By Nia Edwards-Behi
Round these parts, we know full well that I am a bit of a fan of The Last House on the Left. It’s one of those films that I can talk about for hours and watch again and again to find new things in it. I was rather looking forward, then, to the opportunity to review one of the film’s most notorious rip-offs, Aldo Lado’s Night Train Murders (or L’Ultimo Treno della Notte, or Don’t Ride on Late Night Trains, or just plain Late Night Trains… or any number of more conspicuous variations on the Last House title). It’s being released on Blu-ray by 88 Films as the first in their ‘Italian Collection’ of films. Indeed, speaking of rip-offs, I’m quite struck by just how similar to Arrow Video’s designs the cover for this release is. One might think in the increasingly packed niche DVD label market that standing out from other labels would be the way forward, but I guess if imitation works for the movies, then why not for DVD labels? Anyway… I was not ready for this film. I consider myself able to stomach much of what comprises the nastier films in life, but this one blind-sided me a bit. Though by no means the goriest or most brutal film I’ve ever seen, there is something particularly nasty in this one that almost makes it unpalatable.
As far as being a rip-off of Last House on the Left, Night Train Murders is, in fact, exceedingly smart. It’s a genuinely good rip-off, in so far as it interestingly uses the same story beats as Last House but genuinely does something different with them. Two young girls, Margaret (Irene Miracle) and Lisa (Laura d’Angelo) are travelling by train from Germany to Italy to stay with Lisa’s family for Christmas. Aboard the train they encounter two petty criminals, Blackie (Flavio Bucci) and Curly (Gianfranco de Grassi), who are hiding from the ticket inspector. Although at first they help them hide, it soon becomes evident that the two men are up to much worse than fare dodging. Meanwhile, Lisa’s parents prepare for an elaborate dinner party at their home, while anticipating the arrival of the girls early the next morning. Elsewhere on the train, an unnamed woman (Macha Meril) sits in a busy carriage. Her bag is knocked over, and pornographic photographs fall out, which she is quick to retrieve and hide. When, during the journey, she bumps into Blackie and Curly, the full of extent of their deviancy becomes apparent.
The film’s train setting is really rather inspired, even if the story being told is wholly derivative. The tightly-packed travellers and the inescapable nature of the vehicle is an inherently uncomfortable setting, and as the film increases both the tension and the brutality, that sensation only grows. The second, decrepit train is in many ways the perfect backdrop to the horrifying assault on the girls. Horrifying doesn’t really begin to express the grossness of the attack on Lisa and Margaret. When this film gets to it, it doesn’t pull any punches. As I alluded to above, while it’s not as explicitly graphic or gory as Last House, it is never the less immensely nasty and brutal. It’s been quite a while since I’ve watched a film and felt genuinely uncomfortable, but this one did it. I’m not sure I can even explain why in particular (aside from the basic revulsion at such a horrific assault), but I suspect that the lengthy build up to the film’s nastiest moments contributes to their effectiveness. What starts as perhaps simply an exhibitionistic power play descends rapidly into cruel, unwavering sadism. The direct aftermath of the attack is also effective, the girls’ bodies discarded and abandoned in such a way that is unflinchingly cruel and sad.
Although hitting all the same beats as Last House in the latter part of the film – chance encounter with victim’s parents, entry into their home, recognition, realisation and revenge – this portion of the film is considerably less effective. Perhaps I was just too sickened by the earlier segment, but I just didn’t find myself particularly caring by the film’s end. Having said that, the fate of the unnamed woman is interesting, and indeed her role throughout the film is rather fascinating. Somehow, she’s the film’s most well-rounded character, insofar that we know absolutely nothing about her. That might be down to Macha Meril’s performance, and the occasional moments of humanity afforded her. She is, without doubt, this film’s David Hess.
The ‘messages’ delivered by Night Train Murders are all the more on the nose and unsubtle, in comparison to Last House. Here we have another doctor as the family’s patriarch, and the dinner party they host does quick work of confirming their status as, well, “goddamn, high-class, tight-ass freakos.” There’s no such proletariat orating from Blackie or Curly, though, and indeed they become mere accessories to the unnamed woman – who is decidedly middle-class in appearance herself. Perhaps that is the ultimate expression of the sickness that lies in the higher classes, though unlike either set of parents, the unnamed woman would seem to escape relatively unscarred by her experiences. Scattered throughout the film are unnaturally wordy debates between characters on the nature of violence, society, fascism and free will, to such an extent that any point that might be made is somewhat lost in the heavy-handed nature of the execution.
Night Train Murders is in some ways, strangely, a slicker film than Last House, though perhaps that is why it is not quite so effective overall, despite its extreme nastiness. Its dialogue – or at least its English dub – is somewhat lacking, and although there are one or two laughs in the film (including one hugely inappropriate, belly-laugh inducing line of dialogue) it’s a bit too po-faced for its own good. The Morricone soundtrack is expectedly effective, especially the brief refrain played by Curly on the harmonica. Indeed, the harmonica is used so cleverly, I can’t help but wonder whether or not this was the inspiration for a very similar use of the instrument in I Spit on Your Grave.
I can’t say I liked Night Train Murders much, but I sure can say I appreciate the experience of having watched it, and indeed, found it to be extremely interesting – to the point that I would definitely watch it again. It’s a damn sight cleverer than it really needs to be, and it’s generally uneven in its mix of cleverness and heavy-handed sign-posting and dialogue. If truly nasty films are your cup of tea, then take a sip of this one.
Night Train Murders is out on Blu-ray from 27th April 2015 – pre-order from the 88 Films site.