By Ben Bussey and Keri O’Shea
Sheffield horror festival Celluloid Screams hosted a screening of Kevin Smith’s (how to put this generously) somewhat divisive latest movie Yoga Hosers, starring the writer-director’s daughter Harley Quinn Smith and Lily-Rose Depp (daughter of Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis, who also co-star) in a reprise of their roles from Smith’s last movie Tusk. This time, rather than aiding in the search for a missing American who has been forcibly transformed into a walrus, the teenage Canadian convenience store clerks find themselves doing battle with a miniature army of Nazi sausages.
Okay then. Here’s what BAH’s editors made of the film. (Some mild spoilers, but this is such a random film that it really won’t matter a great deal.)
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Keri: So…we chatted about doing this, rather than a conventional review of Yoga Hosers, Kevin Smith’s new film.
Ben: Indeed we did. A more informal approach seems appropriate for this one (note: we did likewise for Smith’s last film, Tusk, at Abertoir 2014). At the time of writing it’s about 48 hours since the screening at Celluloid Screams, and my overall feeling is still… what the almighty fuck did we just watch?
Keri: I think we watched a film starring friends and family, for friends and family, that doesn’t have even a shred of sense or reason outside of that.
Ben: Other than Canada jokes. Can’t forget aboot those.
Keri: But yep, all in all a completely bizarre experience, and like you it’s hard to know where to start. The Canada jokes were sub-Terrance and Phillip, for one thing.
Ben: In a way, Kevin Smith’s comedic sensibilities really seem stuck in the 1990s. Thinking back, most comedy TV shows at the time seemed determined to run jokes into the ground through relentless repetition of gags and catchphrases, and Smith did likewise with his early Askewniverse films. So it is here; the ‘aboot’ thing is funny maybe the first handful of times, but he just keeps going with it, along with every other half-baked idea.
Keri: Is it meant to be entertaining, do you think? Or is it simply to bait the nasty cwitics?
Ben: Ah yes, those critics that Smith goes out of his way to insist he doesn’t care about and doesn’t make films for, yet has to get a stab at in everything he produces…
Keri: I agree with you that Smith’s stuff hasn’t aged well. Or at least, he hasn’t moved very far, whereas a lot of what used to be big fans have started looking elsewhere.
Ben: Which, as you say, leaves the sense that Yoga Hosers is intended for his friends and family, and that’s it. And of course this is most obvious because he cast his daughter and her best friend as the leads.
Keri: I sometimes wonder why he puts films on general release; some part of him must want his stuff to be watched and commented on. Surely he’s solvent enough to make his own short films, if he so desires, just for his nearest and dearest? But he doesn’t.
Ben: I guess ultimately he’s taken a fairly personal approach throughout much of his career; it’s just that in the past the personal things he drew on reflected a more universal experience, i.e. the directionless post-education angst of Clerks, or even the religious anxieties of Dogma.
In years gone by, when I was a more heartfelt fan, I definitely enjoyed the sense of being in on the joke. I vividly recall going to see Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and it was like half the cinema had seen his old movies and half hadn’t. I liked that feeling of superiority at the time; it’s a very crass fanboyish instinct. Of course, I watched J&SBSB again lately and found it unwatchable!
Keri: Hmm, I think you’re throwing a pretty broad mantle over Dogma, which is ultimately as silly as his more recent stuff (Alanis Morrisette as God doing handstands? Fun film, but not really universal experience!)
Never been a massive fan myself, but to be fair I think something like Yoga Hosers is a great leveller; I don’t think even superfans would go a bundle on it.
Ben: Well yeah, Dogma is indeed very silly; in fact that was the film of his that Yoga Hosers most reminded me of. But as it was rooted in Biblical mythology and questions of faith, I think that gave it something cohesive. Yoga Hosers though…?!
Keri: Canadian involvement in WWII? 😛
Ben: Hmm… not so sure aboot that. (HAHA, I said ‘aboot’ again! Because that’s how Canadians say ‘about!’ Geddit? Geddit? Don’t worry if you didn’t, I’ll keep repeating that same joke over and over.)
Keri: Yeah…..*starts twitching* So anyway – did you find anything redemptive in YH?
(Note: there was a LONG pause here.)
Ben: Well, as you know I’ve always been a big fan of kiddie horror films. Monster Squad, Critters, all that kind of stuff; loved them growing up, still enjoy them now. And I feel like this what Yoga Hosers was kind of intended to be, and if Smith had worked a bit harder on the script, it might have been. That, more than any number of Canada jokes, is what made the film so frustrating for me. It had the potential to be something more.
Keri: Hadn’t thought of it that way…I think I’m still wondering what it had in mind, really. But it felt like several films bolted together in ways not necessarily functional.
Ben: Part typical Kevin Smith, part high school comedy, part Mel Brooks Nazi film, part monster movie – and, in a particularly misguided section I thought, part slasher.
Keri: The dippy teenager aspect….okay. Not completely convinced by Coleen & Coleen, but they are both genuinely young and not experienced actresses. Then the Satanic sacrifice thing, followed by the WWII mad scientist thing…very busy. You know when scientists feed drugs to spiders to see what happens to their web-spinning abilities? I feel like I witnessed one of those experiments.
Ben: And the thing is, I wouldn’t generally object to such an approach. I do appreciate films that take weird risks, throw in diverse elements and do the unexpected… it just has to be done somewhat better than Yoga Hosers did it. Joseph Kahn’s movie Detention is, I think, a good example of the kind of film Yoga Hosers wants to be.
Keri: So what would have made YH work for you, then? More script work – what else?
Ben: There has to be some genuine wit in there. Not just “hey look, isn’t that weird?” It’s like the cinematic equivalent of the office prankster who’s constantly going “I’m just MAD, I am!” And, I guess given we saw it at a horror festival and it’s been marketed mainly toward the horror crowd, I would have appreciated *some* attempt at genuine scares here and there. Particularly given Smith comes to this from Red State and Tusk, both of which were at times genuinely grueling (in a good way).
Keri: A couple of things, for me: firstly, pitching a film as part of a trilogy when it’s very tonally different to a film like Tusk (which of course had wacky look-at-me elements, but was also fucking nasty) makes it feel like it’s hanging in the balance for starters…
Ben: That’s the real kick in the nether regions here – it feels like Smith’s taken a big step backwards.
Keri: Yeah, what we have is Clerks for millennials (people who would not get the film, trust me) with some camp horror elements bolted on. But I think the thing which really sullies it for me is the self-conscious ‘heh heh, the CRITICS will hate this, and in fact I’ve had them in mind for this whole movie, even though I don’t care about them and FUCK THOSE GUYS’. It echoes through the whole film.
Ben: Definitely. And in a way I think that’s the main crux of why the film just never finds its feet tonally, because otherwise there is something kind of sweet about it given that it’s a film that he’s made specifically for his daughter.
If you’ll excuse me using one of your all-time favourite phrases now, Keri… AS A PARENT I could relate to the sense of father-daughter love in the film. Ultimately, this is the work of a man who knows his daughter is growing up, and just wants to play with her once more like they used to.
Keri:..but hopefully not all the ass shots…
Ben: And now my use of the phrase ‘play with her’ seems a bit wrong. Yeah, it wasn’t quite Dario/Asia, but there definitely were some moments, particularly in those yoga scenes, when one does have to question Smith’s placement of the camera. Plus, the fact that the one guy who expresses sexual interest in her turns out to be a homicidal would-be Satanist?
Keri: I dunno, Ben, you know how I am about parenting. Like scuba-diving and neck tattoos, I’m sure some people get a lot out of it, but it’s not my bag. Perhaps there’s something to your idea about this being to do with play – what I do know, though, is that casting one’s family/spouses seems to be a recipe for eyebrow-raising fuck-ups. Not quite the case here, I grant, but moments of it were close to the mark…
And aside from his daughter, there were other odd moments and decisions which just come back to the ‘well I know them, they’re my friends’ thing. Not the best reason for casting someone.
Ben: Ah yes, like the cameos from all the main actors from Tusk – bar Michael Parks, who I can only assume changed his phone number/moved house before Smith could ensnare him. To be fair, I quite enjoyed Justin Long’s Yogi Bayer (that was a joke that worked for me!) but Haley Joel Osment’s Nazi was a stretch, and Genesis Rodriguez’s PE teacher… what the hell was she? Canadian by way of Minnesota, Scotland, Ireland and Wales, with a bit of Eastern European thrown in?
Keri: Echoes of Sheri Zombie’s oddly amiss Valley Girl accent in the midst of the deeply Southern Fireflies, haha!
Ben: Never a great point of reference! And, as with Tusk, I suppose we should again address Johnny Depp’s role…
Keri: Well…an odd band of actors, all told. As for Depp, whatever else is true of him, he clearly sticks like glue to people he likes. Ditto, Tim Burton. Not a great comic turn here, though I suppose he joined the plot together a little…
Ben: Yeah, he’s primarily there as exposition guy. And so people can say “hey look, it’s Johnny Depp in weird make-up doing a funny voice! What are the chances?” But of course, it may again be a case of what fathers will do for their little girls, given that Depp’s daughter is Colleen #2.
Which brings up the question: what did you actually think of Harley Quinn Smith and Lily-Rose Depp? All questions of nepotism to one side, were they able to carry the film? Because that to me is another of the things about the film that stings a bit; I honestly don’t think they were that bad.
Keri: I thought they were quite endearing, but obviously not familiar with acting. None of which would hurt them in a more coherent film. Mind you, sometimes a short cameo is 100% more endearing than a longer one…again, risky business, this.
I think the film could have been fun, overall, with a little less nepotism and a bit more enjoyment at telling a story – rather than telling bits of lots of stories, and mainly to stick a middle finger up at people who just watch films for pleasure.
On which note, I’d like to say this: I am I suppose an ‘armchair critic’. I write about films. But filmmakers need to get shot of this idea that everyone who ever comments on a film is some sort of a) enemy and/or b) jealous and/or c) not qualified to comment. Throwing hate at people for their work, of course – different. But to use an analogy which came up recently, if a chef serves me a terrible meal, can I comment – even though I’m not a chef? I’d hope so, and equally if I had a good meal, I wouldn’t expect the response to be ‘thanks – but you’re not a chef, so you have no idea how this meal is made.’ Smith needs to drop this idea for good, or his films will continue to suffer. YH shows that.
Ben: I’ll second that. A dissatisfied customer is a dissatisfied customer, in any capacity. Yoga Hosers made me smile in places, but more than anything else it just left me bewildered. Just as Smith seemed to be winning audiences back a bit, he’s gone and alienated everyone worse than he ever did before – and in so doing, probably soured his daughter’s chances of getting much of an acting career of her own afterward, which you’d imagine was half the point here. And one final question… what the hell is a Yoga Hoser anyway?
Keri: well a hoser is, the internet tells me, a ‘foolish or uncultivated person’… As for the yoga connection, we can only guess!
Ben: But one of many things we can only guess about. Such as how Kevin Smith was able to accrue a couple of million dollars to make this film.
Keri: Indeed…and perhaps a good point on which to end…
Ben: Agreed. Oh well, we went in with open hearts and minds, but Yoga Hosers really is as bad as everyone’s been saying. Sorry aboot that.