Review by Ben Bussey
I had a rather strange experience watching Ninjas Vs Monsters. I knew going in that it was the third film in a series, following on from 2011’s Ninjas Vs Vampires and 2008’s Ninjas Vs Zombies, but I had no recollection of ever having seen either – then a few minutes in some footage from the original film was used in a flashback montage, and my brain suddenly screamed, “oi, dickhead, you’ve seen this before.” Yes, even though when I posted the trailer for Ninjas Vs Monsters on here only a few days ago I claimed to have been hitherto unaware of Ninjas Vs Zombies, in truth I had not only seen the damn film but I even bloody well reviewed it back in 2012. In my defence, the film had at that point been released by the sadly-missed Revolver Entertainment under the (astonishingly crap) alternate title Zombie Contagion, so that may have had something to do with my confusion. A more likely explanation for these odd gaps in my memory, however, is all that crack I’ve been smoking the fact that I’ve been at this horror reviewing lark for more than six years now, and in that time I’ve seen more no-budget shot-on-DV movies than I’d care to remember – quite literally, it would seem. Still, I do feel a little ashamed for having banished Ninjas Vs Zombies so haphazardly into the landfill site on the peripheries of my memory, for while it isn’t by any means a great film or even a particularly good one, it is a well-meaning effort from a cast and crew with a readily apparent enthusiasm for action, comedy and horror, and indeed some relative skill at pulling them off on film with limited resources.
While I can say with 99.999999999% certainty that I never saw the second installment Ninjas Vs Vampires (our former contributor Aaron Williams covered that on its 2012 release, and was unimpressed), it’s not too hard to pick up what’s going on in Ninjas Vs Monsters, though I get the impression that not having seen either preceding film might somewhat diminish the intended emotional impact of much of what occurs. Yes, I just used the words ’emotional impact’ in relation to a no-budget direct-to-DVD schlockbuster about all-American nerds magically imbued with ninja skills who go head to head with Dracula, Frankenstein, the Wolf Man, the Mummy and a trio of witches (plus a few more colourful opponents for good measure). Not content with simply delivering the low-rent shits and giggles we might anticipate, writer-director Justin Timpane sets out to give us a bona fide trilogy closer here, meaning that the characters we’ve seen develop over the years will finally reach the end of their journey. Ah – but if we haven’t actually seen these characters develop over the years (or, like me, had completely forgotten having done so), it would seem to render much of Ninjas Vs Monsters a trifle redundant. Or it may simply be that the intended audience for this film is very, very small.
Okay, so in a nutshell here’s what’s going on: the band of monster-fighting ninjas open this film in a somewhat fractured state, with the master magician brothers Randall (Dan Guy) and Eric (PJ Megaw) holed up in a remote mansion, whilst their old ninja friends Kyle (Daniel Ross, pictured up top), Cole (Cory Okuchi), Aaron (Jay Saunders) and super-psychic Alex (Devon Brookshire) are still on the job battling demons in whatever form they happen to take – which apparently includes clowns and pirates. However, when both parties find themselves under attack, it comes to light that Dracula (the staggeringly hammy Sam Lukowski) has enlisted all the biggest and baddest from the annals (heheh) of horror history in order to wipe out their super-ninja opponents and, y’know, take over the world and shit. The rag-tag bunch, plus a number of new arrivals including Step (Jasmine Guillermo, who doesn’t look anywhere near as stripper-ish in the movie as they’ve made her look on the cover art), must put aside their differences and overcome both literal and personal demons in order to save basically everything from being plunged into eternal darkness – but it may be that none of them make it out of this particular battle unscathed.
I guess the Ninjas Vs – series must have a fanbase of some size and description to have made it this far, and I should expect that for them Ninjas Vs Monsters may be quite the crescendo, but for everyone else a great deal of the character-based scenes are bound to fall flat. Still, Timpane and co haven’t forgotten about covering the basics, so we have plenty of martial arts action (it ain’t quite The Raid, but it’s competent enough), a smidgen of titilation (mainly in the one witch who only has half a top on), and an overabundance of film geek humour: I spotted lines lifted from Die Hard, Ghostbusters, Mallrats, Aliens, The Monster Squad, Army of Darkness, Predator and more besides before losing count. Such desperation to be fan-pleasing can easily backfire, and I expect for many viewers it’ll just get annoying – but I dunno, I found there’s just enough charm to the whole affair to forgive its fanboy over-indulgences.
If you have no patience for shoestring DIY horror movies with a nerdy disposition, then move along right away; but I found it hard not to feel some affection for Ninjas Vs Monsters. Above all else, it’s rather heartwarming to see that the same cast and crew (from what I can see, the majority of the key players have returned in all three films) have been happy to plugging away this silly little franchise for what looks to have been the better part of a decade – and given the level they’re working at, you know they’re not just in it for the money. Indeed, that the film opens on a bittersweet note with a dedication to series producer and FX artist Brian Anderson who passed away last year would seem to underline what a family affair the Ninjas Vs- series is. As to whether watching the movie makes you feel part of the family, or feels akin to being shown a stranger’s holiday snaps – well, that rather depends on the viewer. Me, I enjoyed it well enough – but I’m not counting my chickens as to whether or not I’ll remember it two-and-a-bit years from now…
Ninjas Vs Monsters comes to UK DVD and Blu-ray on 26th January 2015, from Left Films.
NINJAS VS MONSTERS Trailer from Left on Vimeo.