Review by Ben Bussey
Can’t you just picture the scene? Bunch of filmmakers sitting around, just watched an episode of Game of Thrones, opened a few beers, put Led Zeppelin III on… voila. Well, okay, perhaps a little more thought went into Hammer of the Gods then that. Presumably someone also threw the Cliff’s Notes version of Apocalypse Now into the mix too. Oh, and of course they must have thrown a bit of Viking-related stuff in there, obviously; presumably it’s historically accurate as, y’know, they don’t have horns on their helmets.
My expectations were very much in check approaching Hammer of the Gods, given I’d already heard from Steph that it was the first film she has ever walked out of at last week’s FrightFest. That’s quite the damning assessment, particularly given some of the FrightFest films that she has sat through. Still, I’m happy to report that I for one didn’t hate it. As a basic, unplug your brain action movie, it’s perfectly passable. There are a few good scraps here and there, and the scenery’s quite nice. And I really dig the font they use for the end credits; looks like it came straight off the VHS art of a Deathstalker movie, or some such.
But I rather think Hammer of the Gods was aiming for a bit more than that. Or at least, it damn well should have been. When you know you’re sitting down for a hard-edged historical action movie about Vikings doing battle with Saxons, you expect something rather more than five or six guys having a punch-up with five or six other guys. You expect hordes and armadas that are something more than computer generated images glimpsed briefly in the background. And, damn it all, you expect Vikings who actually seem like Vikings, rather than your standard British lager-swilling football hooligans with slightly scraggier beards than usual.
And this is just me getting animated about what a Viking should be. Imagine if it was Keri or Annie reviewing this… indeed, when not drowning in their own oestrogen discussing Vikings, my colleagues have quite rightly noted how rarely Vikings get the treatment they deserve on celluloid, and Hammer of the Gods is most definitely not an exception to the rule.
The key problem is, once Hammer of the Gods sets up an interesting story world, it chooses a really not very interesting story to tell within it. Warrior prince Steinar (Charlie Bewley, who quite frankly looks like he’d struggle as team leader in a fast food outlet, let alone commanding an army) is sent on a mission by his mortally wounded father (James Cosmo, who presumably had nowhere else to be that day) to locate his brother, long since lost in Saxon country. Leading his small rabble of axe-wielding hoodies, Steinar heads out on a quest into the heart of darkness… yes, I told you this was a half-baked Apocalypse Now rip-off, and that only gets all the more blatant once Steinar finds his long-lost brother, and the bizarre world he has built around himself. Not that I suspect either director Farren Blackburn or writer Matthew Read didn’t expect anyone to notice their homage to Coppolla’s classic, but it doesn’t really help their cause; it rather makes the viewer stop and think, “man, I’d much rather be watching Apocalypse Now at this very moment…”
Efforts are made to keep things fun. As well as Game of Thrones, the influence of TV’s Spartacus is also very much in evidence, not least for the abundance of colourful expletives and the anachronistic electronic soundtrack. The film also seems eager to question the value of religious faith, particularly when used as an excuse for violent atrocities; an agreeable theme, for sure, but not one that’s handled in a compelling enough way. Ultimately, Hammer of the Gods is a film that’s going for a visceral rather than intellectual impact – but there just isn’t nearly enough bang for buck to get the job done. I don’t know if it’s a budgetary issue, but it all just feels far too small scale, yet anxious to make it seem bigger than it really is. Hold it up to, say, Zack Snyder’s 300, or even Neil Marshall’s Centurion, and it feels like an episode of Hollyoaks by comparison. And, despite the 18 certificate, the violence isn’t even really that full-on; one or two brief moments aside, there’s nothing here that wouldn’t generally pass for a 15 these days.
2013 was looking to be the year of the Viking movie; Hammer of the Gods does not set the standard high. Here’s hoping Chris Crow’s The Darkest Day is a damn sight better…
Hammer of the Gods is out on DVD, Blu-ray and limited theatrical release in the UK now, via Entertainment One.