Review by Ben Bussey
Ideas: those little sparks of inspiration that are the backbone of all creative acts, yet so often seem painfully thin on the ground. All movies need at least one big idea to bounce off, and to a certain extent it doesn’t really matter whether it’s good or bad, new or old, incredibly smart or monumentally stupid… just so long as it’s there. The ABCs of Death is built around a very eye-catching idea indeed. What if twenty-six films of around four minutes or less in length were made by twenty-six (or as it turns out twenty-eight) independent filmmakers, all working independently of one another, all with a budget of $5,000, with complete creative control and no stipulations beyond the need to open and close on an image of the colour red, and a letter of the alphabet to stand for a form of death – and the resulting 26 films were shown in alphabetical order to comprise a single feature-length movie? Again, regardless of whether we consider this idea to be great, stupid or whatever, it is most definitely an idea that stands apart, and sometimes that’s enough.
As for the ideas that have sparked from that idea… rarely has the descriptor ‘mixed bag’ seemed quite so apt. As remarked by my esteemed colleague Tristan who reviewed The ABCs of Death before me (following on from Eric Lefenfeld, who reviewed it before him), this film is at once very easy and very hard to review. The temptation is there to simply go letter by letter and give a brief synopsis of each with a thumbs up or thumbs down, but I think we’ve seen a lot of that already in relation to this film. I’d like to consider The ABCs of Death from a slightly different angle. See, it’s not only a multi-filmmaker production, it’s a multi-national production, drafting filmmakers from across the globe far and wide, from Japan to Norway, Argentina to Serbia, Austin, Texas to just down the road from me in Leeds, England. Why, it almost feels like the Horror Olympics, what with representatives of all these nations meeting in the same place with the same goal. And if you will forgive me for approaching this with a similarly sports-like, statistical mindset, with an eye on national averages and whatnot, I have one very key thing to say… with moderate spoilers to follow…
USA, you should be ashamed of yourselves.
Really now. Look at what some nations brought to the table. Norway gave us a burlesque show featuring anthropomorphic animals set in World War 2 (kudos, Thomas Cappelen Mailing). Japan obliquely recreated the finale of 2001 with toilet humour (bravo, Noboru Iguchi – and Yoshihiro Nishimura also did your nation proud). Indonesia brought a mix of hideous sexual depravity and technical panache to rival that of A Serbian Film (good work, Timo Tjahjanto). On which note, Serbia didn’t fare too badly either (hope you’ve forgiven me for that April Fool’s, Spasojevic). Even Canada managed a gun-toting robot that wouldn’t look out of place in a studio summer blockbuster (almost enough to make me forgive you for Altitude, Kaare Andrews).
And what did you manage, USA, with the same brief, and rather more importantly the same budget? People sitting around apartments for a few minutes. Oh-so-witty, self-aware scenes of the filmmakers themselves talking about how they can’t think of anything. How ‘meta’. And what an absolute cop-out. I’m half surprised we didn’t see some of you literally wiping your asses on the $5,000. I’m only half-kidding here, by the way. The sheer contrast between the level of invention and effort put into some entries, and the complete and total lack thereof from some of the others is just staggering – and in most cases it’s the Americans not putting the effort in. And I do think this matters: so often the US indie scene bemoans the major studios for their excessive budgets and controlling ways, how they stifle creativity and squander resources. Given 100% free rein, and – I’ll say it again – five thousand dollars with which to make a four-minute film, you’d hope there would be nothing but mind-blowing shorts in store from the American independents. Not quite…
Fuck it, I’m going to name and shame the worst offenders: Ti West and Adam Wingard. Bad form, both of you. Not so long ago some of my colleagues at Brutal As Hell have sung your praises highly, hailing you as the future of unique, creative, intelligent, independent horror filmmaking, but on the basis of your efforts here and in that pile of shit to rival the Triceratops droppings from Jurassic Park (otherwise known as V/H/S), I’m as good as done with the pair of you. The laziness of your entries is just painful, and reeks of a sense of entitlement; resting on your laurels, coasting by on your existing kudos within the indie horror community. (Angela Bettis – you also disappoint me.) How these pale in comparison with the entries from lesser-known filmmakers rightly seizing this as an opportunity to grab a wider audience – say, Britain’s Lee Hardcastle, with his unique brand of adult-oriented Claymation. Indeed, in almost every case the bigger name directors are not the ones whose films are most likely to be remembered.
Lest I blanketly condemn the US, though – big pat on the back for Marcel Sarmiento. Unique idea, beautifully realised, every penny and more visible on screen. Just as it should be. Hurrah.
Being British, I suppose I should remark on how ‘our boys’ fare: Lee Hardcastle I’ve mentioned of course, and his entry is particularly pleasing as he won a contest of amateur filmmakers from around the world competing for the vacant letter T. Simon Rumley’s is by far the most grounded, realistic entry, no great surprise given his track record with Red White & Blue and The Living and the Dead; it’s an awkward fit amidst so much excess, but again it stands apart. Ben Wheatley takes a classic horror motif and approaches it from an unusual perspective; very commendable work. Then there’s Jake West, whose attempt at a cool Russ Meyer homage sadly falls flat thanks to a weak twist ending; a common problem with short films, of which West is by no means the only guilty party there.
I could go on listing favourites and least favourites, but like I said, that’s already been done a great deal. The long and short of it is, The ABCs of Death is unlikely to end up replacing Creepshow, Trick ‘r Treat and the Amicus movies as everyone’s favourite horror anthology movies, but there can be little doubt that from here on whenever the subject of the horror anthology movie is raised, this is a film that will always get a mention, and deservedly so. While it’s very hit and miss indeed, the sporadic moments of greatness more than justify the drivel you have to sit through in-between. Oh, look at that; this one film can serve as a metaphor for the entire horror genre…
Courtesy of Monster Pictures, The ABCs of Death opens in 26 UK cinemas this Friday, 26th April (full list of cinemas here), then comes to DVD and Blu-Ray from 3rd June.