The Task (2010)
Distributor: After Dark Originals
DVD/Blu-Ray Release Date (UK): 11th July 2011
Directed by: Alex Orwell
Starring: Texas Battle, Alexandra Staden, Adam Raynor, Marc Pickering
Review by: Ben Bussey
See the picture above? That’s Texas Battle, the man whose stage name makes Vin Diesel seem down to earth, best known to the likes of us for his role in Wrong Turn 2 in which he defied convention by being a black man in a slasher who survives. (Apparently he was in Final Destination 3 as well, but I’m damned if I can remember; all the films in that series just blur, don’t you find?) Anyway, the above photo is him in The Task, trapped in a metal coffin filled with human waste. So why, you might ask, did I feel it was appropriate to open this review with an image of a man up to his ears in shit? Hmmm…
First off, I suppose I should give you the basic synopsis. A bunch of young wannabes – a glamour girl, a swishy gay guy, an intellectual, a tough girl, her pretty boy brother, and, uh, Texas Battle – find themselves forcibly escorted to an abandoned prison. But what we are at first lead to believe is an abduction turns out to be the set-up to the reality TV show that all concerned had earlier auditioned for. The titular task is simple; this 21st century Breakfast Club must spend the night in the spooky old house of correction, performing various challenges. It’s all being captured on camera, and behind the scenes the crew are rubbing their hands at the surefire hit in the making. But – pull yourself up a chair – things might not be quite what they seem…
Now, as the venacular goes, let’s cut to the chase. The Task is painful. Really. Every frame of it aches with the clear desire to break the mould, subvert expectation and revitalise the genre, and every frame of it fails miserably. The cleverer it tries to be, the dumber it comes across, and every attempt at a new idea it throws out has been done before, many times in most instances. Reality TV horror? Come on. The presence of Texas Battle (I just can’t keep from repeating that glorious name) underlines the fact that Wrong Turn 2 was four years ago, and certainly wasn’t the only horror to use a reality show as its backdrop: My Little Eye, Halloween Resurrection, and later Dead Set… I’m sure there are more besides if I had the willpower to wrack my brains on the subject. I could go into more specifics regarding the films from which The Task borrows devices – not least the pathetic twist ending, which makes no sense, and is shortly followed by another twist that makes even less sense – but I’ll have the courtesy and clemency to leave such things for the viewer to discover. Heaven forbid I rid you the pure experience of disappointment.
The other big issue with The Task – the other thing it tries and fails to do – is its attempt to conceal its transatlantic origins. So far as I can gather it’s a US/UK co-production, shot in Bulgaria and (the all-American Texas Battle notwithstanding) cast largely with Brits, most of whom attempt American accents; emphasis on the word ‘attempt.’ Among them is Marc Pickering. He’s a young actor I’ve hitherto felt twangs of envy toward; he got to share his every scene with Johnny Depp in Sleepy Hollow, and was nearby when Helen Mirren popped them out in Calendar Girls. No such envious feelings here, as he gets bogged down with a truly pathetic stereotypical gay character replete with predictable innuendos; note his complaints that their directions in the prison (“go straight, take a left, go straight” etc) contain “too many straights,” and when the contestants are required to randomly select a chess piece to designate their role in the game he winds up with the white queen. Nor do the rest of the cast fare much better in the cliched characterisation/lazy writing department.
Creepy clown faces pop up in abundance, so if you’re a real coulrophobe (thank you Wikipedia) I suppose The Task might take a strain on your nerves. For the rest of us, the only strain will be on your patience. Unless you take a perverse pleasure in enduring mediocrity (which, it must be said, is something the After Dark brand is coming to be synonymous with), this is one to miss.
And just because I can’t end this review without typing it at least once more… Texas Battle. What an awesome rockin’ name. Too bad the film stinks.