Review by Spooky Sean
Directed by Kern Saxton, and written by Kern Saxton and Destin Pfaff, Sushi Girl is an interesting mish-mash of the crime and horror genres. It contains some powerful scene chewing from certain members of the cast, but the actors’ performances vary in gravitas widely. This, and certain plot developments keep it from rising above mediocrity.
The plot revolves around a meeting of six criminals who attempted to steal jewels, and failed. They are known collectively as Fish (Noah Hathaway), Crow (Mark Hamill), Max (Andy Mackenzie), Francis (James Duvall), and Duke (Tony Todd). They had a driver, but he isn’t there for the dinner meeting, though his name is Nelson (David Dastmalchian) if you’re curious. Duke has a boner for Asian culture, hence the Sushi Girl (Cortney Palm).
The Sushi Girl is very eye pleasing, as she’s naked and covered in sushi for most of this film. So, for staying nude and completely still on a table for most of the film, Cortney Palm easily has the most challenging role. Her performance once she speaks isn’t awful, but it’s hard to close a film that’s just been dominated by a several other actors for roughly an hour and a half. Tony Todd, Mark Hamill, and Andy Mackenzie are at the top when it comes to delivery. Tony Todd, as Duke the ringleader, with his booming authoritative demeanor, both intimidates and hypnotizes with his monologues about an abusive father and Asian culture. Hamill as Crow, a foppish, blonde-haired sicko is equally fantastic. He’s a very memorable character, and one almost wishes the film were just a crime/buddy comedy with Duke and Crow. Hell, they could call it Duke and Crow! Mackenzie as Max, a bruiser with an explosive temper, isn’t as good as Duke or Crow, but he has his moments. Max’s ferocity is certainly a thing to behold. No one else can match these three, nor their intensity. No one gives a terrible performance; it’s just hard to outdo Todd, Hamill, and Mackenzie once they get yelling at each other. This film is all about Tony, though. Not since Candyman has Todd delivered such a performance, and to be fair, it’s because he’s mainly only had bit parts since.
One thing that keeps this film from moving beyond the middle-of-the-road is how derivative it seems. Saxton channels Tarantino so hard, but I would rather not have to watch another knock-off. Yes, the concept of a whole film based around a human decoration which must stay quiet is somewhat unique, but not for the horror genre. A little film called Saw already did that. And, the twist ending, if you can even call it that, is extremely useless. Of course it has something to do with the Sushi Girl; why else would she be in the title of the movie! Not to give away the ending, but it also seems like it required a lot of factors to have occurred in order for things to have gone exactly as planned.
There are horror elements in the film, mainly in the level of violence and torture which occur. However, it seems to be one of those films where you wonder what the point of it all was. All I took from it was that it’s tough to be a Sushi Girl, and you shouldn’t get in a car accident after a robbery. And to not eat Fugu, the poisonous blowfish. But, come to think of it, I already learned not to eat Fugu from that Simpsons episode where Homer eats it and almost dies. So, I guess all I took from it, is that being a Sushi Girl must be annoying, don’t fuck over criminals, and don’t get in a car accident after a robbery.
It’s worth a watch, as the pacing, flashbacks, and set design are proficient. Still, it’s really just an exercise in giving Tony Todd and Mark Hamill a chance to yell and act like criminals, which is the film’s main selling point. If this film were just Mark Hamill and Tony Todd, with occasional inclusions of other actors, it would have been good – arguably no matter what the plot was. Fast food employees, call center workers, explorers of space or the ocean, professional mascots down on their luck: any of these would have worked with Todd and Hamill. So, you watch it for Candyman and Luke. Well, that and for the naked lady on the table. Must have been awkward as hell for her. You don’t watch it for the plot. It’s ridiculous. And I just wanted to watch either Jackie Brown, or Reservoir Dogs after finishing it. Dear every filmmaker, stop trying to do Quentin Tarantino. Just do you.
Sushi Girl is available on demand now in the US.