is almost certainly down to Dante, who brings an entertaining sense of cynicism to the story and fills it with amusing side characters, played by the likes of Dick Miller. The story itself deals with the end results of using military-grade microprocessors to enhance toys – after weapons contractor Globotech buys the Heartland toy company (no subtlety in the names there) and new boss Dennis Leary, playing the sort of bastard he always seems to play, demands more realism in the products. These chips don’t just enhance the toys, they effectively bring them to life. The monstrous, alien creatures known as Gorgonites are peace-loving eccentrics, but the crew-cutted GI Joe-style Commando Elite figures designed as their enemies are a different kettle of fish, and are soon out to kill the “Gorgonite scum” and anyone else who stands in their way. That means teenager Alan Abernathy (Gregory Smith) and his neighbour and crush Christy (Kirsten Dunst), after Alan foolishly persuades delivery man Joe (Dick Miller) to slip him a crateful of the toys early to sell in his dad’s toy shop.
The film is, on the one hand, standard teen action fare – there are lots of explosions, just-violent-enough battles with the Commando Elite and the kids saving the day as their wacky parents bumble around. But Dante avoids the mean-spirited nature and faux sentimentality of a lot of these films. Alan is a misfit, but not so much so that the point is laboured; Christy’s boyfriend isn’t the unpleasant bully that you might expect. The relationships feel real, and even the adults – while still played as buffoons a lot of the time – seem more realistic than in most films like this. As for the small soldiers themselves… well, the Commando Elite (played by cast members of The Dirty Dozen, a fun little in-joke lost on the target audience, I imagine) are suitably right-wing and psychotic, while the Gorgonites have just enough charm and dignity to override some of the slapstick that they are involved in. They are, of course, much more fun visually than the commandos, and immediately much more appealing as characters. It perhaps says something about some film critics that at the time of the film’s original release, some were surprised that the bad guys would be the militaristic humans. Despite the violent action, this is definitely one of Dante’s lighter films – the digs at the military aside, there isn’t the edgy nature or dark comedy of some of his other movies here. Instead, it’s just a fun romp that isn’t going to upset anyone (well, maybe army types) and is consistently entertaining. It doesn’t feel like a film of any real significance, but as something to sit down and watch with the family on a Sunday afternoon, it’s better than a lot of stuff out there.