Review by Quin
There are so many things that I did not like about the horror anthology film Hi-8 that I stopped writing it all down. It was simply too much. From the minute long test pattern at the beginning complete with high pitched audio tone, I knew pretty quick this wasn’t going to be the movie for me. But I stuck with it. I sat through all of the bad acting, bad dialogue, poor sound quality, and ridiculous comic relief (which incidentally was not relief from horror, but relief from boredom). I just sat there and took it all in. The movie wasn’t without its somewhat positive aspects, but there is one glaring mistake it makes that I hope I can correct right now and maybe make the viewing experience a little more pleasurable for some people. (You’re welcome, producers of Hi-8. No charge of course. Just doing what I can to match this movie up with the right audience. I know those people are out there.)
The mistake I am speaking of happens near the close of the end credits. The filmmakers post a list called 8 Simple Rules For Hi-8. This list should have been posted in place of the annoying test pattern at the beginning, and it should have been there long enough so viewers could read the whole thing. If you aren’t familiar with something called Dogme 95, it was an avant-garde filmmaking manifesto created by Lars Von Trier and Thomas Vinterberg as a list of rules that they had to follow when making a film. These rules kept everything stripped down, and uncomplicated – such as only natural light and no special effects. The filmmakers of Hi-8 seem to have something similar in mind and while it’s not nearly as restrictive as Dogme 95, I still find it rather admirable that they are challenging themselves in this way. The 8 Simple Rules For Hi-8 are as follows:
Running time: Each short can be no longer than 10 minutes but no shorter than 8.
Format: Choose your weapon, be it VHS, Hi-8, Digital 8, mini DV. No HD, 1080P, DSLRs.
Lighting: Use no more lights than you’d find in a standard lighting kit. Don’t be afraid to use the best and cheapest light source – the sun!
Camera Work: Hand held or tripod only. No dollies or elaborate jib arms, steadicam rigs, etc…
Sound: Outboard boom mics are accepted, but using the onboard mic is also acceptable, as long as all dialogue is clearly audible. For exteriors, wind noise is OK and encouraged.
Special Effects: Old school makeup effects are encouraged, the gore the merrier. No CGI, Visual FX, Greenscreen of any kind are allowed.
Editing/Post: Edit on whatever program you want. Keep sound and picture editing relatively basic and simple, imagine you are cutting on a non-linear system. No high tech post effects allowed.
Aspect Ratio: All shorts must be full screen, 4×3 just like the good old days before (real and fake) letterboxing.
As far as I could tell, these rules were followed pretty closely, apart from one segment that had fake letterboxing – it stretched the image sideways and made everybody look squished. It would be unfair of me to dismiss these filmmakers because they aren’t in the same class as Von Trier and Vinterberg; they are, however, all quite easily on par with anyone who has ever made a film for Troma. One of the directors here – Chris Seaver – actually made the Filthy McNasty movies, and I don’t mind admitting that I enjoyed those. But they aren’t exactly great movies.
Hi-8 is made up of 8 segments and a wraparound story. The wraparound is about some amateur filmmakers making a movie at the old abandoned L.A. Zoo in Griffith Park, California. During filming, real horror occurs. There is absolutely no connection between this wraparound and the individual shorts, and there is no separation with a title screen for each segment. It’s pretty much a garbled mess of unrelated events, some being more significant and more interesting than the others. The best segment was a very tongue-in-cheek story about a tough Chuck Norris type guy breaking some old people out of a hospital during a zombie invasion. There is some red lighting (possibly another broken rule?) that is reminiscent of Romero’s Creepshow. And a big laugh comes when one of the old men says, “In my day I was able to kick ass and chew bubble gum at the same time, but then I ran out of bubblegum.” Nada, is that you?
I’m pretty sure the producers of Hi-8 are after fans of the VHS series. If you hated the VHS movies, you’ll really hate Hi-8. I like the first VHS; the second two did nothing for me; Hi-8 actually makes me want to poke my eyes out. But that’s just me. If you can get around the lo-fi production values (which I think detract from the impact a horror movie can have if the story is lame), and if you can just zone out and have fun with it, then good for you. I sincerely hope this movie finds its audience.
Hi-8 comes to Region 1 DVD – and special edition VHS – on 16th December 2014, from Wild Eye Releasing.