Review: Patient Seven (2016)

By Quin

I get so giddy with excitement every time another anthology horror film is released. They always remind me of some of the older films I saw as a kid and there’s just something comforting about them. I also find the length of each segment more appealing as I get older. Sometimes it’s nice to have the movie version of “fun size” candy bars. A two hour complete story arch, where it is material you feel like you’ve seen before, can be a bit much. On top of all this, some of the best horror filmmakers working today are making short films. Nine directors are assembled here to piece together a pretty solid and fun anthology film. While these filmmakers may not be among the best (yet), Patient Seven is still one of the better anthology films of the last few years that I’ve seen.

The film’s wraparound story begins as Dr. Marcus (played by Michael Ironside) arrives at Spring Valley Mental Institution where he is going to interview some severely disturbed patients about their conditions. His findings will be included in a book he is working on. During each interview, we see the events that brought each of them to the hospital via the individual short films. As you might guess from the title, there are seven patients total. Each one is played without too much camp or irony, which is a smart move from the actors. While watching the first two I wrote in my notes that they seemed like extras from something between One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. It also doesn’t take long at all to discover Dr. Marcus is a terrible doctor and a total asshole looking to exploit these people.

The first segment is actually the weakest, but it’s still pretty interesting. The way it was shot immediately put me off, but when the supernatural stuff starts happening, it really kicks into gear. There are some simple but nice looking visual effects as well as a creature that looks really cool. If you are a Guillermo Del Toro fan or loved the Buffy The Vampire Slayer episode Hush, you will be happy to hear, the creature is played by Doug Jones.

I don’t want to say too much about the others, but it’s fine to tell you that a couple of them are darkly hilarious and could maybe inspire a great Halloween costume. One is a zombie story that will break your heart. There’s one about a vampire hunter that has a man being questioned about why he killed his victims, to which he replies in this order, “Dealer. Pimp. Chelsea Fan.”

The final segment is the one that ties the whole thing together and it’s my opinion that the title Patient Seven gives too much away. It might have been better to called it Seven Patients. I would not be surprised if you guess what is going to happen early on. Unfortunately it’s not very original. But that last short film is great. It’s shot by a couple guys named Johannes Persson and Rasmus Wassberg and it features some great effects and some infected people (Rather than use the z-word, I opted for the Umberto Lenzi term) that look like no others I’ve seen. The snowy cinematography is a bit like if Fargo combined with Let the Right One In, but became a shaky found footage movie. It’s beautiful, but oh-so-very-shaky.

Even though I knocked the wraparound story, I do think it might have made a worthwhile film on its own. But when you have a collection of short films that are this strong, all the wraparound does is force it all to fit together in a sloppy way. However, please don’t let that stop you from seeing this movie. Patient Seven is far from perfect, but I would not be surprised if when I’m listing my favorite films of 2016, a couple of these short films are mentioned. When you get a chance to see truly good horror short films, the delivery system shouldn’t make much of a difference. Rent this, and watch closely for the names attached to each short film to become the next big thing.

Patient Seven is available now from Terror Films across multiple platforms including Youtube, Vimeo, Amazon Instant, Google Play, XBox Live, Vadu, Sony Playstation and iTunes.