DVD Review: Almost Human (2013)

Following the microbudget horror scene can be a curious game. A lot of it is instantly forgettable, but now and then along comes the odd small scale DIY movie that manages to capture the attention of the (quote-unquote) horror community. Sometimes it’s easy to see why these cheap and cheerful efforts win the hearts and minds of genre fans; other times you have to wonder quite how this little film in particular managed to break through in such a big way. Case in point: Joe Begos’ Almost Human (not to be mixed up with the recent JJ Abrams TV show or the old Umberto Lenzi movie – which, given how often titles are changed in the DVD horror market, leaves me a little surprised they didn’t change this one just to avoid any confusion).

Just so there’s no misunderstanding here, let me emphasise that this is not by any means a bad film. However, it seems to be among the most highly praised horror movies of the past year or so, garnering huge buzz in the genre press and on the social networks… and I’m afraid to say that, so far as I can see, this acclaim simply isn’t warranted. Sure, Almost Human makes for a relatively diverting 75 minutes or so, but not nearly enough to justify the level of attention it has recieved. Admittedly I saw this home alone on DVD, and director Begos mentions in the accompanying video interview (the sole extra) that the film seems to play better with a crowd; this may very well be true, for while I saw plenty to admire in Almost Human, I couldn’t help but note the room for improvement it left on pretty much every level.

To address the strengths first, Almost Human does have an immediately interesting premise. Opening on what would appear to be an alien abduction, we see an anxious man named Seth (Graham Skipper) barge into the home of his buddy Mark (Josh Ethier) screaming about sinister goings-on and lights in the sky. Undaunted, Mark heads out to investigate – and, in a blaze of blue light and a cacaphony of unearthly noise, he disappears. Fast forward to two years later, Seth is struggling to get his life back on track, while Mark’s girlfriend Jen (Vanessa Leigh) has done her best to move on, settling down with someone new. But then, strangely similar happenings seem to occur once again – and someone looking uncannily like Mark is found in the woods by hunters, naked and covered in some kind of weird slime (or, um, possibly jizz). However, this new Mark would appear to have some gargantuan anger management issues, as he proceeds to kill everyone that stands between him and his former home, with some nefarious purpose driving him on.

It’s not hard to see why a movie with this premise would win over the contemporary horror crowd. 80s nostalgia continues to run deep in the veins of fandom, and everything about this film targets this, from its use of practical make-up FX, a synth-driven score, and the instantly recognisable John Carpenter font for the credits, to the fact that – somewhat gratuitously – it’s even set in the late 80s. However, despite the clear influence of Carpenter, Almost Human would seem to be first and foremost riffing on The Terminator, with its emotionless antagonist that turns up naked, steals clothes from the first poor bastards unfortunate enough to cross his (its?) path, who then heads off in single-minded pursuit of an unwitting waitress. But then by the final act, it all gets a little Re-Animator with some rather unexpected shifts in a more peverse direction; scenes which I can quite easily imagine going down a storm at the fests.

However, it’s also painfully apparent from start to finish that the whole thing could have been done so much better. Begos may aspire to Carpenter, but he doesn’t come anywhere near him as a visual stylist; the photography is murky and dark, the camerawork lacks creativity and flair. Okay, so this might be excused by the fact that Almost Human is a low-budget indie – but honestly, the reported budget on this was $50,000. I’ve seen plenty of films made for less than that which looked better than this. The practical FX frankly aren’t that great either; sure, this is meant to provide some good-time late night viewing, but the rubbery tentacle work just looks a bit silly, killing whatever genuine tension there might have been. On top of which, the kills quickly get repetitive, with an overabundance of throat-slashing; I can’t be the only one who groaned when, after pursuing a victim with a chainsaw, Ethier’s villain suddenly pulls a knife and uses that instead.

But then there’s the matter of the things that don’t cost money, yet are almost always the key pitfall of microbudget movies: good writing and good acting. Almost Human really falls short here. I don’t mind that Begos’ script leaves plenty of questions unanswered regarding the extra-terrestrial threat, but the dialogue is dull, scene after scene feeling flat and lifeless. Much the same is true of the central performances, and as such it’s very hard to get at all invested in the movie.

Maybe it’s true that Almost Human plays better with a crowd, but I can’t help feeling it would have played better if a bit more work had gone into it.

Almost Human is out on Region 2 DVD on 4 August, from Metrodome.