By Ben Bussey
I’ve reviewed more than my fair share of no-budget horror movies over the years, and it often proves a challenging business. The same complaints come up time and again; horrendous production values frequently render the action almost impossible to follow, and more often than not the subpar writing and acting mean that even with the best sound and picture quality possible, we still wouldn’t be missing much. Writer-director Joshua Hull’s Chopping Block carries more than a few of those same tell-tale signs thanks to its very lo-fi aesthetics – but happily, it has a couple of things that so much no-budget horror is sorely lacking: a coherent script with genuine wit, and actors who clearly know what the hell they’re doing. This doesn’t by any means make Chopping Block a ground-breaker, but it definitely counts for a lot.
Our story centres on a quintet of corporate office workers who, thanks to the negligence of their lethargic section leader Donnie (Michael Malone), find themselves fired by their typically self-obsessed boss. Naturally pissed off, the team do what any sensible person would under the circumstances – head direct to the nearest bar and part with what little remains of their last pay day on an afternoon’s worth of alcoholic oblivion. Whilst shit-faced, they hit upon an idea: they could kidnap the boss’s spoiled daughter and hold her for ransom. Obviously it’s not a great idea. Unfortunately, our heroes are dumb enough to actually follow through on it. Naturally, things don’t quite go according to plan; but as difficult as kidnapping proves to be, there’s soon a considerably larger obstacle in their path. The girl they’ve kidnapped isn’t only the boss’s daughter; she’s also the target of a hulking, axe-wielding serial killer who’s already carved his way through all her friends, and will stop at nothing to reach his prize.
Given that I’ve discussed the film in relation to other no-budget horror movies, I should make one thing clear: Chopping Block is at least 75% a comedy of errors, with only a hint of horror. While the first scene hints at the horrors ahead, the slasher movie elements don’t come into play at all until the final 20 minutes or so. This, I think, was a slight misjudgement. I can see that the film is perhaps aiming for a From Dusk Till Dawn-esque rug-pull, turning the film completely on its head when the viewer least expects it, but FDTD made sure to do that around the midway point; making it a third act revelation means the horror side feels pretty short-changed. It doesn’t help that the antagonist and the deaths that ensue are a bit on the nondescript side.
The good news, however, is that Chopping Block proves surprisingly effective as a comedy. This really needs to be emphasised because, again, no-budget movies of this nature are often terribly written and acted. By contrast, Chopping Block is first and foremost a character-based piece, riffing on the interplay between the mismatched desk jockeys-turned-partners in crime. It isn’t necessarily laugh a minute stuff, and occasionally the humour gets a little too goofy for its own good, but it proves plenty of fun to watch. Malone, Jas Sims, and Raymond Kester in particular have great screen presence and comic timing.
This is Joshua Hull’s third directorial credit, and all I’ve seen of his work to date, but on this evidence he may well be an indie filmmaker worth keeping an eye on, and I certainly hope we’ll see bigger and better things both from the writer-director and the cast in the near future.
Chopping Block is out on Special Edition Blu-Ray, DVD, and Vimeo On Demand in the US on August 30th, from Legless Corpse Films.