Darren’s Top 10 Horror Movies of 2023!


Pandemonium

Every year there’s always some comment about how it’s been a terrible one for horror movies, and every year I think “What have those people been watching”? The genre rarely fails to deliver terror of all types and, as usual, narrowing the field down to my favourite ten (plus five honourable mentions) has been just as a tricky a task as it proved in previous years.

The rules are simple; the film has to be a new (or new-ish) release which I saw this year. I have watched a lot of horror but I would need to clone myself to see every movie available, so don’t get too disheartened if your particular favourite does not appear in the list below and comfort yourself that there are no clones of me running about.

As there is only one of me, the titles I have not viewed include When Evil Lurks and Brooklyn ’45, both of which I suspect would have been strong contenders. You’ll also notice that I generally don’t gravitate towards big studio movies but that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy The Pope’s Exorcist, because I did. It just didn’t make the upper echelons. If Russell Crowe and his moped are given a chance to return in a sequel, I will be there. Enough of my rambling: on with the list, which is in purely alphabetical order (after the one with the hashtag in its title) …

#CHADGETSTHEAXE

I’ll happily admit that I’m not the biggest fan of found footage films and yet this year has provided a handful of genuinely innovative and entertaining examples of the subgenre, avoiding the usual malaise of expecting the viewer to wait half of the movie for something to actually happen. Travis Bible’s flick also manages to pull off the neat trick of making a quartet of influencers interesting and ultimately sympathetic, with an all too realistic chorus of onscreen comments accompanying the action.

Following four social media celebs on a trip to Devil’s Manor, a house which was the site of a cult killing, it doesn’t take a genius to predict things will go horribly wrong, which they do. The balance of fun and fear is maintained throughout and although its targets may be reasonably easy ones, the skewering of the egos of online fame chasers and their pursuit of ever increasing views and likes is skilfully done, thanks to finely honed performances and a knowing screenplay from Bible and Kemerton Hargrove.

THE COFFEE TABLE

Caye Casas’ audience baiter hinges on a moment which must not be spoiled at any cost, and so the most I can tell you is that it’s about a bloke who buys a coffee table, much to the chagrin of his wife, and then…something utterly dreadful happens. And when I say dreadful, I mean dreadful. I’m talking ‘potential walkout and questioning the director’s sanity’ dreadful. No spoilers from here; I just wish I were in the room to watch your reaction.

A head-spinning combination of the heart-stoppingly tense and the oddly hilarious, The Coffee Table places its audience into a heightened state of anxiety in an unexpectedly prompt manner and then proceeds to turn the screw for the next hour or so, revelling to a masochistic degree in the escalating awfulness. Folks who aren’t fans of the genre will be looking for the exit within minutes of the opening shot. Folks who are fans of the genre might also find this a bit much, which is both a resounding recommendation and a warning. Keeping its worst visual excesses in the shadows, you’re still in for a memorable, psychological doing over.

FALLING STARS

A trio of brothers head to the graveyard of a witch and then wish they hadn’t in Gabriel Bienczycki and Richard Karpala’s cautionary, rural tale which brings to mind the sci-fi stylings of Benson and Moorhead in the way its contained, precisely detailed world is portrayed. It’s a triumph of obtaining maximum value from minimum resources, allowing for excellent physical effects work where necessary, but also demonstrating a mastery of offscreen terror.

Shaun Duke Jr., Andrew Gabriel and Rene Leech convince as the siblings, Karpala’s script establishing the hierarchy and the banter between them, which then plays pleasingly into how each of them deals with – and is expected to deal with – the escalating menace. Meanwhile, a local radio DJ (played by J. Aaron Boykin) provides The Fog-esque counterpoints to the town’s obsession with placating the peril from above. The budget may have determined the way in which the climax plays out and it’s all the better for it, hitting far harder than I imagined it would.

GODZILLA MINUS ONE

A late entry to this list (and one which led to me agonising over which movie had to drop out of the Top Ten), there can be no more fitting lead-in to next year’s 70th anniversary of kaiju’s most prominent figure than Takashi Yamazaki’s 1940s-set stunner. Failed kamikaze pilot Koichi Shikishima (Ryunosuke Kamiki) returns in disgrace to a wrecked home and a country ravaged by the Second World War. Can he regain his honour by battling a new threat to the population?

Wisely eschewing the jokey tone of those US-made Godzilla films, Yamazaki’s take on the legend provides plenty of destructive action but also delves deep into the psyche of a post-war Japan via a roster of memorable characters, who rise far above being the easily labelled bad guys in a global conflict. Exciting, scary and with several brutal, emotional punches along the way, this is unrelentingly impressive on every level.

HALFWAY HOME

Described in the Soho Horror Festival blurb as ‘When Harry Met Sally for necrophiliacs’ this is, in fact, a truly delightful horror fantasy from Hungary in which morgue employee Krisztián fights to save the soul of – and hopefully re-animate – recently deceased love interest Ági. Heading in completely the opposite direction to Nekromantik (did I hear sighs of relief?), this is a fun, sweet, delicately dark adventure populated by engaging supporting characters, including a scene-stealing goat and an outlandish, panto style villain.

Making the most of its unusual premise to allow for amusing diversions and side quests for our hero, Halfway Home mounts its set pieces in a beautifully designed environment and there’s expert physical comedy to be found, in addition to heart strings being tugged (when the bad guy isn’t attempting to rip them out). Péter Bárnai and Vivien Rujder are wonderful as the odd couple and if this doesn’t leave you with a smile on your face you probably have a date with a chilled locker at Krisztián’s place of work.

NEW LIFE

A fresh, fiercely intelligent take on both infection and hunter/hunted movies, writer/director John Rosman’s assured debut sees expert fixer Elsa Gray (Sonya Walger) on a mission to track down a young woman (played by Hayley Erin) before she makes it across the border from the U.S. to Canada. Modern surveillance technology fights with off-grid flight as the game of cat and mouse intensifies.

The sharp, smart script plays with the audience’s preconceived ideas about good and bad, boosted further by terrific performances from Walger and Erin, resulting in two protagonists painted with a level of detail seldom seen in this, or indeed any genre. Uncommonly tense, quietly devastating and providing the viewer with ethical dilemmas which will resonate long after the end credits have rolled, New Life uses its focused, small scale confrontations to inform a situation which could have global ramifications. To say I’m looking forward to Rosman’s next project is an understatement.

PANDEMONIUM

Ever wondered what it might be like to hang out in The Beyond after Lucio Fulci’s movie has finished? Quarxx’s grim quasi-anthology allows us to do just that, as car accident victim Nathan (Hugo Dillon) staggers out of his wrecked car on a mountain road which is even more strangely quiet than he’d expected. It’s not much of a spoiler to reveal that he’s dead, as this is hinted at and then made crystal clear early on in the proceedings, but what is a surprise is just how consistently bleak Pandemonium is, leading to a divisive experience which has been the subject of intense dislike, maybe even outright hate, from some quarters. It’s a viewpoint with which I have no issues whatsoever and yet here it is in my Top Ten. Sorry.

A cinematic gaze into the abyss with no shot at redemption for any of its characters and a closing shot which shreds any thoughts of that last minute glimmer of hope, Pandemonium is still able to grip because of its willingness to venture into such cruel territory and boasts a clutch of committed performances, chiefly that of the astonishing Manon Maindivide as the young Jeanne, a girl for whom the word ‘horrid’ does not adequately sum up her actions when she is bad. As for Dillon’s character, well, suffice to say it’s unlikely to end well.

SCREAM THERAPY

A group of female friends, who refer to themselves as the Motherfucking Mermaids, head out to the desert for a restorative weekend away and end up clashing with a group of demon-worshipping incels in Cassie Keet’s consistently chucklesome chiller. The plot guarantees genre action but the emphasis is, quite rightly, on an amusing, keenly observed study of female friendship. Both the dialogue and the dynamic between the Mermaids never feels anything less than authentic as they become a formidable force against the ranks of bros who can’t get laid.

The story may feature some of the worst examples of blokehood ever to walk the planet, but Scream Therapy’s intention isn’t to bash men. As a matter of fact, it’s very much pro finding the right guy. For all of those wrong ones, though, comical – and sometimes bloody – takedowns await. I had to pause this movie when I was watching it as a result of Clare Dellamar’s character Nora providing the retort of “Eat my dick” to the main villain. I’m not a sophisticated soul, it took me a while to stop laughing, I’m not apologising. Give this one a try, you may end up loving it.

STOPMOTION

Robert Morgan’s debut live action feature has been a long time in the making but it ended up being well worth the wait, following young animator Ella (Aisling Franciosi) whose ideas for her own project are stymied by her arthritic mother (an icy turn from Stella Gonet) who needs Ella’s help to complete her final film. However, a confrontation gives Ella the freedom she needs to turn her creative beast loose, and a steady descent into madness begins…

A screening of Stopmotion at Sitges – where it won the Special Jury Award – caused an audience member to faint. It may not have the same effect on the sort of hardened horror hound who reads Warped Perspective but there are many effective, gross moments and Morgan’s ability to make the ickiest looking puppets possible has not diminished one iota over time. Franciosi is a stellar presence, disproving yet again the old adage that horror movies don’t contain awards-worthy acting. A shocking, grotesque meditation on the transformative and sometimes destructive power of the artistic mind, this may share a little DNA with other movies in the same sphere, but Morgan puts a unique stamp on the material. Also, check out all of his earlier work, with a specific call out to the glorious insanity that is Bobby Yeah.

WHERE THE DEVIL ROAMS

The Adams family returns, following up the modern witchery of Hellbender with a Depression-era tale full of carnies and carnage as three participants in a travelling show leave a trail of bodies in their wake. The discovery of a magic artefact allows a pact to be made with dark forces and propels our trio ever closer to a national talent content, but the deal causes many more problems than it will ever solve.

As the Adams collective hones their filmmaking talent and their visual style, their stories get ever wilder and gorier, set on a bedrock of Toby Poser’s poetic writing and precise world building. Watch the film stock deteriorate and the colour palette fade as our protagonists’ situation becomes increasingly desperate. Enjoy the incongruous, but perfectly placed, stoner rock soundtrack. Try to get the final, bizarre image out of your head. Where The Devil Roams is a gorgeous, gory gob of anarchic Americana.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

Here are five more movies which didn’t quite make the Top Ten but which are also, in my humble opinion, well worth your time.

DEADLAND
Think you can’t mix a US border mystery, family drama and cop corruption thriller and then underpin it all with the low key rumblings of a historical supernatural tale? Lance Larson can, hopping genres with ease. The noirish, brooding Texas atmosphere and deliberate pacing is punctuated by brief, brutal violence and startling scares. A terrific cast elevates the piece further and, although the resolution may be too neat for some, it’s a refreshing change to find hope at the end of this type of story.

HOWDY, NEIGHBOR!
I’m not saying I’ve been won over by the subgenre but here’s another title which falls into “found footage”, stitching together text conversations, emails and online video of various forms to form the story of Benjamin (Matthew Scott Montgomery), an actor who runs into a fan who remembers him from the titular sitcom of years past. With its clever casting of actual child stars and a script from Montgomery which favours the chillingly real over the melodramatic, this is a creepy little gem.

HUNDREDS OF BEAVERS
Silent slapstick abounds as down on his luck applejack salesman Jean Kayak (Ryland Brickson Cole Tews) goes head to head with the titular menace in order to make his fortune and win the heart of a foxy local furrier (Olivia Graves). Pacy, visually inventive and engagingly daft, this is horror adjacent, but it’s my list and I’m including it. The sheer effort in bringing this live action cartoon to the screen has paid off handsomely, from its video game-style progress updates to its absurd punch-ups. Often laugh out loud funny, this parody of wasteland adventure tales is a joy.

THE MOOR
Chris Cronin’s study of the current vogue for amateur sleuths investigating true crimes takes on a particularly nightmarish tone as the grieving father of a missing boy enlists the help of his childhood friend turned podcaster. Mixing a conventional, cold case narrative with found footage segments (yes, again!), this slow burner twists and turns in a gloomily fascinating way, before throwing in a brilliant end credit fake-out which leads the story to…you’ll just have to see it.

WHAT YOU WISH FOR
Ryan (Nick Stahl) assumes the identity of a deceased friend and then finds himself at the centre of a gourmet evening, which is unlikely to ever feature as a challenge on Masterchef. The film piles dilemma upon dilemma, as the tangled web Ryan has woven causes a far greater threat to him than his chequered past. Nicholas Tomnay’s twisted morality tale serves up more than its fair share of nervous laughs and features a fabulous, throwaway line in the final scene.

The Moor